


Every Kind of Way

by kimberlys_hart



Category: The Rookie (TV 2018)
Genre: Casual Sex, Dramatic, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Loss, Pre-relationship flashbacks, Sex, Sexual Tension, Smut, Tucy, chenford, inaccurate depictions of police work, title is from the sexiest song out there, vague depictions of police work lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-23 05:40:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 61,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23473285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimberlys_hart/pseuds/kimberlys_hart
Summary: It was bound to happen. Maybe not like this.OrAfter an emotional day, Lucy and Tim sleep together. They do it out of anger and adrenaline, as a means to de-stress. Although Lucy swears it was a one time only thing, neither of them can hide the fact that they’re addicted to each other.
Relationships: Tim Bradford & Lucy Chen, Tim Bradford/Lucy Chen
Comments: 211
Kudos: 571





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally deleted this chapter so I had to reupload it ahhhhh.. But I'm glad I was able to read all your comments before I made my dumbass mistake.

The first time they had slept together, you could almost call it a crime of passion. It wasn’t illegal, what they did, but it sure felt like it.

It was nearing the end of shift but Lucy and Jackson had been off the streets since that morning. Tim knew he would find them there. At the hospital. And as he burst through those hospital doors, blinded for a moment by the fluorescents in the sitting room, he was relieved to see Lucy. She was bruised but she was on her feet. She was pacing, in fact, and alone.

He jogged toward her even though he hadn’t been too far to begin with. “Lucy,” He said.

She turned when she heard him, and the expression on her face sent a pit straight to his stomach. She opened her mouth but struggled to say a single word.

“I heard what happened but was caught up at a drug bust in Bel Air. I came as soon as I could.” Tim said. “Are you okay?”

She nodded fast but soon dropped her head to her chest and covered her face with her hands.

“And West?” Tim asked, though it was like burning salt to the wound. So he brought her into his arms for a hug. She was sobbing now. He hugged her, thinking vigorously about what he could possibly say in the moment.

She cleared her throat and backed away from his embrace. It was weird to be hugged by her former T.O. Even despite the circumstances, it still felt inappropriate.

“He’s still in surgery…” She finally said, her voice soft as she recovered from her tears.

“He’s gonna be okay, Boot.” Tim said.

“Tim, he was shot. And it’s my fault!”

“No, it couldn’t have been.” Tim took her hand. “I talked to Grey and he said there was no way you could’ve avoided it without you taking a bullet yourself.”

Lucy shook her head as more tears threatened to spill. “He wasn’t there,” Lucy basically screamed but caught herself, lowering her voice, “and neither were you so you wouldn’t know.”

Tim took a beat. Looking at her, he felt helpless. He took hold of her forearms and forced her to look up at him. “I wish I was.” He whispered.

Lucy shook him off of her and sat down in one of the chairs. Tim followed. But not even a second later, the doctor came into her sightline. She stood, albeit too quickly she realized, as she got immediately dizzy.

“Jackson?” was all Lucy could utter as Grace approached them.

“Is being moved into the ICU.” Grace said.

“Is he- is he-?”

“We’ll have to monitor him until he’s stable. I told you earlier he would get a chance at full recovery if he survived surgery and he did. The rest is up to him.” Grace smiled sympathetically.

“Can I see him?”

“Not now. He’s been through a lot.” Grace said, glancing up at Tim before looking back at Lucy. “You should go home and get some rest. You might’ve dodged a literal bullet today but you still got quite a bit of head trauma.”

“I feel fine.” Lucy protested.

“You gotta go home, Boot.” Tim said.

“No,” she looked to both Tim and Grace with refusal but they gave her none of it. “No, I need to stay here until he wakes up. He’s my partner.”

“Lucy, he’s got his dad here. And Sterling. And Lopez and Nolan and even Harper.” Tim said. “They are all in fighting shape to stay up but you’re not.”

Lucy was shaking her head but she was soon accepting defeat.

“Look, I’ll take you home so you can get some rest.” Tim said before looking to Grace. “Is she good to go?”

“All clear.” Grace said. “I’ll have John send you guys updates as soon as they come.”

Tim put a soft hand on Lucy’s back and guided her towards the sliding doors. “Let’s go, Boot.”

Lucy dropped her head. “Stop fucking calling me boot, Tim. I’m not your goddamn boot.”

They walked through the doors and into the night, the LA breeze brushing them closer together.

“I know,” said Tim.

Tim drove her home, glancing at her at every red light. She had her face buried in her hands, her elbows on the dash. He tried to calm the nerves she wore on her sleeves but it was no use. She didn’t say a word, didn’t make a sound. If she had shed a tear or two in the car that night, he could have never known for sure; she was good at quieting herself when vulnerable. And alone in a car with Tim didn’t feel like a place where she’d let it out.

They arrived at her apartment and got out of the car. Tim helped Lucy into the building and when he saw her fumbling with her keys, he knew he had to see to it that she got in okay.

As soon as they entered the apartment, Lucy walked straight in, dropped her bag to the floor and plopped herself onto the couch. Tim stepped inside, having not really invited in officially but she left the door open for him.

“Hey have you had something to eat?” Tim called out to her from the kitchen.

“Did I eat any of that god-awful food at the hospital? No, I didn’t.” She said.

“Okay, well you should eat before you sleep.” Tim said. “Are you cleared to work tomorrow?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay then you gotta have some dinner.” Tim searched her cupboards for something he could whip up. He pulled out a box of KD’s macaroni and cheese. “Jesus, Chen, please tell me these are Jackson’s.”

Lucy turned her head to look at him. “Don’t shame me for my guilty pleasure, Officer Bradford.”

“This is gross.”

“Actually, scratch that. I’m not that guilty.”

If there was any other option, Tim would have gone with something else but much to his chagrin, he had to settle for cancer in a box.

“You don’t have to cook it for me; I can do it myself.” She scoffed.

“But if I don’t cook it, you’ll just go straight to bed and watch _Love Island_ as soon as I leave.”

“Getting too familiar, aren’t we Officer Bradford?” She smirked. “Listen, it’s really okay. I’ll just postmates something.”

Tim and Lucy’s relationship was miles away from where it was when they first met almost two years ago. When he was her T.O. and she was his boot. And a lot of this good rapport was built after Lucy’s kidnapping. It wasn’t extremely out of the ordinary that he would be at her apartment this late at night; he had always been just a phone call away since. He was always there for her. Even after he stopped being her training officer. They went on morning runs together with Kujo. They sometimes got brunch. But as much as she often tried to convince him to watch _Love Island_ with her, he never agreed to watch “cheap television.”

“Are you sure?” Tim said, walking over to meet her on the couch.

“Yeah, I have $20 off my next postmates order anyway.” She started to rub her temples.

“I mean,” he sat down next to her. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“What do you think?”

He watched her for a second as her expression started to change. And maybe he shouldn’t have asked her in the first place. Of course she wasn’t okay. She was knocked unconscious by a gangbanger and found her partner had been shot when she came to. Tim was stupid to ask but he couldn’t take it back.

Lucy abruptly stood up, grabbing a book from the coffee table and throwing it at the wall, letting out a loud grunt as it hit. And then she couldn’t stop. She was throwing everything in reach. Tossing used mugs and letting them shatter beneath her feet. She kicked over the coffee table. She was pulling her hair. She was screaming obscenities.

Tim grabbed her arm.

“Let go of me!” She said as she pulled away and headed toward her bedroom.

“It’s not your fault!” He followed her.

She started to rip stuff off the shelves. She made a tight fist and punched the wall again and again.

“Hey hey hey…” Tim cautioned, pulling her away. “If you need to punch something, punch me.”

But she didn’t stop. So he put himself in front of her and absorbed all her punches.

“I could’ve taken that guy!” She screamed. “I did this to him! I’m the reason Jackson’s in the ICU!”

“Lucy, stop!” Tim tried to catch her fists as they started to fly straight to his chest. “Lucy-”

She started to sob.

Tim finally caught her wrists and instead of resisting, she seemed to melt into his hands, giving in fully to her cries. Tim wrapped her in his arms.

“I fucked up, Tim.” She cried, her tears soaking his shirt.

“Trashing your apartment isn’t going to help him.”

“I just have so much anger inside of me and I don’t know what to do with it.”

“I know.”

Lucy pushed away from his touch. “God, Tim, you say you know but you-“

“I know exactly what you feel. Don’t you think I was beating myself up after what happened to you?”

“Okay fine. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?” She was starting to spiral again. “How do I get my heartbeat to slow down? How do I stop-”

Tim pulled her close once more, entrapping her arms under his own. “He’s gonna be okay, Boot.”

She pulled away slightly, but kept their faces close. Maybe it was the moment. Maybe even the anger. But right then, they were kissing.

They were kissing ferociously. They were kissing as if their lives depended on it. They breathed in each other’s mouths. Tim couldn’t think straight but he had one thought, I love the way she feels on my mouth. He scooped his arms under her thighs, lifting her up and pushing her against the wall. Lucy held his head against hers and without realizing it, she was grinding her hips against his. They were sweaty and this was messy but neither gave a shit. They wanted each other.

“Shit-“ Tim hissed as she continued to squeeze her legs around his hips. “We really doing this?”

“Tim-” she huffed once she got up for air. “Bed.” She demanded.

And without a second to spare, Tim tossed her onto the bed. She sat up to continue to kiss but he stepped back to pull his shirt over his head and onto the floor. He stood between her knees as he helped her out of her own clothes. He kissed her neck and she groaned at the feeling, making him hot. He reached behind her and unclasped her bra and watched tentatively as she shimmied out of it, the straps falling off her shoulders and her breasts springing free. She was fast. She wanted it bad. But Tim so badly wanted to study every inch and every curve of her sexy body. Suddenly he felt her digging into his pants.

He crawled on top of her, their tongues at heavy battle. He tucked his hands inside her waistband and yanked off her leggings and panties all in one go. He kissed down her torso, skipping her sex and kissing her thighs. She withered like crazy.

She spread her legs for him. And for a second, he caught himself wondering what this all meant. What he wanted versus what they needed. But that line seemed to blur because all he could think was that he had to take her. And gazing at her beautiful body beneath him, impatient and begging for release, he knew she felt the same.

Tim got on his knees and pulled her to the edge of the bed. He pressed feverish kisses all over the insides of her thighs before Lucy started to claw at his head. He put his mouth on her clit, drawing a loud moan from her mouth.

He kept at it. Eating her. Tasting her. He held her thighs tight in his arms to keep her positioned against his mouth.

“Ah fuck!” She groaned.

She was wet. So wet that Tim could already feel her dripping down his chin. He looked up at her as he ate her out, finding her eyes clenched shut as she tried to thrash around. And just the sound of her moaning had him riling up. He pulled his underwear down and started to stroke himself as he pleasured her. He stuck his tongue inside her and she almost came immediately. He could feel all that built up anger start to pulse. He knew her blood was rushing. He could feel her giving in.

He crawled on top of Lucy, who was immediately looking for his touch again. Tim slipped a finger into her cunt, massaging her clit with his thumb. He groaned out how warm she felt around his finger. So wet. And she was writhing again. Wildly. Moaning into his ear. He sucked on what he found to be a sensitive area below her ear, working her towards her much-needed orgasm. And soon, she was bucking her hips to meet his fingers. Tim slid a second finger inside, fucking her faster until she was moaning through her teeth. And she came, going silent for seconds before absolutely falling apart beneath him.

He continued to finger fuck her until she could finish milking her climax. As she came down, Lucy reached down to her pussy and met Tim’s hand in massaging her, feeling how wet his hand was because of her. She whimpered quietly at the feeling. And though she was euphoric in that state, she knew they weren’t done.

Lucy threw Tim’s hand away and quickly flipped over onto her stomach. She got on her knees and stretched herself back until her ass fell right up against Tim’s torso. Tim squeezed her ass in his hand, spreading her cheeks wide to get a clear path.

“You good?” Tim said, stroking his cock against her entrance.

“Yeah,” Lucy choked out. She got up on her elbows and whipped her neck back. “Yeah, fuck m-“

But before she could finish her sentence, he was inside her. He plunged himself into her warm, wet pussy in one easy motion that almost immediately sent him over the edge. They both groaned in unison. Tim had never been famous for being any bit vocal in bed but nothing about fucking Lucy Chen could keep him quiet. He moaned as every inch of him filled her. He could hardly breathe as he felt her walls tighten around him. The sound of his arousal stemming straight from his throat and echoing off the walls of her bedroom.

Lucy moved her hips feverishly, pounding her ass against him and letting out a cry of pleasure. “Harder,” she begged, her voice hoarse.

Tim held her hips in place and he started pounding into her. She met him halfway, throwing her back out which only made Tim go faster. _Holy shit._

Her breath started to hitch. Tim leaned down, scooped an arm under her stomach and pulled her back against his chest. He sat on his ankles and for a second, watching her ride him before entangling his fingers in her long, wavy hair. Pulling her hair back, he sucked and bit at the skin around the nape of her neck, earning him harsher moans from his partner.

Lucy was going to come soon. He could feel her. She was starting to pulsate around his dick. He kept one arm tight around her chest, his thumb rubbing circles around her hard nipples, and the other hand reaching for her clit. When he started massaging her clit once more, she gasped. She put her hand around his neck to keep her there as she neared her orgasm.

“Oh fuck, that feels so-“ she barely choked out before biting down hard on her lower lip, rendering her completely silent. Tim felt her tightening around his dick. And as the wave hit her, she let out a loud groan. She was almost screaming. “Ahhhh-”

This immediately sent Tim over the edge. He spilled inside her before he could even realize he was about to come. They were both left gasping for air. He thrusted in and out of her a couple more times before pulling out.

Lucy fell to her elbows, holding her sweaty face in her hands. Lying on her stomach for a minute, she then rolled over and found Tim struggling to catch his breath. Lucy looked at him hazy eyed. She hadn’t quite returned from her high yet. Neither had Tim. He smoothed his hand slowly down her back and over her ass. Leaning down, he pressed a long kiss on her shoulder.

“Tim,” she whispered as his lips left her skin. They sat there in silence for a minute, lying breathlessly at either side of the bed. Lucy pulled the blanket over her naked body. She spoke up again, “we just did something really bad…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr is jane-gloriana-villanueva.tumblr.com


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if nothing ever will change?  
> Oh I'm caught between your love and a hard place  
> Oh I wish there was a right way

Tim was speechless. He never thought he’d end up having sex with Lucy like this. He thought if they were ever to finally sleep together, it would be passionate and romantic. Their sexual tension has been on high ever since… Ever since they met. He didn’t think doing it with her would be so unprecedented, so raw and fueled by anger. He never imagined them being so rough. Tim wanted to take his time, he wanted to kiss every inch of her, make her feel good… But instead, they fucked each other senseless.

He sat on the edge of the bed and turned around to see Lucy still looking at him, dumbfounded. She was still--especially wrapped thinly in her blanket--incredibly sexy. He couldn’t help but gape at her. She tried to quiet herself but gasped to catch her breath anyway. Her cheeks were flushed. The rest of her body glistened from the sweat from having such intense sex and all Tim wanted to do was kiss her some more.

“I thought it was really good.” He finally responded, half-smiling.

Lucy’s mouth started to curve but she bit down on her lower lip to keep from smiling. She returned a serious look. “Tim-” she started but he kept smiling and it pissed her off. “Yeah, it was pretty good.”

He smirked, lying in bed next to her, pulling her back against his chest. She giggled softly in response. He pulled her hair over one shoulder and kissed her neck again. Lucy’s eyes started to flutter closed. She threw her head back, turning to kiss Tim’s ears as he sucked on her throat. His hands were on her body. All over, trying to feel every inch of her intimately. She moaned softly as his hands found her sex. He pressed his palm hard against her and she started to grind her ass against his hardening dick once more.

It was exhilarating.

It was sexy.

But it had to stop.

Lucy opened her eyes. She was in bed with Tim? She jolted forward, putting her hand on top of his and brushing him away. Although the loss of contact made her sigh. She pulled away from him and sat on the edge of the bed, her back toward him, and she cleared her throat.

“You should go.” She said under her breath.

“Wait, Lucy I-” Tim started but cut himself off. What was he supposed to say?

Lucy got up and grabbed her silk robe from her dresser. She put it on, tying herself in tightly and letting her long hair cover her chest as she walked over to get the rest of her discarded clothes. She tried not to look at Tim as she passed him. She couldn’t bear it.

She turned her back to him so she couldn’t see his face as she said, “we shouldn’t have done that.”

 _We_ really _shouldn’t have done that._

“Which time?” Tim asked.

“Both times.”

Lucy left the room and went into the kitchen. She pulled a glass from the shelf in the kitchen and poured herself some water. She could still taste him on her lips. How could she have slept with Tim? She took a sip and let out a shaky breath. And when she turned around, she saw him standing there, clothed, glowingly handsome, and with a look of concern.

“Look,” she said, setting her glass on the counter before crossing her arms. “I was under a lot of stress. I was angry. And we were fueled by adrenaline and really intense emotions. Just two consenting adults acting on a biological response to our anger-”

“Okay, Lucy, not everything needs a psych eval.”

She might’ve relaxed earlier, having released serotonin while in bed with him, but she couldn’t hide her distress now.

“Are you okay?” Tim asked as he stepped toward her.

She faltered her glance. She didn’t know.

Tim touched her elbow and she shuddered; his touch was just as alluring out here as it was in bed. He caught her glance and held it there, not letting her eyes shift even for a second.

“I really care about you, Luce, and I know you feel the same.” Tim said. “This wasn’t random and you know that.”

“We can’t, Tim.” She told him, her heart breaking as his words echoed in her head.

They had never had this conversation out loud, but it was always something they mutually understood as they started getting closer. The past year has been hard. As soon as Lucy graduated her probationary period and Tim was no longer her TO, there seemed to be a window for them to finally start something. They started hanging out more. He missed her as his shotgun when he did his patrol. He missed spending his entire day with her. She did too. But every time they got closer and closer, a part of them had to pull back.

“Tell me you don’t want to see where this goes and I’ll leave.” Tim propositioned.

Lucy shook her head. “Don’t do that.” She put her face in her hand and exhaled deeply. “This was just sex. I needed to get it out of my system, okay? It was a mistake that can’t happen again. So you need to go. I can’t have you waking up with me.”

Her words were a dagger in his heart. But the tone in which she said them was entirely contradictory. She wanted him too, maybe even more than he did, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t want him. Tim knew and maybe he was being selfish. He had to back down.

“I’ll see you in the morning then…” He said.

Lucy nodded, turning away to keep from having to see his face. She couldn’t watch him leave. She couldn’t bear to see if he looked back at her as he walked away.

The door shut loud on its hinges. She didn’t need to look; he was gone.

Lucy went back to her bed. She felt too ashamed to take off her robe but when she crawled back between her covers, the smell of sex was undeniable. She could smell him on her sheets and images of his soft touch flashed through her mind, taunting her. She put her hands over her face, forcing herself to close her eyes and not think about Tim.

***

The next morning, Lucy opened her eyes to find she had hardly slept. She had lied there for the short remainder of the night in half-consciousness. And before she could get any sort of rest, her alarm went off.

She stepped into the shower and sighed as the hot water rained down her back. She needed a fresh start. A clean slate. _Last night didn’t happen._

Lucy drove to the station. She kept the music on high. She sang along to keep her mind from slipping. She focused on the road, on the song. And when she got inside, she hummed the song again and again in her head as she headed towards the locker room, keeping her head down, praying she wouldn’t run into Tim on her way.

Harper and Lopez were already in the locker room getting into uniform. Lucy was usually in before them and only ever really passed them on her way out. She felt her nerves starting to kick in as they noticed her come in.

“Hey, Chen. You doing alright?” Angela said as she buttoned her shirt. “Heard you took quite a hit yesterday.”

Lucy forced a smile. “You guys talk to Grey or something?”

“No. Jackson.” Nyla said. And before Lucy could form a single word, she explained, “Lopez and I were at the hospital this morning to check on him. He’s awake. He was able to talk to us, talk to the detectives.”

Lucy sighed with relief. “Any word on when he’ll be released?”

“He might be in there for a while. He just had some mad surgery.” Angela said. “But when he does get out, I think Sterling’s gonna take him to his and you know, make sure he’s taken care of there. Jackson can finally take advantage of that superstar money.”

“Deserves it after what he’s been through. No offence, Chen, but your guys’ apartment isn’t really idyllic for his recovery.” Nyla said.

“Sterling’s got a pool for when Jackson starts physical therapy, not to mention a home theatre with lazyboyz and a fully stocked bar. Kinda wish I took the bullet because damn...”

Angela and Nyla were right. And Lucy, for the life of her, couldn’t understand why Jackson still lived in the apartment with her. Sure he and Sterling had been broken up for a while but they had been back together now for a month. Jackson had told her they needed to start over but given the couple’s history, Lucy so wrongly assumed Jackson would move out.

“Anyway, Jackson’s gonna be out for a while. And lucky you, you get a new partner.” Nyla said. “I talked to Grey. He doesn’t think after what happened that you should be on patrol alone today.”

“I hope that’s not because he all of a sudden questions my judgement.” She wouldn’t blame him if that was the reason though. And by the look of her fellow officers’ faces, she kind of understood that it was. “Okay so I’m riding with you?”

“No, you’re with Tim today.” Nyla said, closing her locker shut.

Lucy’s heartbeat accelerated at just the sound of his name. “Why Tim? Why not one of you guys?”

“You know we don’t get a say.”

“Did you leave your poker face at home, Officer Chen? You look terrified.” Angela said.

Lucy hadn’t realized but her face was all kinds of anxious.

“Getting PTSD from your days as a rookie?” Angela laughed, nudging Nyla. “You ain’t a boot anymore, don’t sweat it. It’s gonna be different with Tim now.”

They left her in the locker room to get into uniform. When Lucy was finally left alone, she started to breathe heavily. She started to sweat. She remembered her background in psychology to calm down. Cognitive exercises. Breathe. She had planned to go about her day like last night didn’t happen but how could she when she’ll be two feet away from Tim Bradford all day?

Lucy sat with Nolan at roll call as usual. He asked if she was okay and although she knew his question was really concerning the altercation of the day before with Jackson, she got paranoid he knew something. _Nothing happened._ She told Nolan she was fine and they agreed to visit Jackson in the hospital after shift. All the while she was chronically aware Tim was sitting right behind her like he always did.

“Okay that’s it for me. Be safe out there.” Sgt. Grey said before all the officers got up and made their way out.

Lucy got up slowly, seeing Tim approach her in her peripheral vision.

_Oh God, he’s fucking seen me naked. More than that..._

She pursed her lips and kept a straight face. It was time to work. She looked at him, his stare pretty much blank, and she walked away to grab the war bags and set up the shop.

They got into the car; Tim driving, and Lucy in the passenger seat just like old times. They didn’t speak a word to each other as they pulled out of the station. They hit the streets of LA, circling around a neighbourhood near downtown. Lucy kept her eye on the cars, looking for any expired plate numbers, She waited for the first call of the day.

_“7-Adam-15, requesting back up at Vineland Ave. Shots fired, 2 possible gunmen.”_

Lucy put her hand on the radio. Tim stopped her.

“No, we’re not going.” He said sternly. It had been the first thing he’d said to her since the night before.

“They need backup.” Lucy protested.

“Easy calls only today, Chen.”

“By who’s orders? Grey’s?”

“My orders.”

“What the hell, Tim?” She furrowed her brow, her hand still on the radio. “So what? Now that you’ve slept with me you don’t want me fighting the big fights?”

“You got a mild concussion.” Tim raised his voice, not enough to yell at her but enough that it reminded her of her rookie days. Except now, instead of being a smug pain in her ass like before, he sounded genuinely concerned for her wellbeing.

Lucy picked up the radio. “7-Adam-19 responding.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys hope to see happen between Lucy and Tim?
> 
> Tumblr is jane-gloriana-villanueva and my messages are always open :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And if I have to choose  
> My heart or you  
> I'm gonna lose

Despite Tim’s concern (if you could even call it concern) neither him nor Lucy were shot or even bruised by the time they hit lunch. He didn’t want to make a point. He didn’t want to assert his dominance as her superior. He did, however, want to keep away from heavy duty for today and he would be lying if he said it had nothing to do with the night before. He didn’t know what got into him; his dying need to serve and protect. He wasn’t lying last night either. He did have feelings for Lucy. But he had to remind himself that she said no. He needed to accept that Lucy didn’t feel the same way.

They breaked for lunch at their usual spot. And by their usual spot, it was the place the whole gang frequents for some good tacos and falafel. Angela, Nyla, and John were all already there sitting at one table eating tacos and talking a bit. John noticed Tim and Lucy pull up and waved as they walked toward the rest of the group.

“No falafel today.” Angela said as they approached.

“You poor thing.” Lucy joked. “What did you get instead?”

“Chicken on the rocks. Fancy, I know.”

Lucy smiled, turning a heel in the direction of the Mexican food truck. Tim followed her. He could feel her resentment. She didn’t even have to look back for him to know that she was a mixed bag of emotions. So he wanted a burrito bowl too? So what?

“Two burrito bowls. One beef and one vegetarian.” Lucy orders, speaking loud enough for the guy at the window to hear her.

Tim smiled. “You remembered.”

Lucy shrugged. “Of course. Still sometimes have nightmares about when I’d forget.”

“C’mon, I was never that hard on you.”

“You were pretty anal.” She laughed.

And he laughed. And it was nice. He hated the tension that had been built between them. On any other day, if they had been paired together again, this would be a fun shift. As fun as busting criminals can be. But it was true. They had become good friends. Tim, thinking back on the morning they had, wondered if they had ruined their friendship.

They waited for their food in silence; the moment had gone and passed and there was nothing else they could really talk about without being completely disingenuine.

“Hey, uhm,” Tim spoke up. Lucy’s eyes shot up at him. His voice was low and shaky. “Before we get back on the streets, do we need to go to the pharmacy?”

Lucy furrowed her brows at him.

Tim looked from left to right to make sure no one was in earshot. He leaned down and said softly, “do you need, like, plan B or something?”

“What?”

“You know, last night, I wasn’t wearing a condom and I-”

“Oh God,” she said under her breath, turning away. “No, I have an IUD.”

Tim nodded, stepping back. The food truck guy handed them their burritos. Tim started to head back but Lucy stopped him, clearing her throat.

“Listen,” Lucy said. “Tim, if you tell anyone about what we did…”

He could hear the panic in her voice. “You know I wouldn’t do that. I won’t bring it up again. I don’t want you to keep hating me.”

“I don’t hate you.” She muttered. “I’m just-- it’s a lot, okay? I’m-” She paused for a second but couldn’t finish her sentence.

***

Lucy sighed a huge sigh of relief when shift was over. Riding with Tim today… It was fine. It was fine. She even told Angela as such when she asked later in the locker room. Two illegal possessions of narcotics, an unregistered firearm, an arrest for public indecency, and a harmless noise complaint. She handled the paperwork, which usually would've been her least favourite part of the job but it was nice to be alone and focus on something else. She later hit the showers, taking off her underwear and bra, thinking back to when Tim was the one who…

She shook the memory out of her brain. _You didn’t sleep with Tim._

She got dressed into some sweats before meeting John outside.

“Hospital?” She asked.

“As promised.” John said.

Lucy and John had slept together. Hell, they were in a relationship a while back. And never did it feel _this_ weird between them. It was never this hard to be around John. They worked flawlessly together. Lucy sometimes even forgot about their history. It was easy to get over John… But maybe the reason why she felt so anxious about her time with Tim was because he meant more to her than John ever did. Tim was her superior. Tim was her friend. Tim was…

Confused. _I’m confused,_ is what she was going to tell him earlier before she cut herself off.

She and John reached Jackson’s room at the hospital. The pit in Lucy’s stomach doubled in size when she saw him there, lying in bed, his head and arm all bandaged up. But he was awake and smiling when she walked in. Like nothing had happened.

“Hey you.” She said, forcing a smile on her face to match his.

“What? No flowers?” Jackson said, raising his hands.

Lucy laughed, sitting on a chair on his bedside. She took his hands in her own and held them gently. “Survive being buried alive by a sadistic serial killer and maybe we can talk about getting you a bouquet.”

“And a bear.” John added.

Jackson laughed softly before resting his head back onto the pillow. He breathed deeply, closing his eyes for a second before opening them again to Lucy’s remorseful expression.

“Don’t.” Jackson said, sensing the waterworks.

“Jackson, I’m so so sorry.” Lucy said almost in a whimper.

“You need to stop that right now, Luce. It’s just an occupational hazard. I’m fine.”

“I feel awful.”

“I know.”

The two of them sat there, exchanging tears. The whole situation was overwhelming. They could have lost each other. The incident with that gangbanger could have ended in a million other ways, half of which could have ended in them both getting killed. Lucy couldn’t help but regret that she didn’t put up a good enough fight.

John stood, announcing he would go find a vending machine and grab some snacks. Once he was gone, Jackson changed the subject.

“Anyway, please talk to me about something, literally anything other than police work.”

 _I fucked Tim._ She wanted to tell her best friend. There was virtually no one on this earth except Tim that she could really talk to about this. And she was for sure not talking to Tim--possibly ever again. All she wanted to do was tell Jackson. Ask for his thoughts. Ask him what on earth she was supposed to do. But she couldn’t.

“I miss you at home.” Was all she could manage.

“You now have the place to yourself, at least. A real bachelorette pad. You can bring a guy home and I won’t be there to judge.”

She clenched her teeth. “Then who will clap for me during my walk of shame?”

Jack smiled wide. “That was a fun morning.”

Six months ago, Lucy had gone out on a date. Wesley knew someone and Angela begged her to let him set them up. Ever since she was kidnapped, she hadn’t been going on a lot of dates. She had trauma and no amount of cognitive exercises or exposure therapy could get her dating comfortably again. But Angela had been persuasive. The guy was someone Wesley knew and he vouched for. “The man doesn’t even have a parking ticket.” He had told her. The guy was vetted. He was advocated for. And for some reason, she trusted Angela and Wes.

The date went smoothly. He wasn’t a serial killer. That was obvious. Even though he was promised to be harmless, Lucy couldn’t help but attempt to psychoanalyze him. The guy was nice. He gave good conversation and seemed to be really smart. Not to mention he was really good-looking. So when he drove her home, she invited him up for a nightcap.

And for the record, Lucy hadn’t had sex in a long time.

He was a gentleman. They had made out for a while in her room before he even tried to undress her, which she eventually did herself quite willingly. The sex itself was fine. Missionary. Gentle. And the only reason she was able to orgasm was because she hadn’t had sex in so long. Otherwise, it was pretty boring. And when they finished, she sensed the guy wasn’t too into it either. So he kissed her goodnight, said they should see each other again, and went home.

The next morning Lucy walked out of her room to see Jackson on the couch clapping.

“I’m just happy you finally let yourself get laid.” He’d said, still clapping.

She rolled her eyes. “Please tell me you didn’t hear anything.”

“Not a sound.”

“Good, ‘cause there was nothing to hear.” Lucy closed her eyes, mortified.

A month later, Angela told her that the guy had gotten back together with his ex. Lucy remained indifferent; she knew the minute he left that their date would be reduced to a one night stand and nothing more.

Lucy got caught in the memory for a moment, comparing her night with Wes’ friend to Tim. Something had been so electric between them. It was probably just the moment, she thought.

“Take advantage of having the apartment to yourself.” Jackson said, sitting up in his bed. “And I don’t mean breaking out your diffusers and essential oils and having some lame yoga party.”

They laughed together. Then a nurse came in, saying she had to change Jackson’s bandages. Lucy bid him farewell, promising to return with breakfast from Kreation in the morning.

She got into her 1977 Datsun and started to drive home. But she couldn’t get her mind off one thing.

_“I don’t want you to keep hating me.”_

Lucy felt a lot of things for Tim but hate was not one of them. Not anymore. Not ever. And for the first time, she let herself really think about what happened the night before. As she drove, she replayed every second. She could almost feel him touching her again. She remembered where he was able to take her, how she at some points felt like she was soaring. How it felt to kiss him, how it felt to be kissed by him. And just the thought alone had her stomach stirring.

Before she knew it, Lucy found herself parked outside Tim’s house.

She took a deep breath and walked over to his front porch. She could see his lights were still on so she rang the bell, immediately hearing Kujo starting to bark. Her heart began to race. _What the hell am I doing?_

“Uh hey,” Tim said apprehensively as he opened the door.

Tim looked so good in his sweatpants and T-shirt.

“Hey,” she responded, immediately panicking as she realized she hadn’t a thing else to say.

“Do you wanna come in?”

She nodded, stepping inside. She fell to her knees and pet Kujo. Kujo had stopped barking and was now wagging his tail at the sight of his foster mom, smothering Lucy in sloppy puppy kisses. “Hi, baby, did you miss me as much as I missed you?” She cooed at her dog.

“He did.” Tim said.

Lucy looked up at Tim. His hands were in his pocket, standing awkwardly with his weight shifted to one leg. Lucy stood, meeting him at eye level. She tried to study his expression. She wanted to know what he was thinking… But part of her already knew. And another part of her knew she felt the same way.

“Can I get you something to drink?” He asked, gesturing toward the kitchen.

“No, I’m good I just-” Lucy shook her head. She looked back down at Kujo who was now circling around both her and Tim, pushing their stance closer together. Lucy hesitated. “Uhm, I was wondering if I could have Kujo for the night?”

Tim was taken aback. “As in you wanna take him home?”

“Uhm, yeah.” She stammered. “Jackson’s not home so I was thinking Kujo could keep me company.”

“I mean, he is your dog.”

 _Our dog,_ she wanted to say.

“Yeah of course you can take him home with you.” He looked down at Kujo lying content between them before looking back at Lucy. “I’ll just get some of his things.”

Lucy nodded and Tim went into the kitchen, leaving her and the dog in the foyer.

“This kind of feels like custody…” She heard Tim say from the kitchen.

Her heart sank to her feet and silence fell between them.

Tim came back with Kujo’s backpack. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“I know you didn’t.” Lucy said as he handed her the backpack. “Tim, I hope you know how impossible the situation is for me.”

“Lucy, I want to be with you.” He said.

“And I,” she paused and took a breath. “I want to be able to think about the possibility of us without thinking about work, without thinking about the consequences.”

“We can figure something out, boot.”

Lucy sighed. “You can’t keep calling me boot. Especially not while we’re having this conversation.”

“Fair enough.” Tim said, half-smiling. “I want to be with you, Lucy, and I don’t want to put you in an impossible situation. Last night wasn’t just sex. It wasn’t just a way for us to release endorphins after a stressful day. I’m falling for you and I know you feel the same way. So prove me wrong and tell me you don’t want to be with me.”

Lucy shook her head as a tear formed in her eye. “You know I can’t say that…”

Tim stepped forward, pulling her waist into his arms. He nuzzled his nose against hers, her eyelashes brushing his cheek as she closed her eyes. She breathed in his warm scent. _Tell him to stop,_ she scolded herself. Their hearts beat against each other. He held her close to him, steadying her as her legs wanted to give out at the feeling of his touch. There were so many problems they had to face. So many uncertainties. But at this very moment, with her in Tim’s embrace, her chest against his chest, their hearts beating as one, Lucy wanted him too.

She kept her eyes closed and her voice soft, nudging his lips towards her’s.

“Kiss me, Tim.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gUYS.  
> I made a playlist for this fic. It basically consists of songs that either inspired chapters, coincide with a storyline, or just remind me of the Lucy and Tim in my mind. So if you listen to the playlist, you might be able to spot hints but you'll never know for sure unless you keep reading. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear what you think! Tumblr is jane-gloriana-villanueva.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> baby the sound of you  
> is better than a harmony

Lucy knew what the consequences were, she knew this was bad for her, but she needed him.

Tim’s eyes sparkled. His eyes were wet as he gazed at her. He ran his hands through her hair, marveling at her beauty, before finally pressing his lips against her. She gasped in his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck as she felt his tongue brush against her’s.

She pulled her lips back and whispered, “I want you to touch me.” She took his hand and guided it between her legs. “Prove to me that I’m making the right choice.”

Tim dropped his jaw slightly, just as surprised at her fieriness as he was turned on by it. He picked her up in his arms, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, egging him on as she slowly started grinding herself against him. He moaned, smashing his mouth into hers. His hands crept under her shirt and carressed her bare back. Not letting their mouths separate, Tim blindly kicked through the house and carried her into his bedroom.

She stretched her head back so he could kiss her throat, her breath becoming shallow as he sucked on her neck. Then Tim felt a push on his leg. Looking down in the corner of his eye, he saw Kujo sitting at his feet, staring up at them. Lucy noticed too and she let out a laugh. Tim looked at Lucy, smiled, then gently placed her on the bed. He kissed her chastely before pulling back. He got up and held the door for Kujo.

“C’mon, Kujo, out!” He said to the dog. Kujo immediately ran out in the hall and Tim shut the door.

He turned back to face Lucy who was already getting undressed.

“So commanding.” She quipped, pulling her shirt off her head.

“You like that?” Tim growled as he rushed back and laid her down on the bed beneath him. “Can I?” He said, putting his hand on her bra strap. She nodded.

Tim reached behind her and unhooked the clasp. Her bra became loose on her shoulders, sitting uselessly on top of her breasts. He tucked a finger under the straps and dragged them down her arms. Lucy sat back, studying his expression. His eyes were like glass. He lowered his head to his chest, planting kisses down the valley of her breasts. He placed his lips over her nipples and sucked them boldly into erection. Lucy threw her head back and moaned. When she could think straight again, she guided her foot up the side of his leg, stopping to gently caress his hard cock over his sweatpants.

“Take these off.” She moaned, softly kicking the waistband.

“You first.”

Tim laid her down fully, tucking his hand into her pants. His hand ran over her pussy, finding her soaking in her panties. She smiled at him as he slipped his fingers between her folds, and he smiled back before pulling his hand out for her to finish undressing. He stepped back and took off his own clothes, trying not to lose sight of her as she spread herself across his bed, fully bare.

_Fuck, she’s beautiful._

He knew she didn’t mean to entice him like that, and put filthy thoughts in his head but Tim couldn’t help it.

She reached her arms out to him. He slid on top of her once more. They kissed again, slower than before but not withholding any intensity. He caressed her face as he kissed her, which was new. He was so gentle… but it was hot. He touched her with care this time, not letting a single kiss go wasted on adrenalin alone. They kept their kisses soft. It made her squirm beneath him, the way he handled her.

Tim sensed her yearning for him and began to grind between her legs, sliding the length of his dick over her center. Lucy watched then looked up hazy-eyed. She smoothed one hand over the side of his face and the other on his back, pulling him closer slightly. She didn’t need to say it. She didn’t need to ask. He pushed himself inside her, slowly filling her inch by inch. Her head tilted back further into the mattress the deeper he got inside her. He pressed his lips against her neck, his hot breath grazing her burning skin.

They fucked in a gentle rhythm. At times, she would press her hands deep in his lower back, keeping him where she wanted him for a moment, before asking him to keep going. She loved to relish the feeling of him. She loved how he’d kiss her, absorbing her moans. She loved the way he looked at her while they fucked, with such intensity and prowess, so attentive and in awe of her.

Tim’s hips quickened in pace, causing them to both groan. Lucy threw her arm over her head, searching blindly for something to hold on to. She clenched some of the duvet into her fist. A whole world of pleasure washed over her, raising her higher and higher until her breath started to shake.

“Come for me, baby.” Tim whispered, keeping the eye contact even though her eyes were rolling back.

He watched her come undone underneath him. He watched as she furrowed her brows, clenched her eyes shut, and bit down hard on her lower lip before releasing a satisfied cry. It was glorious. He followed shortly after, having been completely enamoured by how she looked as she recovered.

Tim fell to her side, kissing her shoulder and neck, his arm draped over the stomach. Lucy sighed contentedly and turned to face Tim, leaning to kiss his lips once more. They laid there for a few moments, engorged in each other’s presence, with only the sound of their incessant panting to fill their silence.

“Was I successful?” Tim asked after they had caught their breath. He was met with a furrowed brow. He grinned, explaining, “was I able to prove to you that you were choosing right?”

Lucy laughed. She caught him off guard and pushed him onto his back. She straddled him, each knee on either side of his torso. She sat on his lap and let her hair cascade over her shoulders as she hovered over him. She grinded slightly against his abs, her clit still sensitive from coming. She bit her lip and marveled at Tim’s smile as he awaited her response.

“Yeah, you were.” Lucy said. She carved the contours of his abs with a soft finger, humming moans against pressed lips. “But I’m not _choosing_ you over my career. I’m choosing to be here with you right now though.”

He reached up and touched her face. “I don’t want you choosing me over your career.”

She sighed into a warm smile. Her lips curved only at the edges. She didn’t want to think about what all this meant, what the consequences were, but it was starting to eat at her. She was coming down from her high and simmering back into reality. It was a scary place to be. All Lucy wanted to do in that moment was stay with him like that, study his features more intimately than she ever had before. But again, she wasn’t choosing.

She climbed off him and collected her clothes from the floor. “It’s getting late; I better head out.”

Tim sat up. “No, don’t do that again.”

“I’m not,” she turned to kiss him.

“Why don’t you spend the night?” He said as their lips parted. “We can go for round two before shut eye then I can make you breakfast in the morning. ”

She stepped into her panties and put her shirt back on. Tim took the cue and did the same. “I already promised Jackson I’d bring him Kreation in the morning.” She told him.

“So you can’t sleep here and bring him an açai bowl when you wake up?”

“Tim,” she started. She sat down next to him. “If we sleep together, like _really_ sleep, and wake up together, then it becomes this real… _thing._ And given what this all means for me, what I’m jeopardizing, I’m not ready to take it there.”

Tim nodded. “And what does it mean?”

“I’m also not ready to have that conversation.” She said. “I’m sorry.”

“Take your time. Just know that I’m not gonna let this hurt your career in any way. I’ll figure something out.”

She turned a heel, opening the door to see Kujo lying just outside it. He got up when he saw her and she kneeled down to pet him. “You ready to go, buddy?” She sang happily.

“Wait, you’re still taking Kujo home with you?” Tim said walking over to them, crossing his arms. “I thought that was just an excuse to come see me.”

“That was definitely the first thing I came up with.” Lucy shrugged. “Seriously though, with Jackson out of the house I can finally have Kujo running around without scaring any roommates.”

They walked back into the foyer together. Lucy slung his backpack over her shoulder and put Kujo on his leash. Tim and Lucy hovered around the door, exchanging glances, not saying a word. It hadn’t fully registered in her mind, the gravity of her actions, but they were bound to kick in soon. For now, however, she cherished his presence.

“I’ll swing by tomorrow to get him then.” Tim said.

“Uh no way, it’s the weekend. He’s staying with me.”

“Okay but maybe that’s my excuse to see you. Tomorrow?”

Lucy pursed her lips. “Fine.”

She didn’t kiss him goodbye. She didn’t give him a proper goodnight. She didn’t relish his glowing face as the moonlight hit him through the open door. But she wanted to. She also didn’t want to complicate things between them, running the risk of moving too fast and haphazardly. So she left into the night, letting Kujo guide the way back to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLAYLIST FOR THIS FIC https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW
> 
> Please let me know what you think!!! Find me at jane-gloriana-villanueva.tumblr.com if you wanna chat. Messages always open :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little flashback to Angela and Wesley's wedding.
> 
> Will you wait for me?  
> My evergreen

It had been about five months since Angela and Wesley’s wedding.

The ceremony was beautiful. They married in the study of Wes’ family home. It was kept intimate with only some family from both sides and a few friends and colleagues in attendendance. Doting guests all sat close together in a dimly lit room with wall to wall shelves of classic literature. A bed of miscellaneous flower petals scattered on the floor made for Angela’s aisle, where she walked down so beautifully with so much love in her eyes.

Lucy had gone with Jackson. He was fresh from a breakup with Sterling and she, for all she knew, was going to be forever single. Since graduating from being rookies, she and Jackson got closer to Angela. Lucy even considered her to be her friend and was elated to be asked to attend. At the wedding, she had also been reunited with Talia Bishop, who had been MIA for the most part since leaving Mid-Wilshire.

Lucy sat with the rest of her colleagues in the back of the room, smiling on as Angela and Wes exchanged vows. Angela had turned into Bridezilla in the weeks leading up to her big day. She stressed about all the little details. Now, watching the night unfold, Lucy knew everything was all that Angela had dreamed of. The night was perfect in every way.

The Evers wedding had also been where Tim and Lucy shared their first kiss.

The lawn draped with hanging lights and gorgeous bouquets of peonies made for an undoubtedly romantic outdoor wedding reception. The live band played soft jazz and seemed to push hearts together. A night dedicated to love, perhaps there was no other road for Lucy and her former T.O.

After watching Wes sweep Angela off her feet during their first dance, seeing her smile and cry at the same time as he looked at her like nothing else mattered, Lucy stepped back inside. Her excuse was she wanted to touch up her makeup; it had been an emotional evening after all. But truth be told, she just needed a second.

As she passed the kitchen, she saw an unattended bottle of wine. She scoured the room for a clean glass before pouring herself some. She thought she would be sad to be at the wedding alone but she wasn’t. Not really. She was okay. Lucy found herself having fun, enjoying the night with her colleagues, catching up with Talia, and getting to know Angela’s family. There were only some moments that she would unwittingly sink back into her loneliness. But she managed to brush it off when she remembered the company she had.

Lucy sipped her wine. She was by herself, leaning on the marble island, with the music from outside faintly playing in her ears. She needed a break from the crowd.

“You planning on bringing that bottle back to Table 6 for us, boot?”

She heard his voice, which was so distinctly his, and turned around slowly as if she’d been caught. She was met with a smile. It was that Tim smile, the one that made her remember how great of a guy he actually was. It was the smile he only gave her, the sympathetic, the ‘I got you’ smile.

“No, sir, this is for me.” She said, lifting the half-empty bottle of red wine and waving it at him. “But now that you’re here I guess we can share. You just have to promise not to tell.”

“Deal,” he stepped forward. He found a glass and held it out for her. She looked at him hesitantly before tilting the bottle, filling his glass halfway. “Thanks. Cheers.”

She clicked her glass against his.

“So do you want to tell me why you’re hiding in here?” Tim asked, putting his glass against his lower lip and taking a slow sip.

She shrugged and shook her head. “Needed to recharge, I guess.”

“Got tired of all the single guys out there hitting on you?”

“Shut up, no they’re not.”

“Oh come on, Lucy, give me a break. One of Angela’s cousins straight up asked you for a dance.”

“He was just trying to be nice.” She felt herself starting to blush. “But anyway, he would have ran for the hills once he learned I was Angela’s co-worker.”

“With Angela Lopez as the guy’s cousin, I don’t think he is intimidated by women of authority.” Tim said.

“Still, I was told not to date civilians; no one wants a partner whose job it is to be caught in a line of fire. Luckily for me, I was also told not to date cops.” She took a long sip of her wine and said, “you know, I dated John?”

Tim almost choked on his wine. “Nolan? When?”

“In the academy. Then a month or so when we were rookies. We kept it a secret, we snuck around, but Talia found out and she warned me about how I would be branded for sleeping with another cop. That I’ll spend the rest of my career having to prove myself, prove my worth, while being constantly judged.

She didn’t have to tell me. I knew the risk, which was why we kept it a secret. But I don’t know, I liked being with him. I had to choose.”

She didn’t mean to offload like that. Lucy never thought she would tell Tim any of this. A part of her knew it was the alcohol talking, but maybe it had something to do with being at a wedding. A wedding that reminded her of what she might want one day. Or because talking to Tim just felt so easy.

“I’m sorry. Was it a hard breakup?” Tim asked, shifting his weight to one leg.

Lucy thought back to when they ended things. How she was saved by her strong front but secretly struggled inside to regain her self-worth, especially after hooking up with him again weeks later. “Yeah,” she admitted. “It took me a while.”

“And now?”

Lucy smiled, and shook her head. “I’m happy for them. He was always my friend first.”

John and Grace were perfect for each other. What Lucy shared with him wasn’t for the long run and they both knew that. At the time, Lucy had liked the company. She liked being with someone who understood what she was going through at work. But they were always better friends than lovers. So yes, she was happy for him and Grace. And even happier when they announced their engagement.

“Did Isabel ever..?” She asked, trailing off as she heard her own words. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

He gave her a reassuring look. “It’s worse when you’re a rookie. It was clear that people were looking at her differently than all the other female cops. Once she started doing undercover, she moved to a different department, it got better, and we got married.” He explained, rubbing the back of his neck and looking slightly off into the distance. “It got hard to separate work and home and… Well, you know.”

Lucy nodded sympathetically. A love life seemed impossible for her. She set her glass down and exhaled the thought. “Anyway, I’ve accepted the fact that I’m gonna be single for a while.”

He leaned back onto the island like her, his elbows on the counter, glancing at her without losing a beat. “Do you still get anxious when a guy approaches you? Because you shouldn’t. I’m keeping an eye on every guy that comes near you and my instincts are better now.”

She sighed. “You don’t have to do that anymore.”

Lucy knew he felt guilty. He never said it out loud to her before but he definitely showed it with his actions. In the six months since it happened, Tim Bradford was always there for her. He checked in on her often. When he thought he was pestering her too much about it, he asked for updates from Jackson. Was she still having nightmares? When she came home from therapy, did she look like it helped or did she look miserable from having to talk through her feelings? And of course, Jackson couldn’t not tell Lucy that her T.O. was constantly asking about her. It surprised her to an extent. Tim had a good heart, she knew that, but he cared more than anyone else.

“But it did feel kinda nice to be called beautiful tonight. You know, by someone credible.” Lucy said, sighing.

“You are, by the way.”

She looked up at him as he said it, blushing red as a tomato once again.

“What about you?” Lucy cleared her throat and took another sip of wine. “Being at a wedding, does it bring you back?”

“A little. No bad memories though; it was a long time ago.”

“That’s good... I’m glad.”

They sat in the middle of the kitchen together. The sound of the band in the garden loud enough for them to still hear but quiet enough for Lucy to feel her heart beating like a bass drum.

“We’ve got a good thing going don’t we, Tim? I like that you’re not this smug hard-ass anymore. At least not when we’re off duty.”

“Maybe it’s time to bring it back then.” He said, chuckling.

She pushed him lightly, laughing along with him.

His eyes seem to get caught in her smile. The same way he’d been doing all night, distracted by utmost awe. He settled his laughter and said,“I mean it, though. You do look really beautiful tonight.”

She looked down. His gaze was so well-meaning and the way Lucy wanted to look at him wasn’t something she could allow herself to do. “Thanks,” she murmured, her cheeks burning.

Lucy was definitely tipsy now. She felt the alcohol tingling in her bloodstream. The glass of wine she was sharing with Tim had to be her third, and that was on top of all the champagne and the celebratory shots they took with Angela and Wes. She blamed the open bar. She blamed the romantic night. She blamed Tim.

She finished her glass of wine, not realizing she had downed the last few sips in response to Tim’s compliment.

Tim took the bottle and stepped forward. He stood so close that their feet were barely touching. Lucy’s breath started to quiver. She held her glass out for him, watched him closely as he poured. He tilted the bottle back upright and looked at her, not stepping back, not saying a word. His face was so close, she thought. And it kept getting closer. They were both leaning in, so easily and naturally that it felt as simple as gravity.

Their lips touched. They were kissing.

She felt his hand wrap around her waist, felt his tongue swipe her lower lip. She found herself holding onto his shoulders. Their lips were pressed up against each other. It had happened so fast.

She pulled back, having not known how long they’d been kissing or if anyone saw. Her startled jolt made her lose grip of her wine glass. It fell from her fingers and shattered on the table. She stepped back before any of the red could stain her dress, absolutely in shock.

“Shit,” she swore, watching the wine stream down the white countertop.

She looked up at Tim who just watched her with an expression she found familiar but never quite seen before. She didn’t know what he was thinking but she could tell he didn’t regret kissing her. But he didn’t say a word. He just looked at her. He looked at her like he loved her maybe.

They stood there in silence. Their hearts, unbeknownst to each other, beating almost through their chests. The wine trickled onto the floor, creating a small puddle between them.

She opened her mouth but she didn’t know what to say. And Tim. He just stood there like he was saying a million things without even having to speak a single word.

She had been so focused on him that it took her a second to realize her name was being called.

“Lucy. Lucy, you’re on!”

She whipped her head back and saw Jackson at the door.

“MC just announced. You promised Angela you’d sing.” Jackson gestured for her to come with him.

“Oh I-” she stammered. She looked at the wine on the floor, then at Tim, then back at Jackson who was growing impatient. Without allowing herself a chance to think, she quickly shuffled over to Jackson who took her hand and pulled her outside.

“Lucy, wait-” Tim called.

But she had already gone.

“And now, please welcome Lucy Chen to the stage.” He heard the MC say into the mic. The sheer sound of her name brought him back to just moments before. The moment they shared.

Tim stepped back outside, wine in hand, and watched Lucy as she climbed onto the small stage. He walked up to their table but didn’t sit down; he just couldn’t keep his eyes off her. Her brown hair shining so beautifully under the spotlights, curled and swept to one shoulder. Her olive green dress hugging her curves and falling elegantly before her ankles. She held the microphone on the stand. Though she looked mystified from where he stood, she was beautiful.

She appeared to compose herself before speaking into the mic.

“Hey everyone, I’m Lucy. My friend Angela asked me to sing something at her wedding and uh,” she took a calming breath and looked over to Angela and Wesley sitting at their table, who were smiling at her. “And this is for you guys.”

She took another deep breath with her face away from the mic. No one would hear it. No one would have even noticed she was nervous, but Tim did. He watched her shake the anxiety off her shoulders before taking the mic back in her grasp.

The band started with a vibing beat before she finally opened her mouth. The sound that came out was angelic.

_I kissed my penny and I threw it in_

The bass guitar joined, and soon, so did the backup singers with the harmonies. But all Tim could hear was her. Lucy’s incredible voice. She had been nervous just seconds earlier but now commanded her audience with such ease. Her eyes closed, her hair gorgeously swaying from side to side as she vibed with the beat. She captivated everyone but especially Tim.

_Oh, I can't see_   
_The forest_   
_for the trees_

As she riffed along, her voice started sounding like a kind of prayer.

 _“So will you wait for me?”_ She sang.

Tim’s heart strings were being pulled at. After being beaten and damaged, cut loose and frayed, he felt them tether to Lucy. She had been his constant and he was her’s. He saw all the light in the world in her. When he had a hard day at work, all he wanted was to come to her door and just melt from the sight of her smiling at him.

_Will you wait for me?_   
_Will you wait for me?_   
_My evergreen_

But he had to wait… and maybe that actually meant waiting for something that may never be.

While Angela and Wes were exchanging vows, Lucy and Tim exchanged glances. They hadn’t meant to feel what they felt, and the words of love and promise dug at this burden as they listened to them. They sat right next to each other, their shoulders brushed against each other, listening to their friends promise their love to each other. He had never felt so close to her. He watched her all night, falling deeper and deeper in love as the sun began to set. Tim felt something different for Lucy, something he’d never felt before. It was a tension he felt deep in his stomach, one that made his heart ache. But he couldn’t be with his rookie. And that’s when he couldn’t feel farther from her.

_I know it's just as hard in heaven_   
_So will you wait for me?_

She sang out the last note and it was almost like she was singing for him and only him. The crowd burst into applause, reminding him that they were a whole sea of people apart. Lucy bowed her head slightly, faintly smiling before she blew a kiss to Angela.

Lucy stepped off stage and walked back over to the table. Tim’s heart raced as she approached. She avoided his gaze. She rubbed her elbow, taking her praise with unnecessary modesty. She glanced at Tim and he caught her stare. And now she couldn’t look away. He almost looked apologetic.

“Lucy,” he said.

She waited for him to say something, anything. She didn’t know what she wanted to hear, or what she didn’t want to hear. But Tim just stood there, his face remorseful, his weight evenly distributed on both feet, unable to say anything more. There was something bigger between them. It wasn’t the wine. It wasn’t the romantic music or the night’s sentiments. And that reality is what frightened them.

Lucy whispered, “I know…”

And that was the last time they would speak of that first kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is "Evergreen" by Yebba.
> 
> Is Tim going to wait for Lucy?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tim, how would we do this?”

Lucy woke up on Saturday morning with Kujo snuggled under her arm. She sighed happily as she gazed at her beautiful boy glowing in the daylight. As much as Lucy wishes she could have kept him, he was able to bring her and Tim closer together. Kujo was their connection outside of work. And it made for an excellent excuse to see each other after hours.

Kujo breathed deeply in and out with his head resting perfectly in the crook of her elbow. She wondered if this is how Tim woke up in the morning. She imagined waking up beside him, her waist wrapped in his arms, his eyes hazy from slumber, the sunlight peeking through the blinds to make him out to be a kind of God. She imagined him kissing her good morning, petting Kujo as he crawled in bed between them.

“I wish I could keep you here forever,” she whispered, scratching behind Kujo’s ear and snuggling closer to him. It was her day off and she was deeply considering staying in bed.

Lucy closed her eyes and thought about her and Tim. Maybe everything will happen just right between them, and one day they’ll move in together. She fantasized about walking down the street with him and Kujo, Tim’s hand intertwined in hers. He would become Sergeant in North Hollywood or Malibu, she’d continue on patrol at Mid-Wilshire. She would maybe become a training officer, modeling herself after Tim, but she’d vow to be nicer to her rookies. But not too nice. And it was nice to think about. She worried mostly about her day to day. If they would last. How they would handle getting caught. What if all was to be grand and okay in the long run?

Fantasy was a dangerous territory.

A knock at the door sent Kujo running out of bed. Lucy didn’t need to wonder who it was. Who else would it be?

She rolled out of bed, slowly letting her feet get acquainted with the floorboards. She stretched her arms forward and back, tuning out the incessant knocking and Kujo’s barks in response.

“Coming!” She called out.

She opened the door to see Tim absolutely beaming. He kneeled down and gave Kujo a belly rub, which made Lucy’s tired face smile a little. She scratched the back of her head, blinking heavily at Tim, trying to get herself to wake up.

Tim stood and pulled her waist in his arm with a quickness. He pressed his lips against hers. After getting past the initial shock, Lucy relaxed against him. That was definitely one way to say hello.

“Mmmm… okay, okay, okay.” She said, putting one hand on his chest and pushing him back. “I have morning breath.”

He stole one more kiss before conceding. “Fine. Go brush.”

She made a face and headed toward her bathroom, saying, “you’re so early.”

“You said you were going to bring West some breakfast first thing in the morning.” He said loud enough for her to hear in the other room. “But when you live in an apartment building with a dog, the first thing you gotta do every morning is take it for a walk.”

“I was going to.” Lucy protested although her words were muffled by the toothbrush in her mouth.

“I thought we could walk him together.” Tim said. “And I brought Portos.”

Lucy suddenly appeared in the door frame, her jaw dropping as she noticed the box of pastries Tim had set on the counter. “You did not!” She gasped, shuffling over to it. “You did not get me cheese rolls.”

“A whole dozen.” He said as he watched her open the box.

“Nooooo. You know I can down a whole box by myself and Jackson isn’t even here to help me.”

“You can always bring the box to Jackson.”

“Hell no. Jackson gets his healthy-ass açai bowl and I get to enjoy the cheese rolls.”

Tim laughed and closed the box on her fingers. She shrieked playfully.

“Get dressed. I’ll make some coffee and heat up some cheese rolls to go so we can take this guy for a walk.” He gestured toward an impatient Kujo sitting at his feet.

Lucy went into her room and rummaged through her closet. It wasn’t even 8:30 yet and usually on her days off she wouldn’t get out of bed until noon. But it excited her to be with Tim, knowing what they were now. Well, she didn’t know exactly but what they were was much more than before. Whatever it was, she wasn’t going to complain about an early morning with him.

She settled for leggings and an off the shoulder knit sweater. She brushed a little bit of mascara through her eyelashes. She pulled her hair into a high ponytail before meeting Tim again. He noticed the makeup but didn’t make a comment. She was beautiful either way but seemed to awaken in an instant.

Something about walking down with Tim felt so natural to her. She thought after the two nights they had, a part of her would be all shook up. But they walked down the street with ease the way they had done it a million times before.

“No trail today though, okay Tim?” She told him as they hit the first corner of the street. “I have to head to the hospital soon. Can we go just around the block?"

“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask Kujo if that’s okay.”

She laughed, shoving him a little with her weight.

They always went on the trail together. He’d sometimes bring Portos on his way to pick up Lucy, partly because he liked the occasional indulgence but mostly because it made her whine about possibly getting fat for eating so many cheese rolls. He thought it was funny. She was so cute. They’d try to take Kujo out on the trail together at least once every two weeks. They both had busy schedules. And as much as Lucy loved her dog, she knew hanging out with Tim before might’ve been overstepping her boundaries. But now…

She watched as his one hand gripped onto Kujo’s leash, the other just hanging by his side. While they walked, Lucy swung her arms slightly, the back of her wrist brushing the back of his hand ever so often. She watched their hands there. Her fingers twitching towards him. She wanted to hold his hand. She was so sure of it. Tim eventually caught her stare, and grazed his thumb discretely against her fingers. Lucy smiled to herself.

“Tim,” she mumbled, snapping back to reality.

“Mhmm?” Tim hummed.

“How would we do this?”

Tim shortened his leash, pulling Kujo closer to them as they walked. He looked at Lucy whose eyes were fixated on the ground. “We can go steady.”

“Steady? Are you serious? I forgot I’m dating an older man.”

 _Dating._ She bit her lip.

“Gosh, did you have this conversation with Nolan when you guys were together?”

“We didn’t do much talking, actually.”

Tim fell silent. His jaw clenched.

“Oh c’mon, I’m joking. But I like seeing this jealous Tim Bradford.” Lucy laughed.

“No, I’m not.” He totally was but he would be damned if he admitted it outright to Lucy. “Maybe we can grab dinner somehow. We can postmates from your favourite restaurant, or we can drive down to San Diego for lunch so we don’t get seen.”

“What happens if we do get seen?”

“Then we’ll deal with it.”

Lucy fell quiet again. She wished so badly that things could be so simple.

“And what about…” She trailed off, looking askance. She stopped him and they moved into an alley beside a cafe. He looked at her with a knitted brow. She cleared her throat but still spoke under her breath. “Maybe we should keep things… casual.”

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“You and I both know that us going forward is a big risk. It’s a risk to my career, to my credibility as an officer because you were my training officer. But it’s also a risk, you know, to my heart.”

“Boot-” Tim said, touching her arm.

“Tim, I’m scared you’ll break my heart.”

“You know I won’t.”

“And what happens when we get found out and you don’t want to carry that guilt?”

“I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“I know you won’t.” Lucy said. “But we work together. And I value your friendship more than anything. I just think if we start moving mountains for each other, start making drastic life-changes just to be able to sneak around, we’ll have so much more to lose if things go south. I don’t want to fuck this up by rushing into it.”

Her stomach twisted. She didn’t know how to explain what she had been agonizing over for the past couple months. She wanted to be with him. She knew that more than anything. Any time the thought of him drifted to her mind, she yearned to be with him. And she couldn’t imagine the heartbreak she would face if they had to end things.

He stood there looking at her. She tried desperately to read his expression but couldn’t. She didn’t expect him to be able to rationalize her impossible request. Not when they’ve come this far. Tim didn’t deserve to be played with and Lucy knew that. But she was already falling dangerously hard. And she didn’t want to lose what they had.

Tim finally spoke up as Lucy’s worry began to harbour in her mind. “You asked me to wait for you, Lucy, and if that means keeping it cool for a while, then I’m in. As long as I can be with you somehow.”

She finally relaxed. Her muscles had been all tensed up and she hadn’t even realized. Now, she could melt and simply bask in his words. “Thank you. I really want to kiss you right now.” She told him sheepishly.

Tim’s lips curved into a tempting grin. “We’re literally in an alley right now, Chen.”

Lucy laughed and shook her head. “Let’s keep walking,” she said, strutting back onto the main sidewalk, making sure he had a good view of her swaying her ass for him. They couldn’t kiss out on the street but nothing could stop them once they got back upstairs.

They finished circling the block with an eagerness. Lucy was now in the best fucking mood of her life. She and Tim raced into the elevator. As soon as the doors slid closed, Tim reached for her head, interlacing his fingers with hers. She couldn’t help but blush. He took her hand and yanked her body against hers, planting a wet kiss on her mouth.

The elevator doors opened again once they got to Lucy’s floor. They stumbled down the hall. Tim held her waist against him and smothering her neck with kisses as she unlocked her front door, although his advances had made it hard for her to concentrate. Her fingers became inept.

She finally opened the door and they pushed through, their bodies already desperately tangled in each other. Lucy pulled her sweater off and onto the floor while Tim let Kujo off his leash to let him run free in the apartment.

Tim growled deep in the back of his throat, almost hungrily as he saw Lucy biting her lip. He wasn’t going to wait any longer. He pulled her pants off and quickly picked her up and sat her on the kitchen counter. He kneeled down in front of her, spreading her legs and placing his head right between her thighs. His fingers gently caressed her skin, trailing up to her belly. Lucy was panting hard. The feeling of his breath hitting her in just the right spot was already sending her.

He tucked a finger around her panties and slowly moved the fabric out of the way, revealing her swollen, wet sex. She smelled magnificent. The way she squirmed around under his nose was making him hot.

“Please, Tim.” She moaned, curling her fingers around his head, pushing him closer to her.

He held her panties to the side and put his mouth on her, earning himself an appreciative wail. He rolled his tongue around her pussy, sometimes flicking her clit to force a cry out of Lucy. She clawed at his head, thrashing around.

Tim lifted his mouth. “Put me where you want me,” he whispered against her.

She pushed his face back between her legs, cursing blindly. She moved her hips and held his face in place as she found her sweet spot. She could be suffocating Tim down there but she couldn’t contain herself. She grinded her clit against his tongue.

“Ah fuck, baby-” she whimpered and she felt him smile against her.

Lost in the pleasure, they were interrupted by the deafening sound of Kujo barking. They wouldn’t have noticed it over Lucy’s moans but he just kept getting louder.

With her eyes still clenched shut, Lucy shouted, “Kujo!”

Tim turned and saw the dog wilding out. “He thinks I’m hurting you.” He said, his thumb rolling softly against her to keep her going. “Kujo, down! Go into the room.” He pointed at Jackson’s door, slightly ajar, and Kujo ran in.

Lucy tried to blink back to reality. She sat up and saw that the dog had obeyed. “No no no no,” she panted, pulling Tim’s head back. “Not Jackson’s room; he’ll kill me.”

“So do you want me to stop?” Tim teased her, his mouth inching closer once again.

Lucy threw her head back and laid down fully on the counter. He hooked her leg around his neck to steady them. “No, please keep going.”

Tim didn’t need to be asked twice. He ate her out and easily plunged two fingers into her wet cunt. He practically ripped her panties from her hips so he could fuck her. Lucy arched her back, her cries of pleasure filling the whole apartment.

“Faster-” she cried. “I’m gonna come.”

He kept his mouth on her as he dug his fingers in and out of her. She jerked her hips but Tim was able to hold her down so she didn’t roll off the countertop. He fingered her fast, changing his rhythm from in and out to twisting his wrist and sometimes both. It drove her nuts. Tim liked nothing more than these moments. When she’s all built up to the brim, on the verge of spilling out. He took one hand and reached for her chest. He massaged her breast under her bra, playing frivolously with her nipples. It wasn’t gonna take much more to make her come but he liked watching her in sensory overload.

She came violently moments after. Her whole body stiffened as she peaked. Tim continued to fuck her, easing her from her climax. When she finally caught her breath, she sat up. She had let go of Tim’s head but he remained between her thighs, licking her come as it dripped out of her.

“Come here.” Lucy took his face and brought him to her mouth. She locked his tongue between her lips. She could taste herself still on his mouth. It was starting to rile her up again so she slowed back down. She pulled back, opening her eyes to him although being fresh from climax made that hard.

“You are so fucking sexy, boot.” He whispered, enamoured by her heavy eyelids batting away at him.

 _“Lucy,”_ she corrected him but after what he did to her, she honestly didn’t mind it.

“I hope we didn’t scare the dog.” He said.

“Oh God,” she groaned. She didn’t even want to start.

She sat closer to the edge of the counter so she could easily wrap her legs around his. They remained like that, basically hugging, for a full minute. Her just taking in his smell, him doing the same to her. She was so wildy disheveled and quite frankly, exhausted. They could stay there like that all day.

“Hey, you don’t know how badly I want to return the favour but I really, really have to go.” She said, running her hands around his neck and down his chest.

“Yeah no, sorry to have kept you.”

“No, oh my god, don’t apologize.” She was blushing again. She could feel the fire in her cheeks. “That was…” She struggled to find the words so she kissed him again. “I’ll make it up to you. Tonight at your place?”

“Our first official date? I’ll cook you dinner. Maybe put on a movie?”

She threw her head back and laughed. “Hey, I don’t think it would count or anything less than our 100th date after what we’ve been through. But yes, let’s go steady.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STORY PLAYLIST: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW?si=6JNLdFn_TqWKOJLBkSiZTQ
> 
> Comments and Kudos are my motivation!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't get up in the morning  
> It's too hard if I even try it  
> You in here to tell me  
> Turn my anxiety into excitement

“Guess who brought peel-off face masks!”

It had taken Lucy about a half an hour to get ready for the hospital after Tim left. Of course, she had been dressed but the sex forced her to take a little detour. Not only was her mascara running almost to the point of racoon-eyes and not only was her hair incredibly disheveled, but she had to take a minute to calm down a little. It was like she and Tim had just run a marathon. It sure felt like it. She took a quick shower since Tim had really made her sweat. And of course she smelt of sex… and of him.

Jackson’s face lit up when she entered his room. He had just been moved out of the ICU. The man was a fighter and Lucy was glad to have him as her partner. And best friend.

“Finally!” He exasperated. “I’ve been waiting for you for like two hours. Now get over here because the nurse finally gave me the TV remote and Drag Race is on.”

Lucy skipped over to his bedside and gave his head a quick peck over the bandages. “I also come bearing food.” She said, presenting him her offerings like a queen’s suitor.

“Wow, Kreation and Porto’s? You went to both?”

“Yeah,” she lied, “they’re so near each other I thought I’d be generous. But hey, this is a $10 smoothie so we’re sharing it.”

“I don’t mind, man, this hospital grub is trash.”

Lucy was able to pull two chairs next to each other so she could lay back and relax at Jackson’s bedside. They laughed, ate cheese rolls, watched Drag Race, and applied each other’s face masks. They tried to make each other laugh as their masks started to harden, rendering their faces to a fresh botox-like imobility.

Maybe Lucy had been laughing a little too loud, or she was smiling a little too much because Jackson was soon able to notice something was different about his best friend.

“Damn, what is up with you today?” He teased.

“What are you talking about?”

“Yesterday you were literally in here crying like a bitch and now you looked like you’ve been saved by the holy ghost.”

Lucy laughed, miming pushing him since she couldn’t actually lay a hand on his literal broken arm. She shook her head, combing her fingers through her hair, tossing her locks to her shoulder. She sat back in her make-shift chaise and sighed, refocusing her attention on the TV.

Though knowing Jackson, there was no way he was going to lay off even for a second.

“Have you been fucking?”

Lucy shot up from her chair, almost falling out. “What? Oh my god, no.”

“Lucy,” he demanded, giving her a serious look.

“No, I’m not! I didn’t...”

“You’re the most obvious liar and you know it.”

“Jackson, _no_.” She said, although he was totally right. She tried to keep from smiling which was her number one tell. But her face was getting redder… Her whole face was starting to take the heat. This was her raunchiest lie yet. How she wished she still wore her mask. She ran her fingers through her hair, reminding herself to be cool. “I did bring a guy home though… Kujo.”

“You mean to tell me you’re this happy and cheery because you got to take your dog home?”

“Yes.”

“You know, yeah, as I said it, it started to make sense.” He conceded, looking quite disappointed. Then his eyes suddenly grew wide. “Oh jeez, did you make sure to lock up the valuables?”

“No because Tim trained him really well.” She assured him. Her mind wandered briefly to that morning when Tim told Kujo to leave them alone and he obeyed just like that. And she remembered not being of much help given her… _position._

“Is the dog back with Tim now?”

Lucy nodded. “Tim took him back to his place this morning.”

“Oh so you saw Tim today.”

“Uhm yeah…” She hesitated.

Jackson sat up in his bed and turned to face his best friend. He shot her an inquisitive look, knocking down her defenses slowly. Meanwhile, she silently begged for him to change the subject.

“So how is Tim?” Jackson asked.

Lucy hesitated. _Be cool_ , she told herself. “How am I supposed to know?”

“I mean, he swung by the apartment this morning to take his dog back…”

“Kujo’s mine too.”

“Yeah,” Jackson agreed, half-smiling. His pearly whites burned a hole in Lucy’s eyes as he shined them at her. “Was he concerned about the O’Connell altercation?”

“Why would he be? The bastard was put away.”

“Because he basically held us hostage and I bet it brought him back to what happened with you and Caleb.”

Lucy frowned, shifting in her chair to face him. “Of course not-”

“You remember how much he blamed himself after you got kidnapped? I just think after hearing that you were taken again, he must’ve worried about you. We all worry about you, obviously. But especially Tim.”

“Well, it didn’t come up.”

She wanted to mention they had gone on patrol together, that he didn’t want her responding to any high risk calls, but she had to stop talking about Tim altogether. The deeper she got into it, the more she’d have to lie, and the sooner the truth would catch up to her.

“Anyway,” Jackson said after the tension brought up by Lucy’s defensiveness had worn off. “I talked to the detectives. Looks like we’re going to have to testify against O’Connell.”

“Why? He was a notorious gang leader wanted for several other felonies.”

“He shot a cop. And there’s no solid evidence that he committed any murders, or if he even made the calls for his men to do so.” Jackson explained, enhancing Lucy’s worry. “They’re going to investigate and we have our body cam footage; it’ll be okay. We’re in this together.”

Lucy had anxiety. Jackson knew that. It only started happening when Caleb kidnapped her. She frequently had panic attacks and bad dreams. She’d sink back into the memory of her being forced to climb into a barrel. To her forewarned death. She’d wallow in the image of Caleb closing the lid on her barrel, leaving her there to die. She could still feel the impact of him kicking her into her grave, the dirt hitting the barrel until she was fully underground. Buried alive. She could still feel her air start to run out.

Lucy’s parents helped her through her trauma, taught her exercises to control and subdue herself. It got better after time. She was able to forget.

One thing that she could never shake was thinking what would have happened if Caleb had lived to face a day in court? The memory would come sprinting back. The thought of having to relive it in front of a jury, recount the awful and sadistic things he did to her. Show the jury that he had branded her, the proof still on her side, unable to be removed because it was evidence.

***

Not long after she had been rescued, there was a night she was by herself in the apartment. Jackson had gone and spent the night with his Sterling. Lucy was becoming a third wheel. She used them as her crutch and unknowingly overstepped. Of course they wanted alone time. They were dating. And instead of snuggling up on the couch to watch Love Is Blind by herself (a low even for her, as she found herself seriously considering the experiment) Lucy tasked herself with organizing the apartment. Or at least her side of it.

Lucy was never one to be tidy. In fact, she and Jackson were quite opposites as roommates. While Jackson often made perfect creases in his bedsheets, Lucy would, at best, lazily drape her duvet cover onto her mattress. The whole juxtaposition made them butt heads a lot but they both learned to cohabitate in peace.

After having dinner at her childhood home the weekend before, she was sent back to the apartment with all her old journals. Some were personal diaries, while others were reflections forced on her by her parents. A young Lucy had kept notes of what was going on in her head. Having it written down made it easier to unpack with her parents. She grew up talking to them about her every thought and feeling. Her parents basically used her as their guinea pig, testing new methods with her. Lucy would be lying if having psychologists as parents didn’t help sometimes. In fact, her monthly dinners with them grew into therapy sessions and check-ins after the kidnapping. Her dad had handed her the journals at the end of the night, telling her it might be worth reading through.

She didn’t really want to reopen old wounds. Even the happy memories. Lucy thought whether good or bad, those self-reflections were better staying unearthed for now. _Maybe in the future,_ she thought, _but I’m not going to psychoanalyze myself tonight._

She kicked the box of her childhood paraphernalia into a corner in her bedroom. It wasn’t their permanent place but Lucy really didn’t know what to do with them. She decided to get a beer from the fridge to keep herself company while she took a hard look at the task at hand. Her dresser had used coffee cups she’d harboured into her room over the past couple weeks. Her makeup was sprawled across pretty much anything with a flat surface. There was a lot to do.

Lucy managed to clear up most of the crap in her room. She drank her beer, listened to music, and sang along in the comfort of her solitude while she attacked her evening chores. And it was going well until she came across her box again. All of her journals had been blue moleskine softcovers. She had scratched various quotes into the covers with a white sharpies. Even as a kid, she didn’t appreciate the pretentious cookie-cutter typography most journals came with. But, noticing the box again, she found what looked to be a newer notebook. Pocket-sized and slim. Lucy frowned before hesitantly opening it to a random page.

_CHEN, LUCY_   
_DAY 5 AFTER KIDNAPPING_   
_PANIC ATTACKS AND NIGHT TERRORS_   
_HYPERVENTILATING_   
_SEVERE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS_   
_DETACHMENT FROM FRIENDS_   
_EASILY STARTLED/TRIGGERED_   
_LINGERING DEPRESSION_   
_NO THOUGHTS OF SELF-HARM_

She could feel herself starting to sweat. Her eyes couldn’t look away. She couldn’t stop reading. These notes were so distinctively in her father’s handwriting. He always wrote in all caps, slightly slanted, kind of messy but still legible. He would have never meant to put his notepad along with her things. This was a hazardous accident.

Her mind told her not to flip the page but she did anyway.

_CHEN, LUCY_   
_DIAGNOSED PTSD_   
_THIRD WEEK POST KIDNAPPING_   
_PANIC ATTACKS LESS FREQUENT_   
_REPORTS CONTINUED GENERAL ANXIETY PARTICULARLY IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS_   
_LINGERING DEPRESSION_   
_*CONSIDER SUGGESTING ANTIDEPRESSANTS TO COPE WITH PTSD. EASY INTEGRATION._

Lucy swallowed hard before dropping the notepad onto the floor. She took a step back, steadying herself as her mind started to spin. Her first thought was to knock on Jackson’s door and cry out to him. But he wasn’t home. And after being told she was becoming the annoying third wheel, she cautioned herself not to call him.

Then she thought about Tim.

She grabbed her phone and went into the living room. She dialed her T.O. as she paced the room almost frantically.

Tim picked up after two rings.

“Officer Chen,” he answered.

“Tim, I’m freaking out.” She blurted out as soon as he heard his voice.

Tim’s tone immediately shifted from harsh to concerned. “What’s happening? Where are you? You need me to come over there?”

“I’m at home.” Lucy fell onto the couch. As his answer to her distress call started to register in her mind, she started to realize how ridiculous it all was. It was nearing midnight for god’s sake. “No, no of course not… You don’t need to come.” She stammered, combing her hand through her hair. “Sorry, I’m okay. Really.”

“Boot?”

“I just read something that triggered me. I shouldn’t have called.”

“Of course you should have.” Tim said, sounding uncharacteristically reassuring. “You got some beer at your place?”

“Uhm, no?”

“Okay I’ll swing by the liquor store on my way.”

She sighed, trying not to smile. “You don’t have to come over, Tim.”

“Well, I’m gonna. You got something better to do, boot?”

“I don’t know, sleep?” She scoffed.

“We both know you won’t be able to sleep without talking shit out first.” Tim told her. “I’ll be there in 20.”

At that point in their relationship, it was natural for Tim to swing by this late at night. He had paid her home visits constantly since the kidnapping. Jackson and Lucy both had Tim on speed dial when it came to Lucy’s anxiety attacks. It became second nature for Lucy to seek comfort in Tim. He seemed to be able to calm her down like no one else could.

Just as promised, Tim arrived at her apartment exactly 20 minutes after she had hung up the phone. Tim was a lot of things but late was not one of them.

She opened the door and Tim immediately stepped inside.

“What were you reading?” He said.

Lucy, confused as to what he was talking about, forgot all about the journal. Reflecting on Tim must’ve made her forget.

“Are you okay?” Tim said, locking his eyes with hers.

“It was nothing.” Lucy murmured. Tim, having none of it, just looked at her doubtfully. Lucy was usually good at shouldering her emotions but for some reason, Tim had her carrying her heart on her sleeve. It was starting to piss her off… But he really did make her feel better. She sighed, caving in once again. “I found some of my dad’s notes from our therapy sessions after Caleb.”

Tim’s eyes were immediately remorseful. He tried to hide it, turning around to crack open the case of beer he’d brought, but Lucy noticed. He handed her a beer and motioned for the couch.

They both opened their cans and raised them to cheers, sitting together on the couch.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tim asked.

“Isn’t that why you came? To force me to talk about my feelings.”

“I’m here because sometimes all you need is to share a beer with a friend.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow, smiling at him. “Tim Bradford, a self-proclaiming friend. Can I get that in writing?”

Tim smiled, tipping his beer for a sip. They relaxed on the couch together.

After a minute of sitting in silence, Lucy turned to him.

“I don’t even know why it triggered me so much to read my dad’s notes. It’s not like they weren’t not true. I had textbook PTSD.”

“Maybe it just reminded you of that time in your life. Your healing period.” Tim said, his expression soft, his tone comforting. “But look at the progress you’ve made.”

This was only two and a half months after she had been taken. Her tattoo, still on her side, had healed but her inner wounds still felt somewhat fresh.

“You call this progress?” Lucy scoffed, lifting her second beer.

Tim sat up, resting his elbows on his knees and looked at her square in the eye. “Yeah, I do.” He said. “You should be proud of yourself, Officer Chen.”

She exhaled at his words. A weight seemed to instantly lift from her shoulders.

***

A part of her wasn’t worried about having to testify against O’Connell. She had Tim now. She always did. And she was so thankful for all those nights, like the one with the notebooks, and many others just like it. She held their friendship so close to her heart. Now, she could look at their current situation as having a newfound trust in him. A new dynamic to their relationship which allowed more intimacy and closeness. But still, that could change. They definitely worked as colleagues and as friends, but how would they fare as a couple?

Regardless, Lucy knew that with Tim, she was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how are we feeling about the smut?? next chapter has quite a bit. let me know!
> 
> STORY PLAYLIST is always being added to so keep listening!  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW?si=ruI36V_lSRucAAGgEoSgeg
> 
> Kudos and comments are my motivation!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna love you  
> in every kind of way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very fluffy and VERY smutty (if that's not your thing... sorry!)

“Hey, baby.” Tim greeted her as he opened the door.

Lucy scrunched up her face, trying not to laugh at him. “Wooow,” she said sarcastically. “Did you just call me _baby?”_

Tim shrugged, noting that it made her blush, and allowed her to step inside the house. “You called me it first.” He defended.

“Pfft. When? During sex?” She smiled and he simply nodded. “Well, I like it.”

“Me too.” He kissed her on the cheek.

Lucy was beautiful. Her hair was curled into loose waves, much tidier than how he’d left her that morning. Her eyes glistened. He knew she wasn’t going to get all dressed for him. She wanted to keep things casual after all. But she was still stunning and he could finally take notice. Tim could look at her the way he always wanted to. Without shame or restraint.

“What the hell are you staring at?” Lucy said, chuckling softly as she wandered the living room.

And again, he’d been caught being fixated on her.

Tim blushed sheepishly, lowering his head and rubbing the back of his neck. “Can I get you some wine?”

“Yes, please.”

He went into the kitchen and poured two glasses of red wine. When he returned to the living room, he found her already sitting on the couch with Kujo nestled comfortably in her lap. He sighed, taking in the sight, before walking over.

“Something smells great, Officer Bradford.” She mused, taking the wine. “You cooking something for me?”

“Ugh… yes.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You don’t sound so sure?”

“I admit I’m not the best cook, Officer Chen, but I wanted to make something I knew I couldn’t fuck up but I’m realizing now that you might not like it.”

“Try me.”

“Lasagna.”

Lucy smiled a smile that had been stealing his heart since day one. She rested a hand softly on his knee, leaning in and said, “That’s perfect, Tim.”

He relaxed. He stared at her lips for a second. They were wet and full. Maybe it was gloss or maybe she’d been pouting purposely for him. He leaned in slow, finding her reciprocating the action. His mouth inching away from hers, he could already taste her sweet lips as he got closer.

Then she pulled back.

“What’s up?” Tim asked, a little taken aback and embarrassed.

“Keeping it casual right?”

The truth was, Lucy still hadn’t gotten used to this new relationship with Tim. Her automatic response to him trying to kiss her was still to retreat. He was her superior. Her friend. It suddenly felt so real, so romantic between them. Lucy didn’t know how to quiet her preservations.

The timer in the kitchen went off. Tim left Lucy and Kujo to chill on the couch while he took the lasagna out of the oven. He set the table, which was something he wouldn’t do unless he had someone over. He wanted to impress her.

He watched her anxiously as she took her first bite. She knew he was watching and thought briefly to mess with him and spit into a napkin. But in the corner of her eye, she could see that he was nervous. She chewed slowly, making sure he was on the edge of his seat. Lucy swallowed. Her eyes fluttered open to meet his and she licked the stray sauce from her bottom lip. She decided she was going to be honest with him.

“It’s delicious.” She reassured him, smiling coyly.

They ate the rest of their dinner engaging in normal conversation. It was nice. Refreshing. Lucy was adamant that she didn’t want to put their friendship at risk and she was glad they still had it. Their friendship was unlike any other. It was weird to think that a year and a half ago, they would have never considered each other a friend. Their relationship blossomed into something quite beautiful. First colleagues, then friends, and now…

Tim was light to call them friends with benefits.

“So what does casual mean?” He asked her as they finished up their last bites.

Lucy sat back in her chair. “It means I get scared when things get too real. It’ll never not be intense between us.”

“I know, it’s tough. I want us to still be us, you know?”

“Me too.” She nodded. “The sex is good though.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Just good?”

Lucy couldn’t help but blush. “The sex is _great._ And maybe the less complicated it is the better.”

“So friends with benefits?”

“Maybe a little more than that?” She shrugged, taking a sip of her wine. “I like you, Tim. I really, really do. We can’t fuck this up especially not while there’s still our careers need to think about.”

“How do you want to play it at work on Monday?”

“Like nothing happened, I guess.”

“Right. But you can’t call me boot anymore.”

“Hey! I thought you liked it?” Tim started to laugh.

Lucy sneered, playfully throwing her napkin at his face. “It’s cute sometimes but _boot_ is still a derogatory term for rookies. First of all, I’m not a rookie. Second, if we’re gonna do this I want to be equals.”

“Fine.” Tim said. “But you will always be _my_ rookie.”

Much to Tim’s annoyance, Lucy insisted she help clean up after dinner. Maybe when he was her T.O. this would fly, but now that they were together, he thought it was weird to allow her to help. They needed to keep the work dynamic separate. Maybe it wasn’t the impressionable rookie in her, but just her courteous personality. They’d wash the dishes side by side (Tim, of course, thought dishwashers were the lazy way out) and it felt pretty domestic.

They finished up and retired to the couch. At first Lucy sat on a separate cushion out of habit. But she inched closer to him, realizing it was okay now for her to do so.

She leaned into him, her cheek resting nicely around the crook of his neck. She liked it there. He put his arm around her shoulder and she draped her’s around his chest, playing with the frays on his sleeve.

“Jackson said Angela might be pregnant.” Lucy suddenly said. Her comfort around him, the one they built as friends, had resurfaced easily. “Or at least, I heard she and Wesley are trying.”

“Lucy, you know I don’t participate in gossip.” Tim said. She couldn’t see it from where she was but she knew he had rolled his eyes.

“But you know I do!” She teased. “I take it she didn’t tell you either?”

“Why did she tell Jackson?” Tim grumbled.

Lucy sat up and laughed at him. “Oh c’mon don’t be bitter, Tim.”

“Well it’s just gossip because Angela definitely planned to give herself a couple more years as acting head detective before she starts a family.”

Tim and Angela were definitely really close friends. He watched her go from rookie, to P-2, to training officer, and now detective. And she watched him get married, divorced and was surprise he had held off his promotion for Lucy. When it came to work, there was always some friendly competition between them. It somehow strengthened them as cops. They had an interesting comradery, especially since being training officers together. And when things started going downhill with Isabel, Angela was there not only as a compassionate colleague but as a really good friend. Despite Tim’s repeated attempts to reject her and Talia’s efforts, they pushed through. Starting their families was definitely something they all discussed at some point.

“What happens to her if she gets pregnant? Could she still work?” Lucy asked, resting her elbow on his arm.

“She’d be assigned administrative work. She wouldn’t go on patrol but could continue her regular work at some capacity. Like witness interviews, interrogations. It’s different in different departments. Some can be really discriminatory. It’s really up to her and Grey but she’s been a team player for over ten years; it wouldn’t be too much of a problem.”

“That’s good.” Lucy said. “But listen, you can’t tell anyone I told you. I don’t know if it was supposed to be a secret.”

He beamed at her, swooping a stray hair from her forehead behind her ear. “I have to keep a lot of secrets for you, Chen.”

She laced her fingers with his and leaned in. She stared at his lips as they got closer, trying not to smile as she anticipated kissing him. Her lips found his and they kissed each other deeply. He probed her mouth open with his tongue before slipping it between her lips. Lucy's hands found his neck and tugged at his collar, disconnecting their lips between kisses to catch her breath.

She pulled his shirt over his head and he was quick to do the same to her. He smiled at her, gaped at her body when she was left in her bra. She leaned back to let him look, biting her lip to keep from laughing. Lucy could bask in the way Tim beamed at her but she would never get used to seeing it. She returned to kiss him. Her hand snaked down his chest, her fingers simply grazing below the belt.

He had been doing the same, tucking his fingers inside the waistband of her pants. Lucy stopped him.

“Remember I wanted to return the favour?” She whispered into his ear.

She got down on her knees and placed herself between Tim’s calves. He let her, but not before reluctantly refusing. But she insisted. He looked at her hungrily, already fully intoxicated by the moment. By the way her fingers stretched out over his lap, edging him on like torture.

Lucy scattered wet kisses down his chest, lining his contours with the tip of her tongue. Tim watched attentively as she slowly dragged her upper lip down his abs. Her left hand scratching softly at his bicep, her right tugging at the waistband of his briefs. He was hot with anticipation but enjoyed her dance there. He locked his jaw and stretched his head back.

She made eye contact with him, her eyes dewy with lust, and stripped him from his briefs without breaking a beat. She took his dick in her hand; he was already hard for her. He clenched his jaw, swallowing his groan, and reached forward to caress her face with the back of his hand. Her eyes were so wide looking up at him. So intense yet so alluring.

Lucy wrapped her soft, moist lips around the tip, wrapping her fingers around his girth and keeping a nice grasp.

 _Oh my god. Fuuuuck_.

Tim gripped the back of the couch, feeling her tongue work conscientiously around his member.

Lucy could feel him swell harder in her mouth. Just the thought of that power she had on him turned her on. And seeing him turn to putty at her advances was just as hot.

Her tongue swirled around him a couple more times before she took most of his length into her mouth, massaging the rest in her palm.

 _“Mhhmmmm_ shit, so good, Luce,” he groaned, pushing his head back further into the couch to relish the feeling of her mouth around him.

He tilted his head forward and let himself gaze at her again, losing control every so often from the immense pleasure. She looked up at him, her doll-like eyes almost watery. He pushed her hair over her shoulders, watching it cascade down her back like a pristine waterfall. He couldn’t tell her enough times how beautiful she was.

She bobbed her head slowly, paying sweet attention to what Tim seemed to like. She guided her hand up and down the length of his shaft, humming against him in response to his sexy moans.

Tim started to feel himself edge towards climax. His abs started to tighten. Her mouth was too good. He tried to gently push Lucy’s shoulder back so she could stop before he blew, but she kept her lips tight around him. She knew he was close, she could feel him trembling on her tongue, but she persisted.

“Oh fuck, baby, I’m gonna come.” He warned her, gripping onto her unwavering shoulder as he threw his head back.

Lucy didn’t stop.

Tim blew his load right into Lucy’s mouth and he lost his damn mind.

Lucy finally disengaged, appearing to have swallowed for him. A drop of come on her bottom lip, she made sure Tim watched as she licked it clean with a wet tongue.

This was the hottest shit Tim had ever seen.

“Jesus,” he breathed.

He merely stared at her, sitting pretty between his legs, her cheeks as pink as could be. She was smiling, almost seeming proud of herself. And how could she not be? Rendering Tim into a wanton, speechless state gave her much satisfaction.

Tim pulled her up so she could sit with him. His arms fully embracing her by her waist, he kissed her lips… Then her neck. And between her breasts.

She sighed contentedly at his kisses before getting up and off him. Tim opened his eyes, perplexed.

“Think you can do it again?” She smirked. “I’m not done.”

And without waiting for Tim's response, Lucy turned a heel and strutted in the direction of the bedroom. She stretched one arm behind her back and unclasped her bra. In one swift motion, she tossed it onto the floor to reveal her bare back.

Tim followed her shortly. He was exhausted and still reeling from coming, but the thought of Lucy naked and alone in his bed was enough to make him stir.

He opened the door of his bedroom to find her lying on her stomach, propping herself up by her elbows. She whipped her head back and looked at him over her shoulder, strands of her hair falling to meekly cover her flirtatious gaze.

Tim crawled on top of her, caging her body between his arms and legs. He kissed up her backbone, letting her get lost in the bliss of its simplicity before flipping her over onto her back, catching her off guard. She let out a playful squeal. Tim chuckled before immediately finding her lips. As they made out, Tim reached for her pussy, finding that giving him head earlier was enough to get her wet. His fingers slicked to her hot arousal.

Then, he ate her out. He made sure to pull out all his tricks he found she liked in the past few days. Tim loved getting to know her body, how she responded to certain things, what made her feel good. He felt he had mastered the art.

 _“Ahhhh!”_ Lucy cried out as she came. She thrashed around violently, her hands shaking as she desperately reached for Tim’s face.

They kissed again, trading tastes before Tim pushed his dick inside her. She cried out again as he filled her. She held onto his back as he fucked her, not shy about her moaning anymore. Lucy let him have it. At first apprehensive to be this vulnerable to him, she didn’t care anymore. She loved the way he did her. And he loved the way she sounded.

Tim kissed her lips and she moaned into his mouth, sending shivers down his spine.

It was strange doing it with him. But the sex was so good.

Lucy ripped through a second orgasm that had her gasping for air. Tim eased her through it, making sure she felt every nerve before he finished himself. They were both left panting against each other’s bodies. Lucy rolled on top of him, resting her head on his chest. She calmed down a bit, but she was still drifting in her own ecstasy.

“We’re good at that.” She whispered to her partner, tired, content, and still reeling.

Tim stroked her head, playing with the loose strands falling down her back. “Yeah,” he answered. “I want to make you come again.”

Lucy lifted her head from his chest and looked at him. “I don’t know,” she hesitated. “I don’t know if I can.”

“One more?”

Tim gently rolled her back over so she was once again under him. He held her carefully. Seeing the worry in her eyes laced with hunger and shameless desire, his face seemed to promise he would to make her feel good.

He kissed down her body, stopping at her chest to suck on her nipples. She rolled her fingers through his short, buzzed hair, watching him take her in his mouth. He bit her skin softly, sucking and kissing the spot below her collar. He was sure to leave his mark. She winced but the pain was nice.

Tim continued down her torso. Suddenly, Lucy felt him stop. She glanced down and saw he was staring. He was staring at her tattoo. Of course, he knew it was there. He’d seen it countless times during their daliences in the past few days. It didn’t faze him or anything but this was the first time he had really seen it. The ink had faded quite a bit since she had got it. And while more grey than black, she was still inscribed with her trauma.

Tim’s heart sank.

Lucy reached for him, smoothing his cheek in her palm. As serious as this moment felt with him, she didn’t want to cry. This wasn’t romantic, rest assured. He wasn’t looking at her then as his lover, but as her friend.

_You can choose to see that tattoo as your greatest failure but I see it as proof that you’re a survivor._

Their eyes met again. Neither needed to say anything.

Tim pressed his lips hard against the outline of the tattoo. He stayed there for a minute until he felt her relax under him.

Tim worshipped her stomach, her thighs. He took his time, wanting to kiss every inch of her. He slid his palm over the underside of her legs, pushing them up against her chest. He ran his tongue all over the very inside of her thighs. Barely an inch away from where she wanted him most. She was already squirming around, getting her aching member as close to his mouth as he would let her in the moment.

“Tim,” she murmured, _“baby…”_

As soon as she felt his mouth on her cunt, she winced. She was still reeling from her first two orgasms that her clit became so sensitive that it ached. She loved it though. She loved the way he kissed her there. He made her feel so good that it almost hurt.

He started out slow and soft. Occasionally running his fingers up and down her upper body, flicking her nipples with his thumb. She was still so sensitive from the time before so she jerked at every bit of contact. This time, he wanted her to feel everything intimately and precisely. His tongue, his lips, his breath. Everything. They spent so much of their moments in fits of lust and excitement that he wanted to really show her this time. Show her how she made him feel.

Lucy slid her leg over his bicep, her toes curling against his back.

“Oh shit…” Lucy gasped, her voice raspy and filled with want. “I love– _mhmmmm, yes..._ ”

He rolled his fingers against her clit and looked up at her. She was arching her back, her head buried in the pillow, her eyes clenched shut.

“Right there,” she begged, grinding against his fingers. She was moaning loudly at every beat of contact. She was totally lost in his touch, mouthing cries and begs with every possible breath. “Oh my god. Oh my—fuck!”

Tim pushed a finger inside her and jerked her off with prowess. He was going to get her there. His hand held down her belly as she thrashed around, almost struggling to contain herself. He sucked hard on her clit and that seemed to do the trick. When she finally came, it was unexpectedly intense. The climax was building inside her, rushing within her with more impact than before. So when she hit that peak, she fell harder than she ever had. Her legs were shaking, her eyes rolling back. She was left choking on her own breath, crying searing cries when she could harness the energy to do so.

Tim slid on top of her, gently gliding his palm over her dripping cunt to help her through it. He kissed her jaw tenderly as she panted for air. She couldn’t keep her eyes open but a tear rolled down the side of her face.

“I got you.” Tim cooed. “I got you.”

Soon tears were gushing down her face. Her body and mind were overwhelmed. Lucy was crying whether she liked it or not. It was her body’s response that she could not cease. Tim scooped her body in his arms, pulling the blanket over their naked bodies. He kissed her tears. Lucy was still shuddering, still tearing, and still moaning as the shockwaves burned through her body. Tim held her tight. She gripped onto his arm and welcomed his face nuzzling against her’s. She was so weak. So content. She kissed his wrist and held it tight.

Tim closed his eyes, breathing in her sweet scent. As they started to doze off, Tim remembered her words from the other day.

“Lucy?” He murmured.

“Mhmmm?” She hummed, already falling deep in the throws of slumber.

And they fell asleep.

In all the excitement, Lucy had forgotten all about what she had told him just the night before. She didn’t want to fall asleep with him. It was too intimate, too real. She hadn’t even noticed that they had dozed off together. Together and in the safety of each other’s arms. Intertwined so perfectly against each other like a puzzle piece. Deep in sleep, it wasn’t long before Kujo climbed in bed with them, finding a perfect spot to snooze below their feet. She had broken her one rule but at that very moment, all that mattered that they were safe in each other’s embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are your thoughts?? Lucy is definitely trying to tread lightly, but her inner desire for Tim has other plans.
> 
> Make sure to leave a comment so I know if you guys are liking this story!
> 
> FIC PLAYLIST: spotify:playlist:1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What kind of spell do you have me under?  
> What in the hell? Starting to wonder.
> 
> or
> 
> Lucy and Tim wake up together.

The morning sun shined through the crack between the curtains. Tim woke up and looked to his side. The rays of light traced the outline of Lucy’s face, capturing her beauty in slumber just perfectly. He liked her there, her warmth accompanying his own. Wrapped in thin blankets, resting peacefully. It reminded him about those nights after the kidnapping that he’d stay until she was fast asleep. Everything in him wanted to shield her from the rest of the world just so she could dream. So he could see her contentment. Without a wrinkle of worry in sight. Just like this.

***

“You called him?” Lucy yelled at Jackson. She had come out of her room at the sound of a knock at the front door, only to see Tim, her TO, standing in the doorframe.

“Well, I called Rachel first,” Jackson murmured. “But she was out of town...”

“So he asked me.” Tim explained, one foot already out the door.

Jackson conceded, seeing the care hinted in Tim’s regular stern expression. He reached his hand to her but she refused. “Lucy, let us help you.”

Tim looked at Jackson, whose genuine concern was undeniable, then back to Lucy. It was clear to him that she had been crying. Her eyes were bloodshot. Her face damp from the tears. He didn’t like seeing his boot like this. Not weak but in pain. Tim’s heart was immediately consumed with regret.

“I’m going back to my room.” Lucy grumbled, side-stepping into her bedroom and slamming the door shut. She still hadn’t directly addressed Tim. She couldn’t bear it. How could she look at him, her stern and respectable superior, with anything less than a tough exterior?

Jackson and Tim were left alone in the living room.

“Sorry, she’s just…” Jackson trailed off. His attempt to fill the awkward silence falling short.

“I want to help. I do. But she doesn’t want me here.” Tim said.

“You actually might be the only one who can get through to her.”

Jackson had called Rachel in the midst of Lucy’s panic attack. Rachel was the only other close friend she had apart from Nolan. And when Nolan’s visit didn’t help the night before, he sought out the aid of someone else. And what came was Tim of all people.

Jackson couldn’t always pinpoint what triggered her at the time but Lucy would always make it a point to self-analyze the situation when she calmed down. But in the moments of her anguish cries and her struggle to breathe steadily, Jackson feared for his best friend. He held her and sometimes that was all she needed. But tonight it got worse.

“She’s only been back a week, West. This kind of thing takes time.” Tim said, in a hushed tone with Lucy just on the other side of the wall. “I don’t know what I can do to help her.”

He shrugged. “Just do what the rest of us are doing.” Jackson pointed to Lucy’s door. “Be there for her.”

Tim hesitated, glancing at the door. Sure, he was invited by Jackson, her best friend, but this must be overstepping. Lucy clearly didn’t want him there. Did she blame him for what happened? Tim couldn’t bring himself to ask. But if Jackson thought Tim being there that night for Lucy was important enough to call him, then maybe he had to at least try. And maybe the reason Tim agreed to come is because he knew he could help somehow.

Tim gently knocked on the door. Hearing no response, he got a nod from Jackson so he opened the door slightly.

Keeping his eyes strictly on the floorboards below him, he called out to her. “I’m coming in.”

He waited a moment. Then he entered, finding Lucy sitting on the floor, her back leaning on the edge of her bed. She looked up at him with an unclear expression.

“With all due respect, sir,” Lucy said, “please leave.”

“Boot,” he said before catching himself. “Sorry. _Lucy._ What’s going on?”

“It was just a nightmare. I’m fine.” _And a panic attack..._

“What was the nightmare about?” Tim sat next to her.

Lucy rolled her eyes, and crossed her arms. “What do you think? And besides, we don’t talk about personal stuff.”

She said that like this didn’t concern him, like he wasn't the reason she had gone out with Caleb in the first place. He wanted to tell her she was wrong, and that he could talk it out with her. But she had set her guard up pretty high. And she seemed to build it as soon as he walked through that door.

“So maybe we don’t have to talk?” Tim said hesitantly. “Maybe we can just sit here.”

_I can stay here with you until you feel better,_ he wanted to say.

“But if you prefer to talk my ear off like you do in my shop, then be my guest. You get a free pass today.”

Lucy remained quiet, seemingly unamused by Tim’s attempt at a friendly jab. Before Tim said anything to her, he always gave it a second thought. He didn’t wanna say the wrong thing but it looked like that’s all he was doing. Lucy sat there, defeated by her own demons, and Tim actually missed her non-stop talking. It was her sign that she was okay.

“What’s that?” Tim pointed to the large pink rock on her dresser.

Lucy looked up and followed his finger. “Oh,” she said. “It’s a Himalayan salt lamp.”

“It’s kinda funny looking.”

Lucy tried to smirk, but fell short of her wits. “It’s meant to relax you, help you destress.”

She looked so sad. He wanted to say something snarky, something smart, in hopes that he could snap her out of it. Or to force her to quip back like she always did, always seeing past the tough demeanor. Tim was constantly annoyed by her optimism, and how she was always somehow convinced that her T.O. wasn’t the hardass he was… Now, jaded in misery, he knew how quickly things would flip for her.

“I just hate how I’m still circling back to it.” She finally said. “There are days where I don’t think about it and then other times...”

“It’s the quiet moments.” Tim said, all too knowingly. “I get it. I mean, I didn’t go through what you went through but I understand that feeling… Those moments when you feel yourself sinking into your thoughts and regrets. Where the quiet in your mind seems to become an invitation for your inner demons.”

Lucy looked at him. She had never seen him like this. Honest. Vulnerable, almost. He didn’t put up an inch of his usual defenses. He had that hurt in his eyes, the hurt that Lucy saw in herself every time she passed her reflection.

Lucy glanced back at her fingers, having caught herself looking at Tim for too long. She cleared her throat. “So what helps you get through it?”

Tim shook his head. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

Lucy had had a good week. She had passed the psych evaluation with flying colors and was cleared to return to work. Tim agonized over how he would treat her when she came back. Would he go easy on her? Would he pretend nothing happened? When Nyla asked to ride with Lucy on her first day, Tim worried he wouldn’t be there to protect her. To walk her through her integration back at work. He hadn’t talked to her much since the kidnapping. And when he saw her walk into roll call, hiding her face as the whole room of officers applauded her resiliency, he so desperately wanted to have a quiet moment with her. With all the chaos she must be carrying in her head, he wanted a second to check in with her.

“Listen, I don’t know if anything I say is any help…” Tim started. “But you got this strong perseverance about you and it’s admirable.”

Lucy shook her head.

“I’m serious. You kept yourself alive, you saved yourself. I think that’s what you should be focusing on.”

“You’re the one who did the CPR…” Lucy said. “I saw the body cam footage.”

He wanted to say that she shouldn’t have watched it. Being there in the moment, seeing her passed out and nearing death, was a lot. He couldn’t imagine how traumatizing it must have been for her to not only relive it, but to see herself like that. He wished he was there for moral support.

“You saved yourself.” He repeated.

Nothing he was saying to her then was new. But he couldn’t think of anything else to say. The right words. Lucy sighed, breathing easy again.

“It’s getting late.” Lucy said softly, standing.

Tim took his cue and got onto his feet, meeting her at eye level. “Yeah well I hope you feel better.”

Lucy glanced to her feet, suddenly shy before her T.O. “Hey, for what it’s worth–the things you say do help.”

He nodded. He bid her a silent goodnight before leaving her bedroom. Jackson was waiting in the living room.

“You can crash here if it’s too late to drive back.” Jackson whispered.

“I live 20 minutes away; I should be fine getting home.” Tim replied. He glanced back to Lucy’s door, which she had closed, and then again to Jackson. “Does she always get nightmares?”

“Nightmares, panic attacks.... She wakes up screaming sometimes and she doesn’t even realize it.”

Tim’s heart fell right to his feet. He felt helpless. Lucy was suffering and there was nothing he could do to make it go away.

Lucy made him a better man. When anyone else would have just brushed off his hostility, she saw through the facade. He opened his heart because of her. She meant so much to him, more than he could comprehend or admit.

“Uh well I appreciate you calling me. I’ll show myself out.” Tim said.

Jackson returned to his own room and left Tim alone on the couch. His eyes wandered around the room. He’d never been to Lucy and Jackson’s apartment before. And although they shared the space, Tim saw her personality there. With the meditation and wellness books, the plants, and the tapestry on the wall. The dirty coffee mugs forming rings on the table, and the crystals she swore her peace with sprawled over every surface.

Tim had only been sitting on that couch for barely 20 minutes, getting lost noticing the small personal details around the apartment, when he thought he heard quiet murmurs coming from Lucy’s room. He shrugged it off at first. But he had decided to stay for this exact reason. He listened. And soon, his ear was pressed against her door to try to make out the noises.

He cracked the door open just wide enough that he could poke his head in. Lucy was sleeping with all her lights on. He could see she was restless. Her breathing unsteady, her body unsettled. Even the darkness from the backs of her eyelids was more than enough to trigger her. The silence was worse. She hated hearing her own breath. It reminded her of the barrel. It brought her back six feet under.

She clenched her eyes shut, wrapped her blanket in her fists, and curled into her own protective shell. Tim watched. A part of him wanted to sit next to her. To sit on the floor beside her bed and combat any the demons surrounding her. He was consumed with guilt. He was consumed with a need to protect her, like it was his sole responsibility. But she didn’t need saving. He meant what he said, she saved herself.

Lucy began to stir, her eyebrows knitting together with worry, her pupils flickering beneath her eyelids. It looked like she was about to cry, but she didn’t. Tim took a single step inside, compelled to come to her rescue. But then she settled. Lucy’s face softened, her fist released its grip, and her breathing steadied.

Tim dropped his stance, having been ready to pounce to her rescue just seconds before. His face fell. There was so much he wanted to do. But what could he do? He glanced around her room and saw the himalayan salt lamp. He switched it on, turned off her main lights, and let the room fill with its pink glow before leaving her to rest.

***

Tim leaned back in the bed. He studied the smooth details of Lucy’s face lying beside him. Her eyelashes rested delicately on her skin, fluttering as she slept. Her lips full and supple, parted slightly. Her chest falling and rising as she breathed. Tim wouldn’t mind if all his Sunday mornings were like this.

She shifted positions in the bed, pulling the blanket to her chin. It was obvious she wasn’t ready to wake up yet as she snuggled deeper in the covers. The way she looked, so relaxed and completely unbothered was hypnotizing. Tim didn’t mean to stare. He just couldn’t believe how lucky he was. She had changed his life. She made him better.

Lucy began to stir again. This time, she gave a couple shallow breaths before her eyes drifted open. Her eyelids were heavy; she took her time waking up. Lucy was in a haze, hungover with the bliss of the night before. Following the rays of sunlight peeking through the blinds, it took her a minute to realize she wasn’t home.

She closed her eyes and sighed before rolling over to see Tim’s cocky smile, the smile that both annoyed her and made her blush at the same time.

“Crap.” She said, her voice still groggy from sleep.

“I tried to wake you up.” Tim said, smiling still.

Lucy sat up in the bed, pulling the sheets to her chest, realizing she was still fully naked. “When I come that hard, I usually knock right out.”

“I’ll remember that next time you can’t sleep.”

Lucy laughed, lightly pushing him. Tim faked actually getting hurt, and exaggerated getting knocked down. He reached for her waist under the covers and pulled her body closer to his. Their warm skin touched discreetly. He pressed a soft kiss on her back. She extended her arm, welcoming him for an embrace. She ran her hands up and down his chest while he held her face gently in his hands.

“I like you here.” Tim murmured.

Lucy leaned in, joining their lips together for a tender good morning kiss. His lips felt so right against her’s. She could kiss him all day. “Ditto,” she said, “but I still shouldn’t have slept over.”

“Fine, I’ll kick you out next time.”

“Promise?”

They laughed together. As they settled, they got lost in each other’s eyes. She relished his warmth as they laid there together. Something about being at each other’s side first thing in the morning felt so calming, it felt right. Like this wasn’t just a fling. She could picture them together… Even if Lucy didn’t wanna admit it. Their heads shared a pillow, their bodies exchanging heat, the both of them bare with just a thin blanket to shield them from reality. Everything about this weekend felt like a fantasy.

Her eyes softened, almost to apologize. Before she could say anything, Tim spoke first.

“Don’t go home.” He pleaded.

“I wanna stay.” She admitted, resting her head on his bare chest. “But these past two days have been exhausting and I haven’t been able to sleep it off thanks to you. And if I stay over, I won’t be able to get any rest without you trying to get in my pants.

Tim raised his eyebrows at her.

“I’m not complaining.” She said coyly.

Lucy gave him a timid smile. Maybe it was the danger, the secrecy of it all, or how she felt about him, but this was the best sex of her life. Although she would never admit it. There was no need to further feed Tim’s ego.

She sat up and threw her legs off the edge of the bed. She held her breasts in her arms, sheepishly covering up from Tim who watched without blinking. While modesty was unnecessary at this point, she enjoyed toying with him.

“I left my bra somewhere out in the hall. Can you grab it for me? And the rest of my clothes?”

Tim got out of bed, picked up her panties off the floor and tossed them to her, earning himself a sweet giggle. He found her blouse under the coffee table and her bra hanging off the shoe rack.

He returned to the room and handed Lucy her clothes. She strung her arms through the straps of her bra and extended her arms back so she could do the clasp. Tim came behind her, grabbing the tabs of her bra from her hands and hooking it for her. He tucked his finger under the strap and straightened it against her shoulder, causing Lucy to shiver.

Lucy turned around and thanked him, her stare falling shy as she stood before him.

“Tomorrow at work, we have to play it cool.” She said. “And you can’t look at me like that.”

“What do you mean?” Tim said, smiling bashfully as he pulled her waist in his arms and kissed her soft lips. “Like what?”

She pointed a finger at his face. “Like that. Like you wanna get me naked.”

“I’ll try not to.” He kissed her again. That’s not exactly what he was thinking but he wouldn’t tell her yet.

She sighed against his lips, reveling in the feeling of being in their own bubble before having to return to reality the next day. She wrapped her arms over his shoulders to deepen their kiss. She savoured the way their tongues smoothed against each other, how he brought her waist close to his so their bodies could rest flesh against one another. Lucy kissed him to say thank you for a pleasant weekend, and to passively admit her deep-rooted feelings for him.

Lucy had a good reason for not wanting to stay the night. Sex was simple. For her, it didn’t always mean anything. Just sex. But sleeping together was romantic. That was made absolutely clear to her when she woke up that morning. She liked the way it felt to have his warm body close to her as she welcomed a new day. His face being the first face she saw when she opened her eyes. They kissed before either of them had brushed their teeth. They held each other in their arms in a comfortable silence, saying nothing and everything at the same time.

She had it bad for him. And maybe she was slowly giving in to her heart’s desires.

Lucy got home and took a nap. It wasn’t always easy for her to take naps but today, she was truly exhausted. As she climbed in bed, she reminded herself to seek presence in her mind. Try not to think about how tomorrow might be, try not to think about testifying against O’Connell. So as she closed her eyes, her mind wandered to Tim. And she couldn’t help but smile. She replayed every minute they had shared in the last 24 hours. His touch, his words, his smile…

The next morning Lucy arrived at work early as usual. As she walked into the station, her phone buzzed. She glanced down and saw it was a text from Tim.

**Tim: Get enough sleep?**

Lucy bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.

**Lucy: Not in the slightest.**  
**Lucy: I’ll survive.**

“Oh hallelujah!” Angela’s voice rang through as she entered the locker room.

“What’s up with you?” Lucy asked her as she approached.

“Not pregnant!” Angela proclaimed. She waved her pregnancy test in her friend’s face. And lo and behold, a single pink line.

Lucy backed away, remembering Angela had just peed on it.

“Congratulations? I guess.”

“Thanks.” Angela smiled, tossing the test in the trash. “Had a heart attack this morning when I realized I was late; a baby is definitely not on my to-do list this year.”

“Really?” Lucy remembered what Tim had told her the other night, about Angela, and apparently he was right.

“Not when I’ve just become a detective. I’m not ready to go on mommy-dates with Nyla either.”

Nyla appeared from behind her locker, fully dressed, with a face that looked like she could arrest both of them on the spot just for speaking her name. “Do I look like someone who goes on mommy-dates?”

“No ma’am.” Angela joked. “Should we get celebratory drinks tonight?”

Although she was still unsure of the actual reason to celebrate, Lucy accepted the invitation. She hadn’t gone out with just them since the whole speed-dating debacle. And she was secretly relieved to be asked out again, a stupid worry she carried since the three of them were definitely friends now. It was always nice to know she was a part of something.

“Does Wesley know you took a pregnancy test?” Lucy asked once they were all in uniform, heading towards roll call.

“If he did, do you think I would have had to take it at work?”

As they reached the roll call room, that’s when Lucy saw him.

Tim.

Their eyes met from across the room. Needless to say, Lucy’s heart skipped a beat. Seeing him in person felt different somehow. It was the same Tim she had rode with for a year as a rookie, the same man that stayed with her on nights she couldn’t sleep. But now she was head over heels for him. Undeniably. All she wanted to do in that moment was jump in his arms and let their bodies melt against each other.

But he wasn’t looking at her any different than he had on any other day. She recognized the stern expression he wore every day, with the hint of charm laced in his deep brown eyes.

She quickly snapped herself out of the fantasy. That was over; it was time for the real world. She didn’t know how well her poker face was, but she knew she had to divert her attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited out a cop-heavy scene. I'm gonna avoid them as cops as much as possible. Honestly it's why I put off publishing this chapter. Please tell me I still have readers???
> 
> DO YOUR PART: https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSrT26HMWX-_hlLfiyy9s95erjkOZVJdroXYkU-miaHRk58duAnJIUWKxImRkTITsYhwaFkghS8sfIF/pub
> 
> PLAYLIST: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW?si=DWHTQottSYefKS3rGCMI4A


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And even when you cause tears  
> You're the one who wipe them away
> 
> OR
> 
> Lucy is put in a dangerous position at work. Tim has trouble balancing the trust in their relationship with his TO tendencies.

Lucy’s first stop of the day was at Opal’s, her confidential informant from her days as a rookie. When an item is reported stolen, patrol checks with the surrounding pawn shops to see if it had turned up. It had been a couple months since she’d been, the last time being with Tim. After a robbery call during the midnight shift, Lucy knew it was time to pay her C.I. a long overdue visit.

“Yesterday, a young man walked in here with a $5,700 Rolex. He didn’t look like someone who just had one lying around.” Opal said, showing Lucy the watch. Shiny stainless steel without so much of a scratch on it at first glance. “But his story seemed to line up. Said it was his grandpa’s, gave it to him to sell for tuition money.”

“Looks brand new.” Lucy told her, examining the watch. “Except the serial tag looks like it’s been specifically worn off. Did you get the ID of the kid when you bought the watch?”

“Of course.” Opal handed the officer a piece of paper, a form complete with a name and phone number.

“Good. I’ll look into it. And we might need surveillance footage. You got that?”

“In the back. Where’s the other officer you’re always with?”

“Officer Bradford was my training officer so we don’t ride together anymore.” Lucy said in her cop voice without missing a beat.

“Whew, it must’ve been nice to work with that fine piece of ass every day.”

Lucy scoffed, trying to appear stern but she totally agreed. She cleared her throat. “You’re my C.I., not my friend. We are not having that conversation.”

Opal laughed, seeming to accept that her attempts at gaining personal insight on the officer were pointless. But Lucy smiled within herself. He _was_ a fine piece of ass.

Her next call came not long after leaving the pawn shop.

_7-Adam-17, domestic disturbance at 1401 West Sycamore. Address has history of domestic calls._

Lucy arrived promptly and knocked on the door, only briefly worrying that she was entering a domestic call without a partner. Which she should have never done.

A woman appeared at the door. Though she tried to hide her face, Lucy could plainly see the purple swelling around her eye.

“Ma’am, we received a 911 call and… Did your husband do that to you?”

The woman slowly opened the door wider, revealing her busted lip and bruised face.

“What’s your name?” Lucy asked.

The woman whispered. “You have to go.”

“If you are in danger or you feel threatened, I can help you.” Lucy tried to reassure her. “Is your husband home?”

The woman was quick to shake her head but out from behind her, a man appeared at the top of the stairs.

“What the fuck, Ash? You called the cops?” The man yelled, running down.

“No, I swear I didn’t!” The woman screamed.

It was then that Lucy noticed the man had a kitchen knife in his grip, raising it forward as he reached the last step.

Lucy retrieved her taser and pointed it at the man. “Drop your weapon!”

He ignored Lucy and turned to his wife. “You fucking bitch!” He shouted.

“Sir, place the knife on the ground and put your hands up. Now!” Lucy carefully stepped closer, motioning for the wife to get behind her.

The man eyed the taser tight in Lucy’s grip and raised his hands above his head before slowly setting the knife down on the ground.

Lucy holstered her taser, cuffed him and took the knife. She pulled out her radio and called it in. That sense of accomplishment she had quickly turned to horror when she saw the woman standing in front of them, holding a gun to her husband’s face.

“Ma’am,” Lucy almost stuttered. “I’m going to need you to put down the gun.”

“If I shoot,” the woman said, tears gushing from her swollen eyes, “then it’s self defense, right?”

Lucy stepped in front of her, holding out one hand while the other reached for her own gun Trying to keep her voice calm, she said, “He’s in my custody now. You pull that trigger and you’re facing more serious charges than him.”

“You belong in hell!” The woman twisted her wrist, and in one motion, she had the gun pointing directly at her husband's head, who stood there with fear plastered across his face. Her eyes burned with rage and desperation. She clasped her gun tight in her grip, her arms shaking as she swore threats to herself, her husband, and to Lucy.

The next thing Lucy knew, she had the woman’s gun in her hands.

Backup came, they apprehended the woman, and both were taken into custody. Nobody was harmed. It happened so fast that it almost felt like an outer body experience. It’s like she watched herself do it. With sweat upon her brow, her hands still shaking well after the gun had been taken into evidence, Lucy slowly realized her sudden resurgence of bravery.

Her stomach started to stir. She was gonna be sick.

Lucy returned to the station and was absolutely exhausted. Mentally and physically. She walked into the breakroom, seeing Nyla sitting in there on her phone.

“Hey,” Lucy said to her friend as she walked towards the coffee to pour herself a cup. She didn’t especially like the coffee at the precinct and preferred swinging by a Starbucks or something before work. But given how hectic the day had been, instant would suffice.

“Bradford was looking for you.” Nyla said, not looking up from her phone.

“Oh.” Lucy frowned. “Well, I just finished processing an arrest. Did he say what he wanted?”

Nyla shrugged as she continued scrolling through her phone. In hindsight, her indifference worked in Lucy’s favour.

Like clockwork, Tim appeared in the doorway. Lucy’s heart skipped a beat when she noticed him standing there. His expression softened once he saw her but just as quickly tensed up when he noticed she wasn’t alone. Lucy glanced at Nyla, who hadn’t even looked up, before shooting Tim a reassuring nod. He stiffened, still not saying a word, and tucked his thumbs into his belt.

Then Sgt. Grey came through the door, brushing past Tim as he walked right to Lucy.

“Officer Chen, are you okay?” Grey asked. Lucy appreciated his concern, it never came off like he was only there to check boxes. He often reminded her of her own father.

Lucy stood straighter as she spoke to her commanding officer. “I’m fine, sir.”

“I’m happy to hear that. Good work today.” Sgt Grey nodded at the junior officer and left.

Lucy sighed relief before grabbing her cup of coffee, locking eyes with Tim. She smiled. After a stressful arrest, it eased her soul to see his face again.

“Can I speak with you outside, Officer Chen?” Tim suddenly said, his authority resonating loudly in his cop voice.

She hesitated before following him out. It made her stomach swirl at the thought of an at-work dalliance. He walked down the hall and right into an interrogation room, Lucy on his heels. They went inside. Tim made sure no one had followed or seen them enter before he locked the door behind her.

“Don’t worry, babe, I’m fine.” Lucy reassured him. She reached out and held his biceps in her hands, giving him a convincing smile. “But it’s sweet to see you’re so concerned.”

Suddenly, Tim’s body stiffened. He crossed his arms and knotted his brow. His eyes almost glaring at her like he was mad or something. She immediately swallowed her words.

“What the hell were you thinking?” He demanded.

Lucy’s smile faltered. She stepped back. “Wait, what?”

“You charged a live weapon!” His face was red, twisting into an arrogant scowl. He was fuming.

“I knocked it out of her hands.” Lucy tried to explain. “Are you seriously mad at me right now?”

“Do you understand what could have happened to you?”

“She wasn’t going to shoot!”

“And if she did, what then? You had no backup.”

“But she _didn’t-”_

“You would have been hooked up to wires in the hospital like Jackson. Or worse! You got lucky.” He became harsher and harsher with his tone. It frightened her. “You should never respond to a domestic by yourself. What you did was reckless. It was stupid.”

Then he said something that he shouldn’t have said. If this were months ago, or if she was still a rookie, she would have shrugged it off and let it go. But this time, it was like he had fired a missile into her heart.

Raising his voice in a way too familiar to her, he yelled, “God, I thought I taught you better than this, _boot.”_

Lucy stepped back. She could see in his eyes that he had heard what he said and regretted it. But it was too late.

His face softened into a remorseful expression. He stepped toward her, holding out his hand. But she stopped him, not letting him get near her.

“I specifically asked you not to call me boot.” Lucy whispered. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes but she held them inside, forcing herself not to let Tim reep the benefits of seeing her like that.

Lucy felt a tear forming in the corner of her eye. Fuck, she thought. She turned her face away from him and blinked it away. She mirrored his scowl from earlier, staring him down until she was sure he knew the pain he caused her.

“May I go now, sir?”

Tim said nothing. So Lucy stormed out, slamming the door in his face.

His words stung. The tone of his voice was so harsh. He was loud, so deafening she swore he wanted his anger to be known by the whole precinct. But this wasn’t unfamiliar to her. She hated the fact that it hurt so bad. Him calling her boot and talking down to her the way he did. This was exactly what she was afraid of– he was going to break her heart. Whether he meant to or not.

She wiped the tear residue away with the back of her rest before fixing her posture and returning to work. She glanced at her phone before she could slide it onto her belt. The screen flashed with a missed notification. It was a text from Tim, sent that morning before roll call.

_**Tim: Postmates tonight at your place?** _

Lucy’s heart sank. She typed a reply but deleted it. _I dont know if this offer still stands but I'm busy_

Later at the bar, Lucy didn’t hesitate while ordering. After the day she’d had, she really needed a drink. She and Angela both ordered beer to start while Nyla stuck a glass of wine.

“I’ll stay for one drink but I’m bailing afterwards.” Nyla said to her friends.

“Killjoy.” Angela muttered.

Nyla rolled her eyes, “It’s a Monday night, Lopez.”

“Yeah and I already miss the weekend.” Angela took a sip of her beer like it was sustenance and laughed. “Did you guys do anything fun?”

“I had my kid this weekend.”

“So that’s a no?”

The ladies sat around a small table, enjoying their drinks, exchanging in small talk. Mostly having to do with anything other than work. They talked of in-laws, weekend outings, weird shit they’d seen on social media... 

Lucy, for the most part, had been pretty quiet. Apart from feeling like she had nothing to contribute to the conversation, she was still thinking about Tim. The more she tried to push the thoughts of him away, the more they came crawling back into her mind. She was so angry. She had given him so much of herself in the past couple days just for him to make her regret it. She felt so naive, so humiliated. 

“Chen?” Lucy heard Angela calling her but she had been so spaced out that she hadn’t noticed. “I asked what did you do this weekend?”

She snapped her attention back to her colleagues. They were both looking at her funny. 

“Oh,” Lucy said. “Nothing.”

“I thought Tim said he saw you this weekend?” 

Her cheeks started to burn. No way did Tim tell Angela. Lucy knew they were close but would Tim betray her trust like that?

“He told you that?” Lucy stuttered.

“Yeah...” Angela side-eyed Nyla before smirking. “So what did you guys do?”

_We fucked. A couple times..._

Lucy drank her beer. She was so red. Her palms sweating. Her eyes darted back and forth at her friends who wore knowing grins. They teased her all the time–about anything–and this could just be a bluff. But Lucy was making it way too obvious that she was hiding something. She basically had _I’M SLEEPING WITH HIM_ written on her forehead in Sharpie.

But then she remembered she was mad at him. So it was easier to _pretend_ she hated him… Which she could never no matter what he did.

Lucy rolled her eyes, playing it cool. “We walked Kujo together, that’s all.”

The dog made for the perfect excuse. She had used it twice already. It made her realize she was lying to not only two of her friends, but two cops. Plus Jackson. But they do say that cops make the best criminals… Lucy just had a hard time being an outlaw when it came to her feelings for Tim.

Angela changed the subject. Whether it was because she was tired of probing Lucy for gossip or because she was genuinely uninterested and unsuspecting. Then again, no one paid too much attention to her personal life. The teasing was usually just to annoy her.

“So my brother’s asking me to speak at my nephew’s career day. And I mean, the kid’s in kindergarten so I get that a cop might be more interesting than my brother’s job in, ugh, whatever he does. I just think he doesn’t want the kid to think he’s lame. But I really don’t wanna do it. Like, kids are gross at that age. Plus, we live in LA. There’s probably gonna be a Kardashian there, or an organic juicery store owner or some shit; I can’t compete with that. That’s not how I want to spend a shift. Maybe I’ll get Wesley to do it. I mean, he’s great with kids but I doubt a public defender is gonna keep the attention of a group of four year olds.”

“If anyone is gonna be willing to motivate a bunch of kids to join the force, it’s West. You said he was a cadet or something?” Nyla said, not entirely interested either.

“Can’t ask my boot that was just shot to do me solids anymore.” Angela sighed before shifting in her seat. She rolled her eyes. “Anyway… Ugh, look. Who told _him we’d be here?”_

“Angela, this is the bar everyone from work goes to. You should’ve picked another place.”

“No it’s fine, the guy’s an asshole but he’s still my friend.” Angela waved her hand.

Lucy slowly looked over her shoulder and of course, Tim was standing by the entrance, his eyes searching for them. She was almost startled to see him. And although anger was building up inside her, a couple drinks down the hatch almost made her indifferent to the sight. He was changed into his civvies, his car keys dangling from his fingers, scanning the room. Then he finally saw her. And for a brief moment, their eyes met once again, the way they had millions of times. Longing laced in their pupils. Their hearts swollen with immense feeling. But Lucy quickly turned away.

Even with her back turned, she could feel him approaching the table.

“I don’t remember sending you an invitation.” Angela quipped.

“And I don’t remember you renting out the bar for a private party.” He said, his voice cold and crisp in Lucy’s ears as he stood behind her chair.

She kept her eyes down. She stared at the rings on the table, on the condensation dripping down her cold glass. Lucy didn’t even want to look at him. Partly because he was the reason for her sour mood, and partly because the way she looked at him was a dead giveaway that he still had an effect on her. 

“Can I sit?” Tim asked.

Before he could take a chair, Lucy rose from her’s and headed toward the bathroom. His hand barely brushed her knee as she got up and quickly walked away. She didn’t care if it looked bad. She didn’t care if the second she left, Angela would ask Tim what was going on. She just didn’t want to face him at that moment.

Why did he make her feel this way? He always yelled at her. And what he said to her today was far from the worst scoldings he’s given. She asked him not to call her boot. But she would always be his boot no matter what. No matter how high she ranked, he would always be higher. Maybe that was why it couldn’t work between them.

Lucy went into the washroom and ran her hands under some cold water. She tried to steady herself against the sink and glanced at herself in the mirror. Her winged eyeliner was sharp, her eyelashes curled. She had put the effort in that morning to look good for Tim, to entice him. And now she felt stupid. 

Lucy took a deep breath before pulling the door open only to see Tim standing there, leaning against the wall, waiting for her. 

He looked apologetic. They both stood there in silence, studying each other’s faces in the dim glow of the back hallway where they stood alone. Both of them tried to find the right words to say even though there weren’t any. None that could make them both happy.

“What are you doing here?” She said.

“I wanted to talk to you about earlier.”

“I don’t think you wanna have a conversation with me right now.” She was upset, she was tipsy–and given her low inhibitions, he could easily make her give in to those blue eyes.

“I do.” He said. “I was being an asshole and I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

Lucy shook her head and crossed her arms. “If it were Angela or Nolan– hell, even Jackson, would you have cared this much?”

He didn’t answer. 

“Trust me, I know where the anger comes from.” She said. “If you were in a situation like that, I’d be scared too. Though, I wouldn’t be mad since that’s not my place. But it is yours.”

“No it’s not. I fucked up. You didn’t deserve to be talked down to like that. You’re an exceptional cop and I was wrong to-”

“To call me boot when I asked you not to?”

“Not just that.”

“You were just doing your job.”

“That’s not fair.”

“You’re right. It isn’t.”

The anger built inside her started to fade. Something about seeing him like that, at her feet like he was, softened her rage into heartbreak. This was Tim. The man she knew. The man who trained her, who made her walk outside the shop on her first day of training, who made her fear every day that she was going to lose her job. He was ruthless with his words, pushing her to succeed. He was the guy who pulled her out of the ground and beat her heart back to life. She fell for him. Slowly at first, then all at once. 

“I’m so sorry, Lucy. I know I hurt you.”

She looked to the floor, then back at him. “Okay,” she murmured under her breath.

“But hey, I mean it.” He took her gently by the shoulders, ensuring she saw the sincerity in his eyes when he spoke.

“I know you do,” She tried to smile but felt the blood rush from her face, the heartache in her chest weighing her down to the floor. “But we can’t keep doing this.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What better way to combat writer's block than by asking readers their thoughts? What do you think should be in the cards for Lucy and Tim?
> 
> PLAYLIST  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW?si=1OqHf2gUSjaCyX1Y_xlSoA


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But tell me you feel nothing  
> And I'll leave you as you are

Tim had heard about Lucy and immediately, he was angry. That was his defense. 

He raced to the breakroom to see for himself. That she was okay. And she was. She was standing by the coffee machine, not a scratch on or bruise to disrupt her perfect complexion. She just looked at him with her big, soft eyes.

Things were different between them. He wanted to protect her, he wanted to be there for her. And he’d be lying if he said it had nothing to do with his history of failing to protect the ones he loved. His mother was defenceless against his father's abuse. Isabel thrived to put herself in dangerous situations, causing Tim to worry for days on end. 

But what Lucy did was not in fact reckless, but brave and tactful. Still, he let the worry and frustration get the best of him and he hurt her. Berating her like he was resorting to his old practices.

He couldn’t pinpoint what exactly came over him. And he thought he had put those T.O. tendencies to rest.

When he saw her walk in that morning, she didn’t notice him. But it was almost like a gust of wind smacked him across the face the second she walked through the doors of the precinct. His face turned to her direction. Smelling her scent, feeling her energy pulling at him. She was so beautiful, so immaculate just in her stride alone. So confident, unbothered and relaxed. It took everything in him not to immediately scoop his hand over her waist to twist her body against his. He would laugh as she shrieked at the surprise, watching her settle before pressing a long kiss against her lips.

It wasn’t long before he realized he had been staring. She had disappeared into the locker room and Tim was forced to put himself into check. No matter how he felt about her, he had to keep that part of him quiet. So he stiffened. His face resumed the usual scowl and he went on about his day. Bradford was known to be a lot of things but soft wasn’t one of them. 

Now, he had gone too far. 

As he watched Lucy storm out of that interrogation room, he felt a pang in his chest. She had tried to hide her tears but he saw them as she turned her face away. One drop fell onto her uniform and was quickly absorbed by the wool. Tim immediately regretted his reaction.

His anger stemmed from fear but that was no excuse.

Later that evening, he watched her leave with Angela and Nyla. A sad, detached look on her face as she followed her friends out into the parking lot.

Tim paced the halls before finding himself outside Sgt. Grey’s office. He knocked on the door lightly. Grey glanced up from the pile of paperwork in front of him and gestured for him to come in.

“I’d like to review Officer Chen’s bodycam footage.” Tim said. 

Grey looked at him, confused. “You do know that your last evaluation for Chen was due over six months ago, right?”

Tim opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out.

“Close the door, Bradford.” Grey said. He waited for Tim to shut the door (which he did slowly and nervously, trying to harvest his own thoughts) before continuing. “I’ve watched a handful of your rookies wash out of the program. You are usually ruthless with them. You’re probably the toughest T.O. I’ve ever been in command of. In the best way. But I’ve never seen you treat anyone as good as you treat Officer Chen.”

Tim tried to remain stoic, but Grey’s words came with a shock. He could feel the heat in his face like he’d been caught; he was about to be condemned for what he thought he kept hidden. 

“Sir...” He stammered.

“And that’s not to say she doesn’t deserve her spot on the force. She’s a good cop and that bodycam footage you’re asking for is nothing but a testament to that.”

“Sir, nothing happened between us when I was still training her.” The words fell out of Tim’s mouth like vomit.

“I know.” Grey reassured him, although from Tim’s perspective he seemed unconvinced. He stood from his desk, towering over the younger officer. “But not everyone is going to think that. I’ve known you a long time, Bradford. I’ve seen you through some tough shit. And I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t believe Chen has made you a better person. A better cop, even. However, you coming in here and showing me that you may not be able to separate your personal feelings from your work is a problem.”

Tim Bradford had thought a bullet was hard to take.

He stuttered, struggling to find the correct response. “I assure you it’s not– _we’re_ not–”

“Whatever it is,” Grey said, “you need to figure it out because the police sergeant position is open. If there’s a conflict of interest, that is a very serious issue which you would be responsible to report.” 

Tim immediately felt dizzy. Information was coming at him hard and brisk like continuous rounds of rubber pellets to the chest. Images of Lucy–her smile, her body between his sheets– flashed through his mind. Had he been caught? He knew it was bad to call out Lucy, but taking it to Grey and blatantly admitting to his sins was even worse. What had he done? 

“There’s not,” Tim said. “There’s no conflict of interest, sir.”

Grey nodded, retreating back to a stoic expression that left Tim wondering if he had done enough to convince him. “Good. You start in a month.”

Tim bathed in his regret about what he’d done. The feelings he had for Lucy were the kind that made him want to shout it out for everyone to know. But in Grey’s office, he downright denied it…

All of this and Lucy was still mad at him. 

Tim got into this car and drove to their usual bar: Residuals Tavern. Unless Angela decided on a more expensive, fancier spot downtown, he knew that’s where she was taking Lucy. He spent the car ride over rehearsing what he’d say. In all honesty, he didn’t know what he was going to do. How he was going to remedy the situation. But when he entered the bar and their eyes met from across the room, all he knew was that he was sorry.

She had given him the cold shoulder, brushing him off like dust. And he deserved it. He wanted to hold her hand, pull her aside, and make things right. He wanted to stand on the table and profess his love for her and promise he’d made a mistake. But as soon as he sat down at their table, Lucy rose from her seat and took off. 

“What’s up with her?” Angela asked once Lucy was out of earshot.

Nyla remained quiet; she didn’t care. 

Tim glanced at his hands then shrugged. 

“So is it just a coincidence that you’re here on a Monday night at the same time as us or what?”

“Rough day.” Tim gruffed. He looked up and watched from across the room, Lucy going into the bathroom. 

He kept his eye on the hallway that she disappeared into, waiting for her to reappear from its dark shadows. It might have been 15 seconds or 15 minutes but he’d been staring the whole time, wondering to himself what she must think of him. Pathetic, maybe, for showing up thinking he could earn her trust back. 

“Yo, Bradford, you good? You gonna get somethin’ to drink?” Angela said, snapping his attention back to the table. 

“Uh yeah, I’ll grab a beer. Hold on.” He murmured, before getting up and approaching the bar. He looked over his shoulder, making sure neither his colleagues were watching, before pivoting towards the bathroom. 

The door swung open and she seemed startled to see him. The light from the behind her made her glow, like she was something ethereal in that dark hallway. She looked annoyed but that quickly faded into sadness when their eyes met. Like he’d never seen her. 

They exchanged words. Tim felt the gravity of his actions. And although she never said explicitly what she was feeling, Tim knew just by the way she looked at him. The whole situation was fucked up. _He_ fucked up.

“We can’t keep doing this.” She’d said. 

Tim’s heart sank to the soles of his shoes. He’d done this. He suddenly felt heavy. Consumed with remorse, frustration… pained with the thought of losing her.

“I told you that I didn’t want you calling me _boot_ because it’s degrading. It’s a nickname for _rookies._ I thought I wasn’t a rookie anymore. But you just proved that you are always gonna be my training officer. I’m always gonna be your _boot._ You’ll always be my superior, you’ll always have power over me. I shouldn’t have been offended. But that just reminded me how we can’t seem to keep that separate.”

Sgt. Grey’s words from earlier rang through his ears like a siren. 

“We need to take a beat so we can both figure out what it really is that we want.” She said.

He stepped forward and touched her hand. He locked his eyes with her. He was at her feet, bleeding with sorrow. “I want _you,_ Lucy.”

She pulled her hand away, looking around her for any onlookers. “And I want to be respected as a cop.” 

“I do respect you. I was just being an ass before.”

“It’s not just your respect I need to be conscious of. You know what this will look like? I slept with my training officer and that’s the reason I didn’t wash out of the program. I seduced my way into this position. You’ll tell them that’s not the case, that _Tim Bradford is a man of principles_ , but it’s what everyone is thinking. I move departments and they’ll know there too. My credibility will always be questioned. I won’t be taken seriously. Everywhere I go, I’ll be branded as your slut rookie. 

“It’s different when you’re a woman– even worse when you’re a woman of color. I have to work twice as hard to get half of what you have. I knew what I was getting myself into when I was dating Nolan. And I knew what I was doing when I had to end it. I just can’t have my reputation tarnished so early in my career because of weekend hookups.”

“It’s more than just that.”

She shook her head. “This weekend was fun but I think it needs to stop there. So we can get out while we still can.”

But Tim was already in deep. He was in love with her. He would tell her so now, in a last attempt to keep her but he didn’t know what he would do if her answer wasn’t that she loved him too. 

He would never let anything bad happen to her. That was for sure. He would fight anyone who hurts her. Prove to everyone who doubted her that she’s an exceptional cop who rightfully earned her place. But he also knew that some things were out of his control. He had certain privileges as a white man and highly respected officer with 12 years on the job. The truth was, he would never face the same obstacles Lucy would. If this went sideways, there’s a good chance that he will come out of it without a scratch to his name, while Lucy’s would be dragged through the dirt. Was it stupid for him to assume he could save her from the very pain he would cause?

“Maybe it’s better if we just forget it ever happened.”

“I will never be able to forget it, Lucy.” He said.

“We could end up hating each other.”

“I could never hate you.”

“Well I kinda do right now.” Lucy admitted, her voice sad. “I hate the feeling of being mad at you.”

Tim looked to his feet. They’d been hiding away in that hallway long enough for the others to wonder. But he didn’t care. He couldn’t let Lucy go. The thought made his stomach turn. Deep down, he knew she was right. This was never going to work. She needed time. Time to become independent and recognized for good work in the department. Time to figure out what a relationship between them would mean. So he backed down, but not before one last plea. Because he could see in her eyes that she didn’t want to let him go either.

“The way I feel about you is unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my life. And if there’s anything I could do to reassure you that you’ll never worry about anything, I’ll do it. Because I know you feel what I feel. Don’t throw that away.” 

Lucy let out a cautious breath, like the weight she carried had melted away. Still, there was so much more. It really wasn’t as simple as he could ever promise. That broke his heart. 

He took a deep breath and said, “but I have to tell you that Grey’s offering me the sergeant position.”

She absorbed the information, quietly letting it register in her mind. She curved her lips into a forced smile, while her eyes seemed to have no fight left.

“Well, I guess that settles it.” She said.

Lucy began to walk away from him.

“I’m sorry-” 

She stopped at the sound of his voice. Turning around, she shook her head at him as if to say _it’s okay._ Her forced smile weakened as she tried to shoulder a brave face.

“I came here to have fun with my friends.” She excused herself and left him in the hall. 

He watched her disappear into the crowd of people. The empty space around him caved in.

He watched her from a distance, not wanting to upset her further. He watched crack a timid smile as she returned to Angela and Nyla as if nothing had happened. He watched her start to have fun. He looked on as other men checked out her ass as she leaned over the bar to order drink after drink. It made his stomach curl.

Tim knew Lucy could hold her liquor. She drank like she was going to die without it. What began as a nightcap quickly turned into a party. And she seemed happy without him. 

Lucy hung out at the bar so that was his window to approach Angela and Nyla without making Lucy feel like she was being cornered.

“I think I’m gonna head out.” He told them.

“Yeah, me too. It’s getting late and we all got work tomorrow.” Nyla agreed, standing from her chair. 

“We gotta wait for Lucy.” Angela said, although she didn’t seem too happy to leave. Still, she smiled proudly, pointing their attention towards Lucy at the bar. 

Lucy stood between the stools, her arm on the table holding a beer. A guy leaned against the bar, trying to engage in small talk. His eyes wandered as he spoke to her. Tim could tell, even from the distance, that she was growing uncomfortable. But at the same time, she seemed to welcome the flirting. She nodded along to whatever the guy was saying, even smiling every so often.

“Does she strike you as a girl who would take a guy home?” Angela pondered aloud. 

Nyla scoffed. “I think after what happened to her, she’s definitely got her guard up.”

“I’ve been trying to set her up with one of Wesley’s friends. Tall, dark and handsome. Seems like her type.”

Tim wasn’t going to stand there and watch. He walked right up to her, brushing past everyone that stood between them.

“Lucy,” he said, touching her elbow.

She barely acknowledged him, grabbing her beer from the table and downing the last sip. Her eyes drifted to him, wet and hazy from the plethora of drinks she’d consumed. She wiped her lips with the back of her wrist.

A voice cut in. “You know this guy?” 

“Yeah, she does.” Tim said once he had noticed the doting man with eyes for his girl. “Lucy, can I talk to-”

“He your boyfriend or something?”

A brief silence washed over them. It was almost eerie, as they looked at each other without knowing what to say. 

“No.” Lucy said. Tim knew she wasn’t trying to be harsh. She wasn’t trying to hurt him or entice this other guy, she just wanted to dismiss this conversation and return to her friends. But it still made him feel a kind of way, not being her boyfriend.

“Well in that case, can I get your number?” The guy said, smiling as he looked her up and down. Right in front of Tim. Like he was undressing her with his eyes. 

Lucy stood off the bar awkwardly. Tim, fueled by jealousy and his need to protect her, took that as his cue. 

“No you can’t. Get lost.” He told him.

“Dude, I think the lady can speak for herself.” The guy retorted. He reached his hand out to her and ran the back of his fingers down the length of her arm. 

Tim slapped the guy’s hand away before Lucy could even react.

“Get your hands off me, man.” The guy spat, pushing Tim back by the shoulders. 

Tim stepped back, stunned by the audacity of this man. “Try that again and I can guarantee you’ll be spending the rest of the night in a jail cell.”

Then the guy threw his fist. Tim intercepted the punch with his forearm and in a swift motion, twisted his arm around his back, pushing him onto his stomach and grabbing his wrists. As Tim took the handcuffs from his back pocket, he looked up at Lucy. Her face had a look of horror but not at him. Tim looked around and noticed the whole bar watching them. Including Nyla and Angela, standing two feet from the chaos, dumbfounded, having watched the whole interaction.

“What the-?” Angela said.

Lucy put her hands on the side of her face. But her fingers couldn’t quite hide how red she was. She tossed some cash onto the table before running out of the bar, muttering something he couldn’t hear.

“Lopez, handle this guy for me.” He demanded once he had cuffed him. 

Angela chose to comply without question, taking the guy by the shoulder and standing him up.

Tim ran outside and found Lucy on the curb, her face still in her hands. 

“What the fuck was that?” Lucy yelled, throwing her arms out and pointing to the bar. 

“You clearly didn’t see how that guy was looking at you and if you did, were you entertaining him to spite me?”

“You’re unbelievable.” 

“C’mon, I’m taking you home.” Tim grabbed her hand but she shook out of his grasp.

“No, I’m not trying to fuck you tonight.”

“Keep your voice down.” He hissed, checking his surroundings.

“Oh right, as if Angela and Nyla didn’t just watch the dick wagging contest you initiated, where you fought for my fucking hand.” She pushed him away from her. “I don’t need a white knight, Tim.”

“Give me your keys.”

“Jesus Christ. I wasn’t gonna drive! I was gonna call an uber. Stop being a fucking hero.”

“I’m sorry.” Tim yielded. “But please let me take you home instead.”

Lucy dropped her shoulders and rolled her eyes. She led herself to Tim’s truck and dramatically hopped into the passenger’s seat, making as much noise as possible to show she was still upset. Tim wasn’t bothered at all by her theatrics– slamming the door shut, aggressively clicking her seatbelt in place, slouching in her seat, and crossing her arms– he couldn’t help but think it was cute. She stayed like that the whole way home. 

He pulled up into the apartment complex. 

“I don’t want you to go to bed upset.” Tim said in a low voice as they came to a stop.

She sat up slowly, uncrossing her arms. The game was over. She glanced at him, her eyes gentle again. He thought she was finally going to say something but instead she slowly unbuckled herself from the seat, staring off into a short distance. Taking her time, he could tell in the way she moved, gazing at nothing, that she was deep in thought. 

Then Lucy opened the passenger’s side door and carefully stepped out. It was then that Tim had to lay off. He had his shoulders all tense but once she slammed the door shut, the tension disappeared. Tim had fucked up. He knew that now more than anything. He could accept her being mad at him–that was inevitable–but the betrayal he caused her was something he could not bear.

He watched her walk off, but forced himself to turn away. The sight made his heart ache. The sound of her heels clicking against the pavement, getting softer and softer as she got farther. Still, it was almost deafening in his ears. 

But then her voice rang through the blaring of his anxiety and regret.

“This was more than just a weekend hookup,” said Lucy. “I wanted to convince myself that that’s all it was. Because I’m good at casual sex. I don’t mess that up as much as I mess up relationships.”

He looked up and she was standing 10 feet from him. Even though she was far and it was well into the night, he could see her sadness on her face. 

“I just don’t want this to end with you thinking that I was only in it for the sex.”

Tim looked down at the wheel and when he looked up, she had already walked out of his sight.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment to let me know what you think. Don't give up on Chenford just yet!!
> 
> song playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW?si=GRUx3z72Sn2FmDsskYgpCQ


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And maybe we're a mess, but it works for me  
> 'Cause I know that every time you leave, you come home to me

Lucy had never been in a serious relationship before joining the police force.

In her adult life, Lucy had only ever been serious about two things: her job as a police officer and her relationship with Nolan. And when one interfered with the other, she broke things off with him. The hurt she felt inside was almost unbearable. Although she never dared to show it. Being single after that proved to be for the best. Her focus wasn’t split.

Her aversion to relationships only solidified when she met Caleb. No way in hell would she even look at any man again. She had spent a lot of her 20s in a stir of casual dating. She never let commitment get within a mile of her. For all she knew, that wasn’t going to change. Maybe she prioritized her ambition to be a self-made career woman. Maybe she was scared of ending up with what her parents have– a 30 year marriage with divorce looming on every corner. Maybe she was scared of being buried alive again.

But the truth was that when Lucy loved, Lucy loved hard. And loving Tim meant she would have so much to lose. Giving their relationship a chance meant being willing to fail, and she didn’t know if she was ready for that.

Why couldn’t she have just told him how she really felt? Why couldn’t she say the words? Admit that she...

In any case, it didn’t matter how she felt. With Tim becoming sergeant at Mid-Wilshire, the damage could be twice as bad. Lucy would be a lowly P2 directly under his chain of command. Not only would it look bad but it wouldn’t be allowed. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t already check the LAPD’s code of ethics, hoping to find a loophole. 

She could move departments. Work in a completely different district even. As obscene as intercop relationships look, this was the way they could see each other. But she liked working at Mid-Wilshire. Seeing her friends and working side by side with Jackson was already half the appeal. Would she be willing to give it all up for Tim?

Of course she would be.

Anything for Tim.

To see his face, be held in his arms, and be called his at the end of the day had to be worth it.

But maybe none of that was her main concern. 

This was the sort of thing she would be forced to talk through with her parents.  _ Why is it that you think you are undeserving of love and happiness?  _ She could almost picture her mom asking.  _ Why does the idea of being with Tim scare you? _

Lucy walked into her apartment alone. She switched the light on, dropping her keys and purse on the kitchen counter with a heaviness in her heart. Glancing at her phone, it was only 9:14pm. Drinks felt like hours ago. Her fight with Tim even longer than that. She ran her fingers through her hair and exhaled sharply. She was just glad the day was over.

She started her lazy night routine which only consisted of brushing her teeth and slipping into an old T-Shirt to sleep in. Some nights she’d meditate. It helped her relax. It was important to center yourself after a long day, especially with the work that she did. But tonight, she just wanted the night to end already. She took a makeup wipe to her eye and pulled her hair into a ponytail. She fought the urge to sit on the couch to watch TV while devouring a bag of chips. Sulking was far from allowed.

Then, there was a knock on the door and her heart stopped. 

Tim Bradford was relentless. She didn’t know why today of all days he would be any different. A part of her considered just ignoring him. Let him hear her silence and take a hint. He could fight for her another time. Deep down, she didn’t feel right about leaving him like that. She didn’t hate him. She never could and that’s what she told him. Maybe it was only right to call a truce, let them both find peace in the sudden separation. 

Lucy turned the knob and opened the door slowly. Only it wasn’t Tim. Standing there was Nyla Harper, greeting her with a sarcastic smile on her face. 

“Did you think I’d be someone else?” Nyla asked, amused by her shock.

Lucy must’ve let her jaw hang. 

“Well, aren’t you going to let me in?”

Lucy stepped aside so Nyla could pass. She watched her look around the apartment sporting that famous judgemental glance. Like she had something to say about the space but didn’t. She had never come to her place before. How did she even know where Lucy lived?

“You left in such a hurry, I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

“That’s…” Lucy hesitated. “I’m fine.”

Nyla wandered around the apartment and with every step, she had Lucy on her toes.

“After you guys left, I convinced Angela to let the guy off with a warning. Can’t exactly arrest a man because of jealousy.”

Lucy thought she was gonna vomit. She swallowed hard, her throat suddenly painful and dry. “I don’t know what that was about…”

Nyla quickly cut her off, raising her hand above her waist. “Save it, Chen. Lying isn’t a good look on you.”

Lucy turned pale. She swore she felt the air leave her chest. The floor turned beneath her feet. Like she was gonna collapse.

“You and Bradford…” Nyla whispered. The faint sound echoed with such power around them. Yet her voice was still soft and sympathetic, not at all confrontational like her usual self. Almost nonchalant. 

Lucy looked up from the ground and met her eyes. The way his name fell out of her mouth, so certain and almost like she was disappointed in her, made her feel like Tim was a cardinal sin. She swallowed her shock, managed her dizziness by gripping the kitchen counter. That was enough of an answer for Nyla.

“How did you know?” Lucy whispered, the threat of tears already prevalent in her voice.

“You mean other than the little bar fight and four years of undercover work? Common sense, probably.”

Nyla was always spewing sarcastic and borderline-condescending remarks. That was her nature. That’s what made her intimidating. Lucy admired her for it. Only now she was being oddly nice. A weird turn given the information she’s just been given. Lucy assumed the calvary was going to bust through the doors. But they didn't. It was just them. Still, they kept their voices down as if it wasn’t. And while Nyla wasn’t about to reprimand her, Lucy’s head was still spinning. It was so late. She was still  _ so _ buzzed. This felt like a weird lucid dream.

“I didn’t think you paid that much attention to me. You always seem so singularly focused on the job.” Lucy said, shifting awkwardly against the kitchen counter.

Nyla smiled a little. “You’re part of the job, right?”

Lucy stood there and pondered for a moment. Nyla knew about her and Tim. She definitely wasn’t the first person Lucy thought was gonna know. They weren’t good friends like Lucy was with Angela. She didn’t know a whole lot about Nyla’s personal life and vice-versa. Nyla was almost unapproachable. And while she would’ve never wanted to have this conversation with her, Lucy felt an odd sense of relief knowing she had someone on the outside to talk to. Talk some sense into her. Reassure her that she was right for ending things.

“Was it just sex?” Nyla asked.

Lucy looked to the floor. She thought about Tim. Thought about the sex, the way their bodies felt together. She remembered the kiss they shared Sunday morning and how nice it was to wake up next to him. His stupid smile. The tender way he’d touch her skin under the sheets. The way her heart warmed in her chest when he looked at her. 

Nyla nodded as she saw the look on the younger officer’s face, who was blushing almost. 

“I kinda ended it.” Lucy said.

Nyla’s face softened. “Are you okay?”

Lucy thought,  _ why did it matter if she was or not? _ She was doing the right thing. It didn’t matter if she was still thinking about him because she should have never slept with him in the first place. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lucy shrugged. She still couldn’t quite look Nyla in the eye and that didn’t go unnoticed. 

“You really liked him.”

“Why does that matter anymore?” This time, Lucy said it out loud. “I know what you’re gonna tell me. Being with him is a bad idea. It might not even be worth the risk. But I ended things with him and right now you’re the only one who knows, and the only cop I’m afraid I’ve lost the respect of.”

Nyla looked at her disapprovingly. Giving her major side-eye like she was prepared to walk out the door and give up. Lucy turned red. All she wanted to do in that moment was disappear. She couldn’t face Nyla without feeling ashamed of herself. Embarrassed to have fallen for her T.O. The feeling in her stomach at that moment was exactly what she wanted to prevent– getting discovered and being judged.

But then Nyla shook her head. The side-eye turning quickly into empathy.

“I gained all the respect a police officer could get. I was praised from the higher ups, given a fancy challenge coin from the governor, and had the inability to get fired no matter what I did. I know you see me that way. A badass lady-officer that you aspire to be like. But I don’t want you to be like me. The job isn’t worth it. 

“Sure, it felt great to do the work. Getting bad people off the streets, and getting that recognition... But it cost me custody of my kid. Yeah, I turned things around and eventually got her back, but I will never forgive myself for the time I lost with her. I can’t forgive myself for the nights I wasn’t there to tuck her in when she wondered if I still loved her.”

“That’s not…” Lucy ran dry. “That’s not at all what I thought you were going to say.”

“I’m here because I saw that you’re making the same mistake I did when I put the job first. What you and Bradford have seems real. I see the way you look at each other. I noticed it the minute I saw you together. Even in the way you’re looking right now. You’re throwing those feelings away and for what? Because you think accepting them is gonna make things harder for you?”

“So you’re saying it’s not gonna brand me for life?”

“No, you will most definitely be branded.” Nyla sighed, honest but sympathetic. “It’s gonna suck. We don’t get dealt a fair hand in this business. You’re gonna get dirty looks from fellow officers, people are gonna judge you no matter what. If I can teach you anything about being a woman in a male-dominated industry it’s that it doesn’t matter how people see you as long as you can prove them wrong.”

“I’ll have to move stations.”

“Then you’ll move stations.” Nyla said plainly. “No job is worth it if it keeps you from the ones you love.”

“What about my  _ self _ -respect?”

“You ain’t got it if you let other people's opinions define you.”

Lucy wanted to give her every excuse she could think of. That’s when she realized she was trying to convince herself that she didn’t wanna be with Tim when that’s all she wanted. She was deflecting. She wanted to continue to see him. She wanted to know what it’d really be like to be his. To be more than just his rookie or his friend. Months and months had gone by where he’d make her heart warm inside her chest, enduring the wait for an opening. When she got a taste of what could be, she loved it. And it was unfair to herself to throw it all away. 

Nyla smiled as Lucy came to realize she was right. She could see it on her face. Lucy could feel it in her chest: the heaviness disappearing. 

“I’m not saying you two should walk into work tomorrow holding hands. But, you know, some things matter more.”

“Thanks.” Lucy muttered.

Nyla dropped her shoulders and sighed. “You’re welcome.”

Nyla turned her foot to the door once again. The silence between them filled by looks of reassurance that spoke volumes. Lucy simply nodded at her. Words seemed inadequate at that point. So she twisted the door knob open for her and bid her goodnight. 

Then she stopped in her tracks, a smile formed on her face. Lucy looked up to see what she had seen. Tim was standing there with his fingers curled into a fist, his knuckles inches from the door, prepared to knock. The look on his face was absolutely priceless. Tim’s jaw was dropped, similarly to the way Lucy’s was when she had seen Nyla on the other side of the door.

Nyla looked back and forth at the two of them, trading in her earlier look of compassion to like it entertained her to have caught Tim in the middle of what seemed to be a romantic gesture.

“Chen, you–ugh– forgot your phone in my car.” Tim quickly said, gesturing for his back pocket.

Nyla smirked before glancing over to her side. Both Tim and Lucy reluctantly followed her gaze, only to find her phone laying face down on the kitchen counter where it had been this whole time.

“Save it.” Nyla laughed as Tim tried to defend himself, swinging her bag over her head and across her chest. Keeping a cocky smile on her face, she squeezed past him and got out of the apartment. “Work on the subtlety.” She said and walked away.

Tim and Lucy both watched until Nyla turned the corner and was out of sight. Even with her gone, the two were still hesitant to say a word to each other. Someone knew about them and to Lucy’s surprise, the world didn’t end in retaliation. That was a weird feeling to sit with. Of course, she knew that was far from the worst she was gonna get, but something about overcoming this first hurdle gave her a sense of ease. 

So she let her eyes drift to Tim, who stood there in the door frame still a tiny bit baffled. Then he took a breath, realizing that it really was just the two of them again like he’d pictured in his head five minutes ago. His deep blue eyes turned to meet her’s.

“What if I turned down the sergeant position?”

She cocked her head at him. “Don’t be ridiculous. You already gave up the position once for me-”

“And I’ll do it again.” He said. “I’ll do it again if it means we can be together.”

Lucy was speechless. She just stared up at him, trying to absorb his words as best she could. His face bore no trace of hesitation. 

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I’m just asking for you to give us a chance, Luce.”

He sounded so defeated. As if he was on his last bit of strength. She could see the desperation in his eyes, glistening with the promise that he would do anything for her. Her heart started to ache. This was Tim. The man who never really left her, who never really gave up on them. 

“No, I mean…” She murmured. 

Finding that she was struggling to find the right words and realizing there weren’t any, she kissed him instead. Her lips were quick to find his like that’s where they were meant to be. He almost stumbled back–surprised– but soon settled in what felt right. 

She pulled away slightly but she didn’t let him stray from her. They kept their heads so close that they could only see each other. He was already holding her gently between his fingers, waiting for a response or explanation.

“I want you.” Lucy said simply. No ounce of uncertainty to it. So she said it again. “I want you.”

She pressed her lips against his again. This time with more passion and warmth. She held onto his back as they stumbled into the apartment. The door basically kicked itself closed. 

“The sergeant’s position-” he panted into her mouth.

She relocked their lips together responding. “Take it.” She told him.

“What about-?”

“Some things matter more.”

He kissed her again but pulled away to look at her. He felt her face in his hands. The tabs of his fingers delicately hung off her cheekbones. She had that sparkle in her eye that reflected right back into his.

Lucy smiled at his gaze, nuzzling her nose against his and closing her eyes. “How is it that I can’t go one day being pissed at you when before I could do it for weeks on end?” 

“Because you’re just as crazy for me as I am for you.” 

He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her into the air. He let her weight fall against him as he held her and found her lips once more. 

“We need to celebrate you getting that third chevron on your sleeve,” she whispered as he set her down, “with make up sex.”

She nudged his nose playfully against her’s. When he went in for the kiss, she smiled and retracted slightly, giggling. She moved her head along to his every effort, dodging him, making him work to find her mouth again. While he enjoyed the teasing (he got so lost in trying to get to her that he didn’t even notice her hands caressing his inner thigh) he was desperate to kiss her again.

He gently took her ponytail out and the waves cascaded down her back. Tim tangled his fingers in her hair and held her head against his. Slowly, he moved closer and closer. This time it was her turn to wait. He could see her eagerness in the way she pouted her lips forward, reaching for his. Finally, they met in the middle, joining their lips in a passionate kiss.

Nothing else mattered. Lucy felt so safe in his arms, so cherished and so sacred.

They stumbled into Lucy’s room and onto her bed. Their bodies were intertwined, neither of them willing to separate even for a second. But the clothes had to come off. So Lucy pulled his shirt over his head, smothering kisses on his chest and abs to close the brief gap between their bodies. He was already unbuttoning her blouse, ripping it off her shoulders along with her bra to expose her breasts. He took a handful of her in his palm and massaged the supple skin. She moaned into his mouth.

They got completely undressed. Tim caged over her, planting sporadic kisses everywhere. Her chest, her stomach, her thighs. She squirmed around beneath him, trying to keep her eyes open to watch him even though she struggled to keep them from rolling back at. 

Tim saw an almost mischievous smile graze her face. She sat up, gripping him by his shoulders before pushing him onto his back.

“I’m on top.” She said, making it very clear that she was the one in control this time. 

Tim chuckled and more than willingly let her climb onto him. He watched as her legs draped over his body, placing each knee at his sides. Her body was so full and beautiful. Every curve, ever dimple, every bit of her was something for him to gape at. He followed each detail up her body leading up to her face. She was almost angelic but with such devilish ambitions.

“So gorgeous.” He said, running his hands over her thighs straddling him.

Lucy took his dick in her hands and stroked him slowly, blushing. She jerked him off with one hand and caressed his chest with the other. She watched him groan and disappear into nirvana. 

She adjusted herself and put him inside her, slowly guiding her hips down to take all of him. She threw her head back so fast it almost gave her whiplash. She grinded against him unhurried at first before picking up speed. She rocked her hips back and both, her hands on his chest as an anchor. He held her waist and guided her. Their sounds fusing together as they enjoyed each other’s bodies.

“Ahh-” she choked out, circling her hips until she felt him reach her sweet spot.

He hooked his arm over her back and pulled her body against his. He thrusted up and into her, running his tongue up and down the length of his neck as she choked out moans of gratification.

“Don’t stop-”

“Mhmm, baby…” He whispered into her chest. “You feel so good.”

Something about the praise and him moaning for her sent her over. He held her tightly, feeling every bit of her convulse in his arms. A satisfied Lucy cried out unapologetically before clutching onto him. He picked her up and tossed her onto her back. She interlocked her fingers around the back of his neck, holding his forehead to her’s as they continued to fuck. She closed her eyes and felt his lips press against her temple, staying there for a minute before she turned her face to meet him for another kiss. 

A couple more rounds of heated makeup sex brought them to 11:30. If they could fight that intensely, the reparations had to be mind-blowing.

They continued to lay together until midnight. She laid her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat against her ear. She traced words she couldn’t yet say out loud onto his chest while he ran his fingers up and down her back. 

“What is it?” Lucy asked, noticing the pensive look on his face.

He looked at her. “I think Grey knows.”

She remained calm. Sex put her in that happy sleepy state. The news didn’t faze her. It might have also been the fact that she had come to the realization that she was willing to shoulder the consequences for him. She was no longer torn, especially in his arms.

“But I told him we’re not…” He trailed off.

_ “Oh.” _

“Yeah.”

Lucy sat up and faced him, holding herself by her elbow. He looked remorseful, like he was guilty of something. So she smiled to try to reassure him that it was alright.

“I don’t want you shouting about us from the rooftop just yet.” She told him.  _ “Especially _ not to Grey. Promise to keep it a secret?”

“Promise.”

“And promise we’ll keep work separate. There, you may be the senior officer but here…” She ran her fingers against his abs under the sheets, smirking flirtatiously. “...We’re equals.”

He guided her hands to his shoulders before gently rolling her over onto her back. He hovered over her body. She lifted her head off the pillow and he leaned forward, meeting for a kiss. One of hundreds shared in that night alone but each one was just as special as the last. 

“Deal.” He said, rolling to her side again. He pulled her body close to her and cradled her in his arms, making her feel safe.

They stayed like that for a moment before Lucy nudged him.

“Out.” She commanded.

“Really?” 

“Mhmm.” She pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. “You gotta earn that shit. Maybe next time.”

“You don’t think I’ve earned it?”

“You’re on probation.”

Then they were laughing. He made his amends six times over. She could still feel it in her nerves. Of course, Tim had to be outstanding at everything he did. Sex was no exception and he didn’t disappoint. But Lucy wouldn’t want to let that go to his head. No matter how good he was.

“No, you need to get back to Kujo.” Lucy told him. “Poor baby’s probably waiting at the door for his Daddy.”

“Right.” He nodded. “Wouldn’t wanna come home to a pee-stained carpet.”

He rose from the bed and started to dress. She watched him, already missing his body next to hers but, she still enjoyed the view of him standing naked in her bedroom. Her heart swelled in her chest. Lucy never felt this way about anyone. Tim was everything to her. 

“What is it?” He asked, catching her stare.

Lucy blushed before smiling at him. “I’m just glad I’m choosing you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone still reading?? Please leave a comment if you liked this chapter (or if you hated it) it really helps me out a lot! What do you think would be the perfect date for Tim and Lucy?
> 
> song playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW?si=GRUx3z72Sn2FmDsskYgpCQ


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not the pale moon that excites me  
> That thrills and delights me, oh no  
> It's just the nearness of you.
> 
> OR
> 
> Tim and Lucy go on a long awaited date.

When he saw her the next morning in the parking garage, he knew it must’ve been fate. No one else was there. Usually their colleagues crowded within these concrete walls as they piled in for morning shift. But this time it was just Tim and Lucy.

He got out of his car and saw the bright orange Datsun pull up a couple spaces down. He smiled. She didn’t notice him at first, her focus solely on flawless parking. He relished the sight of her. Beautiful in everything she did. Breathtaking when she wasn’t trying to be. Tim walked up to her car. A couple steps away, Lucy looked up and when she saw him, her face lit up. Quickly, she calmed her heart-eyes and climbed out of the driver’s seat. They nodded at each other civilly.

Then Tim turned around one last time to make sure they really were alone before pulling Lucy behind a van. Concealed from any passers-by, he joined his lips with her’s. She melted. She was tasting his kiss before she even had her first sip of coffee. And this kiss was more than enough to wake her up. She savoured this moment. Lucy found herself holding onto his shoulders, his arms around her waist as he kept her body flesh to his.

They slowly pulled back, both of them realizing they could go on forever if they didn’t restrain themselves. She kept her eyes closed for a second, feeling blissful, before opening them to see him smiling back at her.

“I’ll never get tired of that.” He chuckled, smoothing his hand over the side of her blushing face.

“Of kissing me?” She asked.

“Saying good morning to you like that.”

She grabbed a handful of his shirt in her fist and pulled his mouth to her’s, giving him a quick peck that left him (and her) wanting more.

“Good morning.” She teased him, releasing him from her grasp. As he stepped back, maintaining a friendly distance, she used her fingers to straighten out the wrinkles she’d created on his shirt. She gazed at him, smirking at her like a lovesick idiot before she let out a sigh. “You don’t suppose those cameras are gonna be checked today?”

She nodded towards the security camera hung at the top of a stall nearby. They were conveniently hidden in a blind spot, the van obstructing their view, but they couldn’t be sure. Tim hadn’t even thought about surveillance footage until Lucy pointed it out. 

He tucked his hands in his pockets, playing it cool. “Let’s just hope all the crime happens _outside_ the station.”

She nodded and stepped out from their hiding spot, Tim following as they made their way inside. They were careful not to walk too close, or look too happy. 

“So should I be thanking Nyla for last night?” Tim said in a hushed tone. 

Lucy raised her eyebrows quizzically, careful not to make explicit eye-contact with him as they approached the side entrance. “Did you have sex with _Nyla_ last night?”

Tim laughed, almost turning red. He knew she was teasing him. He knew there was no one in earshot. But this was uncharted territory for him. 

“You got your poker face ready, Officer Bradford?” She said, putting a hand on the door handle.

He gave her a little smirk then that famous Tim Bradford no-nonsense glare. He put his hand on the door and pushed it open for her. It was going to be little gestures like that to ease them over during work hours. That’s the way it had to be until Lucy transfers.

She arrived at the locker room and got into her uniform. A routine that she would find tedious on any other day. But today, Lucy was in a great mood. Her heart had been heavy with her indecisiveness these past couple days. Today she felt energized. Like she could fly from the happiness in her heart. The surprise, forbidden, good morning kiss from Tim was definitely the thing to set her heart ablaze.

She was tying her hair up in a sleek bun when Nyla walked in. 

“Hey,” Lucy said, facing her with a cool smile.

Nyla turned and simply looked Lucy up and down. “Hey,” she responded, not quite matching Lucy’s enthusiasm.

“I just thought I should thank you for your advice last night. I really do look up to you so, you know, it meant a lot.”

“So I take it you guys worked it out?”

“Yeah,” Lucy blushed, thinking about the night before. “After you left we ended up-”

Nyla scrunched up her face. “Actually, I really _really_ don’t wanna know.”

Lucy laughed, slightly embarrassed while also finding Nyla’s casual indifference really funny. As if she would ever tell anyone about their heated reconciliation. Especially not her co-worker.

“I’m gonna talk to Grey sometime this week about transferring.” Lucy said instead. 

“Good. We’ll miss you.”

“Morning, viejas!” Angela chirped as she walked in, a coffee in one hand, a lunch bag full of snacks in the other. “Why are we gonna miss Chen?”

“‘Cause she’s about to leave this locker room.” Nyla said without missing a beat.

Angela looked at Lucy who just shrugged and turned a heel.

“If I find out you guys are hanging out without me, I’m gonna be pissed!” Angela said loudly as Lucy left the room.

Lucy dove into work and kept her focus on the job. But the day was slow. When she was alone in her shop and calls hadn’t come in, she smiled to herself. Smiling like an idiot. Smiling so much that if anyone saw her, they’d think she was on crack. She couldn’t help it. When she pressed her lips together, she could feel Tim’s again. She could taste him. It led her down a train of thought that made her stomach flip inside out. He was so hot. They were so hot together. And maybe it was for the best that they weren’t riding together anymore. If they were, Lucy wasn’t so sure she would be able to keep her hands off him. 

She imagined him bending her over the hood of the shop, holding her tight against him, and whispering filthy things into her ear. _Whew…_ Lucy was careful not to get too carried away.

Tim was thinking about her too. If he could speed up time so this agonizing shift could come to an end, he would. Since that meant getting to have her in his arms again. He would see her at lunch, maybe pass her by on a scene, but only allowing themselves civil glances. What he really wanted to do was make her blush, see her laugh. One hour down, seven more to go... 

Tim drove back to the station after making a public indecency arrest.

“What am I being arrested for?” The naked man in the back of his shop barked.

Tim rolled his eyes. He brought the guy in for processing. There were a million things he would rather be doing. Besides paperwork, he enjoyed this part of the job the least. Sometimes suspects were smug, sometimes they were sad, and this time they were naked and sweaty. He couldn’t wait to take that sergeant job. He was tired of this same routine he’d been doing every day for the past decade. The only thing he cherished before becoming sergeant was the ability to see Lucy every day.

Not long after, she walked in with her own arrest. She sat them on the bench, taking their shoes. Again, she didn’t notice Tim when she walked in. Lucy was always so focused. She wasn’t constantly looking for an excuse to wander to him like he did. She was in command, no bullshit, but still sympathetic. That’s not something Tim taught her, but rather a lesson she taught him. When she did look up, it was right after she finished. She was already one foot out of the door, ready to get back on the streets when she found Tim had been looking at her. Almost smiling, almost indiscrete.

They couldn’t smile at each other without giving themselves away. But for a brief moment, they locked eyes. No matter how short-lived or inadequate it was, it was still intimate. It was still _their_ moment. For the rest of the week, they exchanged glances that looked harmless to the naked eye. Only they themselves knew what they really meant. If anything, the secrecy and scandal of it all only fueled their desire for each other.

The rest of the week was long and merciless. When Friday night finally came, Tim was more than eager to pick her up for their date. He didn’t tell Lucy what he had planned, even though she just about pestered him about it every day. 

“You gotta let a girl know where she’s going. I’ll need to dress accordingly.” She lamented when he came to her apartment to pick her up. She was still in her bathrobe, rummaging through her things. 

Tim watched as she ran around her room, throwing pieces of clothing out of her closet left and right. He couldn’t help but muse over her distress. It really didn’t matter what she wore. She was beautiful in everything. He had told her that a million times already. 

“Can you give me a hint at least?” She asked, whipping her head out from the closet.

He kept a tight lip and instead snuck over to her, pulling her back against his chest, and finding his face a spot around her neck. She smiled, relaxing against his body. He tucked his fingers inside her rope and lightly smoothed them across her bare torso. She held onto his arm, sighing in response. Her eyes fluttered closed. That’s the touch she’s been waiting for all week. Suddenly, she really didn’t care what she was wearing because now she wanted to wear nothing at all.

He kept stroking her skin while she blindly reached for him.

“If we have sex right now, you might just fall asleep and miss our date.” He whispered to her, his bottom lip grazing her ear.

“Is it bad that I’m willing to take my chances?” She said in a shallow breath. She wanted him now. They had waited all week and her body couldn’t take it anymore. The heat was like fire between her legs.

He wrapped his arms around her stomach and hugged her tighter, planting a kiss on her cheek before pulling away. This caused her to pout. And she made sure Tim saw.

“Fine.” She said, playfully scowling at him. 

He sat on the edge of her bet, smirking at her. But two could play at that game.

In one swift motion, she shed the robe. She had worn her matching black bra and panty set entirely for this reason. Now, Lucy was the one smirking as Tim sat there with his jaw basically on the floor. He gaped at her body. How she practically spilled out of the sheer lingerie, leaving almost nothing to the imagination.

“Then wait outside while I get dressed.” She demanded, pointing to the bedroom door. 

Tim bit his lip. _On second thought, going out is overrated._ But before he could say anything, Lucy had already pushed him out of the room. He was definitely gonna get her back in just those panties afterwards.

She came out not even five minutes later in a pair of black skinny jeans and a white long sleeve blouse. Her hair curled loosely and falling down her back. Although she didn’t know where they were headed, she could kind of match Tim’s vibe. He dressed casually. Black trousers with a grey field jacket over a white T-shirt.

They got into the car. Lucy squirmed in anticipation, staring out the window for any clues. But she couldn’t tell. She knew how Tim was as a T.O. and as a friend, but she didn’t know what to expect from him as a boyfriend.

Tim pulled the truck into a stop. Lucy looked out into the night to find they were parked right outside Tim’s house.

He saw her frown but quickly reassured her, “I just need to grab something.”

He jumped out of the driver’s seat and shuffled into the house. A minute later, the front door opened and out came Tim with a smiling Kujo on his leash. 

Lucy just about melted. 

“Hope you don’t mind a third wheel.” Tim said, opening the door and letting Kujo jump onto her lap.

She laughed, her heart exploding. Kujo gave her a million happy kisses. “Honestly, _you_ are the third wheel now, Tim.”

Driving up the 405, the radio on, the night sky blurring past them. He listened as she alternated between quietly singing along and whispering little things to the dog. He drove her to Sherman Oaks, to one of the best views of Southern California. 

“I didn’t take you for a romantic-evening-lookout type.” Lucy said as they parked.

“Don’t be too surprised. I still think sunsets are overdone.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. 

Tim got out of his seat and ran over to Lucy’s side. She had already begun to open her door but he took her hand anyway. Kujo jumped onto the dirt ground and she followed.

She walked Kujo a little, not going too far, just to let him pee. And when she turned around, Tim had already set up the back of his truck. He laid out blankets and pillows, perfect for a romantic picnic under the stars.

“Surprise.” Tim said.

“Oh my god.” Lucy breathed, her hand holding her heart.

They sat in his truck with Kujo nestled cozily between them. Under the open sky, where the faint glimmer of stars shined above. But that was no match for the lights of Los Angeles twinkling at their toes. It really was romantic.

They each had a glass of wine. And it wasn’t long before they themselves had snuggled up together under the blankets, their heads sharing a pillow, as they looked up at the night sky.

“So I’m headed to New York next weekend to visit Rachel.” Lucy said.

“After court?”

“Yeah my flight is the next morning.”

They went quiet. A moment passed. It wasn’t awkward. Not really. Tim and Rachel had been broken up for a year now but the subject never came up in conversation until now. In fact, he’d even forgotten about her. 

“Are you gonna tell her about us?” He asked.

Lucy shifted in his arms, getting more comfortable. She clearly didn’t worry about it as much as he did. “You think I should?” 

“If you want to.”

“She is my best friend.” Lucy contemplated. “And it’s not like it’d the first time we’d be eskimo sisters.”

She just knew from his abrupt silence that he had grown uncomfortable.

“What? Too much information?” She asked, trying not to laugh. “Don’t let this go to your head but you’re a big part of my life now and it’d be nice to share that with her.”

“I don’t know. It’s just weird to think that you guys would be talking about me.”

“Oh, don’t think too highly of yourself. Believe it or not, we don’t talk about you.” She mimicked his deep voice, forcing a laugh out of him. She smiled as his discomfort faded. “I know it’s weird but you guys ended things on good terms right?”

Tim said nothing. Part of him was glad that she laid on his chest, unable to see the expression on his face. The one that would tell her that she hadn’t been told the whole truth about their breakup. About how he was ashamed at how he ended things. But that was in the past. Now, he could only think of Lucy. The way he had her legs tangled with his. How he’d miss her when she was gone.

Lucy rested her head on his chest. Right where she liked to be. Tim traced his fingers down the small of her back, pulling her closer to him with every touch. Tim had turned on the radio. Soulful R&B and a hint of jazz playing softly into the night. He closed his eyes and listened to the sweet sound of her voice. She had been quietly humming along without even realizing it.

“Can you sing for us?” Tim said softly, kissing the top of her head.

“What makes you think I can sing?” Lucy joked. 

He’d heard her sing a million times. If not in the shop during training, then drunk at karaoke bars. And he could never forget her mesmerizing performance at Angela’s wedding.

“Do you come from a very musical family?” Tim asked. “A voice like that must come from somewhere.”

“Uh not really.” Lucy said. “No one in my family sings. Although we were all forced to learn piano at a young age.”

“You play piano?” 

“Yeah but not very good.”

Tim doubted that. She was always downplaying her abilities. Knowing Lucy, she just wasn’t aware of how amazing she was. Even after her accidental American Idol audition, she maintained that she was not a singer. That she couldn’t believe she had gotten a golden ticket (which was later given back after they explained the mix-up). But Tim loved when she sang. During patrol, he pretended to ignore her in the shop while he secretly listened. Her voice was like an angel’s. So beautiful, so soulful, and rich. 

“I really only play when I’m at my parents’ place. That’s where my piano is. I’m literally almost thirty and they still make me play whenever their friends are over.”

“Were they pretty strict growing up?”

“You mean, were they ‘tiger parents?’ No.” Lucy scoffed at the thought. “If anything, they understood the psychological damage that that kind of parenting can cause. They just expected certain things from me– good grades, model behaviour– which is true for a lot of immigrant parents.

“I actually had a pretty good childhood. You know, apart from them forcing me into therapy. But even that helped me in the long-run. My parents were great growing up. When they were struggling financially, they still tried to make it work. We even went to Disneyland a couple times.”

Tim was quiet. He never had that. He couldn’t play piano. He didn’t go to Disneyland. He knew a lot about football but that was only because that was the only thing he and his dad could do together without the latter lashing out.

“I’m sorry,” Lucy said, noticing his face had gone sullen. She turned slightly to him, her body still against his, and smoothed her hand over his cheek. 

He got lost in her eyes. What happened to him growing up didn’t matter anymore. Not when he had Lucy. She seemed to care for him, make him happy, and make him feel safe enough to make up for what he never had as a kid. The love he was deprived of as a child was made up for in the way she looked at him alone.

He brought her closer to him, letting her head return to his chest.

“I should take you to Disneyland.” Lucy whispered.

He scoffed. “Fat chance.”

She laughed.

Her hands wandered under his shirt, her fingers scratched his abs lightly. His skin was so warm on her fingers. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, keeping her snug. Nights in LA were chilly these days, but they found warmth in each other.

Kujo had fallen asleep beside them. They were so comfortable in the quiet that they lost track of time. Tim had been taking in the sight. Lucy and Kujo: the most important beings in his life. Her holding him like a baby. The three of them like a family. He fell in love with this moment. The view before them was beautiful but Tim’s view was even better.

Just as he thought the night couldn’t get any more perfect, Lucy began to sing.

_“It's not the pale moon that excites me_

_That thrills and delights me, oh no_

_It's just the nearness of you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think! What's next for these two lovebirds?
> 
> playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW?si=GsbwJFvyT1G92HjGbpS-yw


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boy, it don't get no better than you  
> For you, I wanna take my time

“Babe, I’m gonna be late.” Lucy moaned, while not really doing anything to stop Tim’s advances. 

He was kissing her neck. Biting and sucking her skin. She had hardly even woken up and he was already trying to get moans out of her. Succeeding, of course. He grabbed her ass from under the sheets and pulled her closer to him. He knew she liked the thrill of morning sex. The race against the clock. And on any other morning, she would have been the first to initiate.

“I’m just trying to get you to relax.” He whispered against her jaw, his hands wandering.

She sighed at his touch. “It’s my first time going on the stand; I’m nervous.”

“You’re gonna be fine.” He reassured her. 

He rolled her onto her back and hovered over her body. She closed her eyes. He laced his fingers with her’s. His lips trailed from her jaw to her chest, kissing the dip between her breasts. She held his head, gently guiding him where she wanted him. He glided his tongue all around her breast before wrapping his lips around her nipple. She bit down on her lip. The musky smell of last night’s affairs still potent in the sheets.

They had been spending every night of the past week together. First it was Lucy saying, “fine, you can stay the night but only because I’m afraid you’ll get into an accident thinking about my mind-blowing blowjobs.” Then it was her just getting too comfortable in his arms for him to leave. Or they’d fall asleep talking or watching a movie. Eventually, they found themselves unable to be alone at night. More specifically, they were unable to be without each other.

He kissed her stomach before Lucy reluctantly brought his face back to hers. As much as they liked fooling around first thing in the morning, she really was going to be late. 

Lucy tossed the sheets and rolled out of the bed, unashamedly butt-naked. Just the way she liked to be when she was with Tim. Deliberately teasing him as she walked in the other direction because she knew full well that Tim was staring. It took everything in him not to take her hand and urge her back under the sheets. 

She walked into the bathroom, kicking the door behind her ajar. Tim laid back down in her bed and listened as she turned on the water. It wasn’t long before he took the hint.

“You know, we’ll save time  _ and _ water if I join you.” He called out from the crack in the door, listening for a response. “Lucy?”

“Get in here already!”

While they didn’t exactly save time, they didn’t waste it either. 

He pulled the shower curtain back, finding Lucy’s body to be wet and glistening. The water rained down her neck and breasts. Her hair slicked back, dripping onto her ass. Irresistible. She was grinning at him, watching him impatiently as he stripped his briefs. As soon as he stepped in the tub, Lucy pulled him under the showerhead. Their bodies smashing together as did their lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning against his chest.

He moved his mouth to her neck, then her shoulders, and then her chest. Running his tongue down her body and feeling her squirm with so much want.

“Make me come,” she asked him in a hurry. They didn’t have a lot of time. Shower sex was already pushing it. But Lucy wanted the release so badly. 

He kneeled in front of her. Kissing her pelvis, he picked up her leg and wrapped it over his shoulder. She leaned against the tile and held his hair in her grip to keep steady. Without any more teasing, he dove right into her. Placing his tongue right between her fleshy center. Lucy wailed with pleasure.

“Oh my  _ god!” _ She exclaimed, grinding down on this mouth. Her toes curled at his back, her fingers scratched blindly at the tiles, her knees starting to give out from under her. But Tim held her in place. 

He slipped his fingers between her legs. Massaging her folds and rubbing her clit with care before plunging them inside her. His mouth returned to her slit, lapping her arousal. The water fell mercilessly onto his face to the point where he almost couldn’t breathe. But Lucy’s excitement was too good to pass up. She was crying out with every breath. His tongue worked her clit while his fingers stayed knuckle deep inside her, savouring her irresistible warmth.

She was moaning his name over and over. He responded by humming and breathing harsh breaths on her sensitive spots. He was insanely good at this. 

“Tim, I’m so close-” she spat, pushing his head so there was no space left between them.

He kissed her pussy, the sound of his lips smacking against her skin so resonant that it sent chills up her spine. A couple more thrusts, his other hand vigorously rubbing her clit, and his mouth kissing wherever she needed him, she came so hard she almost fell to her knees. He kept his hands between her legs, massaging her slowly as he stood. Lucy threw her arms around his neck, allowing him to hold her up while she kissed him deep. 

“Are you still nervous?” Tim asked her afterwards as they got dressed. He wore a cocky grin on his face. If her sounds in the shower were any indication, she was more than fine now.

“I’m ready.” She said confidently as she pulled a blouse from her closet. “All I gotta do is get through this morning and tomorrow I’ll be in New York enjoying a girls weekend.”

He noticed her wander off into a daydream as she thought about her trip. He sure was gonna miss her. Even if it was only for three days. Having her around became second nature to him. He knew he would see her every day. He knew they would sneak off together after work and spend the night. It almost seemed unimaginable what he’d do without her. As if he’d forgotten what his life was before all this.

He went into the kitchen and made some coffee while Lucy finished getting dressed. A little while later, she stepped out wearing white blouse tucked into a deep blue pencil skirt that hugged her curves beautifully. Her hair pulled into a low ponytail at the base of her neck. She was putting in her earrings (subtle studs so not to be a focal point) in front of the mirror when she noticed Tim in the reflection marveling at her. She didn’t say anything at first. Not to disrupt the moment. She liked that he looked at her that way. Like she was all he saw. It made her feel beautiful. It made her fall for him ten times harder.

Tim came up behind her and kissed her cheek once again. “Are you sure you don’t want me going to the courthouse with you?” He asked, holding her waist at his fingertips.

“I’ll be fine. Besides Jackson will be there, remember?” 

“Then I’ll see you tonight?” 

She nodded, turning her neck and letting their faces come in for a tender kiss. He put her hand at the back of her neck, keeping her forehead against his. 

“You’ll do great.” He reassured her. 

Her big, worried eyes bat open to meet his. She smiled, grateful now more than ever that she had him.

* * *

Lucy arrived at the courthouse, nerves running up and down her spine. Her first preliminary court hearing. Her first time really thinking about the attack since it happened. Although she had been incredibly anxious in the back of her mind, she had a pretty good distraction going. With Tim around, she never even thought about anything else. She did secretly wish he was there. Just so she could look out into the gallery, see his face, and remember that everything would be okay no matter what. But they still had to be smart. Between Tim’s absence from patrol and Jackson seeing him at the courthouse, that would be a dead giveaway.

Lucy heard the doors open behind her and she turned around, immediately smiling as she saw Jackson walk in hand in hand with Sterling. He was wearing a suit. Although the jacket was draped over his cast and sling. She walked over and gave him a big hug.

“Damn!” He told her, looking her up and down. “You look like a snack.”

Lucy laughed. “Too sexy for the stand?”

“Maybe a little.” He teased.

She looked down at her outfit. The possibility of Tim tearing the clothes from her body definitely influenced how she chose to dress. Just the thought alone ignited the fire within her. He was like a drug to her. And she ached whenever she wasn’t within him. 

“You feeling okay? You look a little red.”

Lucy snapped her head forward, unaware she had spaced out. Maybe Tim was too much of a distraction.

The three of them walked into the gallery together, finding Wesley there waiting for them.

“Don’t worry, I’m not working this case.” He told them. Relief washed over the two officers. It was one thing to be in court, and another to have to be cross examined by your friend. Thank god druglords don’t hire public defenders. “I’m just here for moral support. 95% of preliminary hearings go to trial. This one is gonna be a breeze.”

“You sure?” Jackson asked, hesitation peaking out in his voice.

Wes turned to him, eyeing the cast tucked under his jacket. “What do you think, Lucy? Should we formally induct him into our little club?”

Jackson furrowed his eyebrows at them. “What club?”

Lucy laughed it off, putting a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Our club for friends with criminal related PTSD.”

“For real?”

“It started off as a joke but there’s comfort in having someone who gets it.” Lucy explained, smiling at Wes. 

At the beginning, they’d get a drink together. Share coping skills. Talk about therapy. Laugh about it, even. The healing process was long. And as time passed, and as those close to them started to forget, they had each other to unapologetically be not okay. Their friendship eventually grew past that initial bond. Wes would even try to set Lucy up with some of his friends (with Angela’s insistence, of course).

“Well I’d love to join. We all might need to regroup after this anyway.” Jackson said.

They took seats in the gallery together as proceedings began. They would have to sit through a couple hours of other hearings first. But as those hours passed, Lucy was faced with the task of trying not to look at O’Connell in the meantime. He was sitting there smug across the room. Her hands started to sweat, her knees shaking under her skirt. As much as she loved having Wes and Jackson by her side, she still secretly wished to have Tim sitting next to her instead. Holding her hand. Squeezing her leg. He had this way of making her feel safe. During the toughest moments of her life, he was always there. 

* * *

Afternoon rolled along and Tim was more than relieved to get off the streets after a long morning. Not that a lot happened so far. Typically the most uneventful of days felt the longest.

When he arrived at the station during his break, he saw Angela sitting at her desk munching on a salad while continuing to do work on the computer. He walked up to her and sat on the edge of her desk. She was so focused she didn’t even acknowledge him.

“A detective never sleeps.” Tim mused.

“No she doesn’t.” Angela responded, not looking up from her work.

“Working a big case?”

“Sort of. A series of home invasions occurring in the same neighborhood but I already got a guy talking and giving names. I’m really just trying to get this done fast so I can head to the courthouse. Jackson and Lucy are testifying today and I thought I’d go for moral support.”

Tim nodded, pretending that this was news to him. “You must be really close with your boot.”

She looked away from the computer and raised her eyebrow at him. “And you’re not?”

“Not really.” He lied. A laugh bubbled in his throat. Close was one word for what they were.

“I heard Lucy talked to Grey about transferring. Do you know anything about that?”

He shrugged, trying not to sound defensive. “How should I know?”

Angela leaned back in her chair and looked at her friend quizzically. “I feel like I haven’t seen much of you in the last couple weeks. You’ve been so busy.”

“Just getting ready for that sergeant job.”

“Maybe that’s why Lucy’s moving to another station. So she doesn’t have to get barked at by you again.” Angela smiled. 

Her voice was unsuspecting, still under the impression that nothing was going on between him and Lucy. Tim was so sure Angela of all people would be able to see through his lies. She was always on top of him. And while he knew Angela wouldn’t judge them for being together, he liked having his relationship on the down low. So he’ll let her figure it out on her own. 

“So are you coming with me or not?”

If clocking out early didn’t already sound appealing, he wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to see Lucy. So after finishing up lunch, they drove over to the courthouse together. Tim had changed into a button down shirt and slacks he kept in his locker. Otherwise he would look like Angela’s police escort and he would never live that down.

As they walked into the courthouse, they could hear the proceedings were well underway. The voices loud as they bounced off every wall. He carefully pushed the large door to the courtroom but that didn’t stop its hinges from sounding. Although he didn’t look up to check, he knew heads had turned. And to make matters worse, when he did lift his head, he found that Lucy was already on the stand.

She looked stressed. Exhausted. Her posture was giving out, her eyes heavy, her face red and sweating under the lights. Somehow, all that subsided when she saw him.

Tim and Angela took seats in the back of the gallery. Jackson and Wesley sitting in front of them. The cross-examiner stood from his chair. Tim held his breath.

“Officer Chen, did you see my client pull the trigger?”

“As I said, I was knocked unconscious before my partner was shot.”

“So you didn’t see who exactly shot him.”

“No.”

Tim recognized the back of O’Connell’s head as he sat beside his lawyer. That was the only time he took his eye off Lucy. She had been avoiding the criminal’s face, only seeing him through her peripherals. While she answered the defense’s question without fear or hesitation, he could see her starting to squirm in her seat. Regardless, Tim was impressed. She had grown so much since he started training her. As much as he’d like to take credit, he couldn’t deny Lucy’s natural grown strength.

The defense tried to undermine her credibility, tried to find holes in her story. But everything he tried was a stretch. Lucy was smart. She knew that. 

After a couple more questions and meaningless back and forth, she was allowed to step down. Tim could plainly see the relief wash across her face. Right as she got to her seat, she puffed her cheeks out and exhaled in a sharp blow. She glanced at him as she sat down. It was only for a millisecond, conscious of their friends around them. But even that fast glance seemed to say a lot. Tim tried not to smile.

To no one’s surprise, the judge decided to proceed to trial. They’d schedule it for a later date but as for now, Lucy and Jackson’s part was over.

“You missed me on the stand.” Jackson told Angela as the six of them walked out. 

“He did great.” Sterling said proudly.

Tim noticed Sterling taking Jackson’s hand. And he glanced at Lucy’s hands hanging at her sides, and he thought about lacing her fingers with his.

“Of course he did. He probably would’ve choked if he saw his T.O. in the gallery anway.” Angela joked.

“Shut up.” Jackson laughed. He turned to Tim. “So did you come for moral support or to intimidate Lucy?”

Tim’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of her name being spoken. He stopped himself from turning to face Lucy who trailed beside them.

“Both.” He replied, keeping a neutral expression.

The three couples (a fact Tim soon realized) stood outside the courthouse. 

“So should we all go for drinks?” Jackson suggested

Angela nodded eagerly. “I’m so down.”

“Lucy?” He asked, turning to her

“Oh, you know I’d love to but I have an early flight tomorrow. And I still need to pack.” Lucy said.

“Right, you’re going to New York.” Wesley said. “I could use a vacation. Maybe you can help me convince Sherlock over here to take one.” He nodded towards his wife.

“Lucy’s supposed to be on  _ my _ side. Ever since you two became friends, I’ve increasingly felt ganged up on. Especially with you teaching him this meditation shit and making me do it with him. It’s annoying.” Angela rolled her eyes jokingly. She turned to Tim, slapping a hand onto his shoulder. “You down for a little after party, Serg?”

“No thanks.”

“Of course not. Both of you guys are no fun.”

Tim rode back to the station with Angela to get his car. She continued to try to convince him to go out for drinks the whole ride to no avail. He had other plans. Plans more intoxicating than drinks.

As they pulled into the station, Tim’s phone buzzed. Out of habit, he reached for his phone in his pocket, glancing at the screen.  _ Lucy Chen sent a photo.  _ He went to open the message before realizing Miss Nosey was sitting right beside him. Tim quickly flipped his phone screen down.

“Who is that?” Angela furrowed her brows. 

He pocketed his phone. “No one.”

“Then why are you so red?” 

Tim ignored her.

“You’re so full of shit.” She laughed.

Tim got into his car. He checked his surroundings to make sure no one, especially not Angela, was poking around in his business. He took a deep breath and opened Lucy’s message.

It was a picture of her panties tossed on the floor of her apartment.

He sucked in a breath.

**_Tim: I’m coming_ **

**_Lucy: Already? lol_ **

Tim rolled his eyes. He put the key in the ignition and raced to her place. Excitement already stirred within him. He was tempted to run the red lights so he could get to her sooner. Just the image of finally getting her all to himself was enough to make him rethink the speed limit.

He ran into the building. He stood in that elevator, agonizing over how long it was taking to get to her floor. Finally the elevator opened and he found himself moving down the hallway at record speed. Then, it was like she could feel he was near because before he could knock, she swung the door open.

“What took you so long?” She said coyly.

Before Tim could even think of something cheesy to say back, she pulled him into her apartment and onto her lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he kicked the door shut with his foot. She started fumbling with his buttons, dragging him by the collar deeper into the apartment until the back of her legs hit the back of the sofa. The bedroom was too far. Their lips didn’t separate once.

“I didn’t get to tell you that I thought you did a really good job today-” he started to say before she cut him off.

“Shhh shh.. No more work talk.” She whispered, her lips still on his. “Take off your clothes.”

She undid his top buttons and he undid the bottom ones. Lucy slid the shirt off his shoulders. She gaped at his body, his muscle. The way his chest hair was almost feather-like. He unbuttoned her shirt and tossed it over the couch. She dipped her head back for him to kiss her chest. After a long day, Tim’s sweet loving was exactly what she needed to destress.

His mouth returned to hers. And soon she felt his hands creeping up her skirt. She stepped closer to him to give him better access. He cupped her ass in his hand, his dick hardening as he realized her panties had been long gone. Her ass was so full. Her skin so soft and supple. He took her in both his hands, pulling her body flesh to his.

“You like my ass?” She asked seductively, her eyes wide looking at his.

“Mhmmm.. Love it.” He dove back into her mouth, squeezing her flesh in his palm.

Lucy turned around and bent over the couch, her derriere on full display. “It’s all yours.” She said.

Tim’s jaw almost dropped to the floor.  _ Fuck, she was intense. _ But Tim didn’t miss a beat. He hiked up her skirt all the way to her stomach, revealing her pantyless skin red from Tim’s attention. He bent over and kissed the small of her back. Moving down her body he kissed her cheek, getting a satisfied  _ “mmmhmm”  _ from his partner. Then a playful shriek when he bit her softly.

He slid his hand between her thighs, moaning at the feeling of her eagerness. “You’re so wet.”

“No more teasing.” Lucy complained, blindly aligning herself with his pelvis.

He pulled his pants down. Lucy looked over her shoulder, quietly begging him to give her what she wanted. So he plunged his member deep inside her. They groaned together. They fucked like this, her bent over the couch and him thrusting hard the way she wanted it. It wasn’t long until Lucy’s first orgasm. She had been all worked up since she got home and this first release was easily ignited. 

He eased her through her climax, going slow so she could feel everything. Then he grabbed her by the hips, twisted her around, and lifted her into his arms. She lazily wrapped her legs around his waist, her whole body going limp. He carried her into the bedroom and tossed her onto the bed. She hurried to take off what clothes she still had on before scooting to the edge of the bed and taking his dick in her mouth. Caught off guard, Tim groaned loud enough for the whole floor to hear. 

Needless to say, Lucy really enjoyed the power she had while giving head. That and she wanted to show her man her appreciation.

_ “Shiiiiit!” _ He hissed. 

He took himself out of her mouth and gently pushed her onto her back. She laughed, causing him to do the same. He crawled on top of her, lowering himself so they could kiss again. Lucy was addicted to this. The sex, the intimacy, she feelings she had for him. It was everything she never knew she wanted. They were so good together. 

She sunk her teeth into his shoulder as she felt him fill her once again. They sounded off in each other’s ears as if they were competing to see who could be the loudest. Words were muddled and incoherent at this point. It just felt so good.

With a couple more thrusts, she came. Tim followed, spilling inside her. Both of them gasping for breath. He eventually collapsed to her side. They laid there sweaty and panting for a moment before she turned and brought him in for another tender kiss.

“Thanks.” She said breathlessly. “I really needed that.” 

Tim opened his mouth to respond but came up speechless. So he just laughed. They slipped under the sheets with their arms around each other, listening to only the sound of their breathing and beating hearts. She gazed at his skin. Her eyes trailing across his chest to find she had scored teeth marks into his shoulder.

“Hey, you hungry?” Tim asked as he ran his fingers up and down her arm. He knew apart from sex, food was also Lucy’s love language.

“I’m hella sleepy but yeah, I could eat. Can you grab my phone from the living room? I’ll order some tacos.”

Tim got up, kissing her quick before going into the other room to retrieve her phone. He found it tossed between the couch cushions. Suddenly, it started to vibrate in his hands. 

“Hey, babe?” He called out, walking over.

“Yeah?”

He held the screen out for her to see. “Jackson’s calling.”

Lucy furrowed her brow. By the time Tim handed her the phone, it had stopped ringing. She looked through her texts. There were a bunch of unread messages. Some from her parents which she would ignore for as long as she could, and a whole bunch from Jackson. Suddenly the phone started to ring again. Lucy immediately picked up.

“Hey,” she answered. 

“Dude, I’ve been texting you for like the past 30 minutes.” Jackson said. “What the hell?”

“Oh sorry… I, um… My phone was on silent.” She stuttered. Lying wasn’t her strong suit when it came to her best friend. She looked up at Tim who watched naked from the doorway. The sight almost distracted her. “Why? What’s up?”

“I’m on my way to your place.”

“What? No wait, how far are you?”

“Sterling and I are pulling into the parking lot now.” He told her. 

Lucy’s eyes widened. She waved her arms frantically at Tim, gesturing for him to get dressed. He looked at her confused. Then Jackson's voice rang through the phone.

“Um, is that Tim’s car?” He asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment to help keep this story alive! I really appreciate it!
> 
> playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW?si=e75QFbSIQTm-zjbs-RHv6Q


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm good on my own, but with you I'm something else  
> You're telling me to choose up, but I already choose you

Lucy jumped off the bed, her phone still to her ear.

“That’s weird, I swear that’s Tim’s truck parked in the visitor’s parking.” She heard Jackson continue to say.

“Pft. Every tough guy in LA drives a Ford F150.” She retorted.

“But I swear to god that’s his plate… Whatever, I need you to buzz me in; I don’t have my key.”

_ Thank god,  _ she thought.

“Yeah sure, see you in a second.” She quickly hung up the phone and rushed out of the room. She ran right past a confused Tim and into the living room to retrieve her discarded clothes.

“What’s going on?” He asked her as he stepped into his slacks.

“Jackson’s on his way up. Like right now.”

“Oh fuck.”

“There’s no time for you to sneak out. He already saw your car in the parking lot. So you can either get dressed and make up an excuse or you can hide in the bathroom.”

“Jesus Christ, Luce, last time I tried to make something up Harper ended up finding out.”

“Then I guess you’re hiding because there’s no way in hell I’m letting him find out like this.”

Lucy quickly zipped up her skirt and put her bra and shirt back on. She ran her fingers through her disheveled hair. Her heart racing. She jumped when she heard a knock on the door. She ran over to Tim and pushed him into the bedroom, slamming the door shut. He could hide in her ensuite. She turned her foot towards the front door but looking down, she noticed her underwear on the floor. Mortified, she quickly kicked the garment under the couch.

God, and the whole apartment smelt of their sex. Even her muscles had yet to recover from it, like she was going into sudden withdrawal. She could still feel him within her.

Lucy took a deep breath, straightened out her skirt, and carefully twisted the doorknob. She cracked open the door and barely poked her head out.

“Hey,” she said, trying (and barely succeeding) to sound calm and collected. “What’s up?”

“You’re really not gonna let us in?” Jackson asked, raising a brow at her.

“Oh um…” She opened the door wider. “Sure, but I’m kind of busy trying to pack really fast for tomorrow then call it a night because if I don’t get to bed soon I might not get any sleep.”

“First of all, you’re talking a mile a minute. Second, I still technically live here.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“It’s been a long day, we know.” Sterling said. “We’re just gonna pick up a couple of Jackson’s things then we’ll be out of your hair.” 

“Of course.” She put her hand on her forehead. “Sorry, it’s just- it really was a crazy day and I guess I’m still a little on edge.” 

Jackson returned from his room with a tote bag filled with random clothes thrown in. “Yeah, are you okay? You did seem a little antsy after court. Even now, honestly.”

“No, I’m great. So great.”  _ Ugh, I sound like a crazy person. _

“You sure?”

“Yes. Why are you so far up my ass?”

Then Jackson looked at her bedroom door, then back at her. His eyes smirked. His mouth curving into a knowing grin.

Her face went bright red.  _ Fuck,  _ she thought,  _ he knows. _ And he was messing with her. Of course he was. Jackson would never let her live down the fact that she was sleeping with Tim. But hell if she was gonna outright admit it. She could already picture Tim with his ear pressed up against the door, shaking his head at how bad a liar she was.

“Well then I guess I’m all set.” Jackson said, lifting the tote bag and ending their little staredown. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Lucy wasn’t gonna crack. 

“I need to get back to packing for my trip.” She said.

Jackson tried to hide his smile. “I bet you do.”

“You guys are insane.” Sterling said in a chuckle.

Lucy could feel her face burning. Her heart pounding. Humiliation coursing through her. Just when she thought Jackson was gonna confront her about it, he gave her a hug instead. 

“Have fun in New York.” He told her, squeezing her tight.

Lucy sighed, “I will.”

She showed them out, pushing the door closed behind them. She finally exhaled. When she turned around, Tim had come out of the bedroom looking sympathetic. The tightness in her stomach subsided. 

“You’re trouble.” She exasperated, dropping her shoulders. 

He wrapped her in his arms. She let her head rest in the crook of his neck, sighing. He rubbed her back gently

“I guess we should be sneaking off to my place from now on.” He told her.

She tried to laugh. She wanted to say something. Something witty. Instead she just wrapped her arms around his torso and squeezed him closer to her.

This part wasn’t gonna be easy. Telling everyone. Tim and Lucy would have to go public eventually. As fun as it was to sneak around, that wasn’t all it was. This was far more than casual hook ups. It was real. Unfortunately, Tim was about to become Sergeant and Lucy was still waiting on an opening in another station. She couldn’t date the sergeant. It’s best to keep their relationship secret… Even though it was getting harder to.

That’s probably why Jackson didn’t say anything. Still, now that he knew, it was only a matter of time before everyone else did. But that was tomorrow’s problem.

“Tim,” She said into his chest.

“Yes?” He replied.

“Can you stay the night?”

“You’re asking me this time?” He said, almost surprised. “You’re not even gonna pretend to want to kick me out?”

“Call it a step forward.” She said sheepishly. She was already blushing as she asked him, but it was her own stupid way of telling him how she felt.

Tim laid on her bed watching as she packed her things in a small suitcase. Her clothes, her makeup, her shoes.

“Where are you planning on wearing that?” He said, eyeing the satin black mini-dress she stuffed into the back.

“Rule number one of travelling: always bring a little black dress with you.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“You never know when you’ll need it.” She explained.

Tim laid back in the bed. It didn’t bother him. Not at all. Although he did kind of wish he’d get to see her in it. And he really was gonna miss her, even if it was only for three days.

“In college, Rachel and I used to party all the time. Almost every night. Meeting guys and not even getting their names before bumping and grinding on the dance floor. We thought we were gonna live forever.”

Lucy went quiet suddenly. They never talked about Rachel. Her being away on the East Coast definitely helped with that. Was it weird that he used to date her best friend? What’s worse is that Lucy’s the one that set them up. Lucy didn’t know at the time how she felt about Tim. That was before the kidnapping– the turning point in their relationship. He was no longer just her training officer then. After he saved her, her heart was his.

He noticed her sudden shift in emotion. Her bubbly, excited self turning fretful and awkward as she continued to pack her things without saying a word. Tim slid to the edge of the bed, pulled her hips into his arms, and gave her a reassuring look.

“Whatever you’re worried about, don’t be.” He said softly.

She tried to play it off like she was okay but she couldn’t. She couldn’t hide from Tim. She wanted to ask about their breakup. She wanted to know what really happened. Both Rachel and Tim had been very tight-lipped about it. Was it just the distance? Were they just not a good match? Did it have anything to do with Lucy? As much as she wanted to ask, she set her curiosity aside.

“I don’t want it to be weird between Rachel and I.” She murmured. This wasn’t the first time the two friends had slept with the same guy. It was college after all. But this was different. How Lucy felt about Tim was unlike anything she ever felt... 

“It won’t be.”

“It feels like I’m about to ambush her with this information.”

Tim looked at his hands. “I think she knew…”

“Knew what?”

“That I ended it because of you.”

Lucy froze. Her heart almost stopped. She could feel a sense of guilt while at the same time feeling completely enamoured at his earnestness. This wasn’t hard for him to admit. 

“I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”

Lucy was left in disbelief. “But you asked Grey about transferring to NYPD… You went to visit Rachel in New York… ” 

“I never left LA, Lucy. I never even packed my bags. I told you she and I ended things on good terms but that’s not the whole truth. After dropping Kujo off at your place, I drove home and purposely missed my flight. I called her and I told her that I changed my mind. And that was it. I couldn’t pretend that there was a chance for us to work it out when what I felt for her was nothing compared to how confused I was about you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”  _ I wish you would have… _

“I kissed you at Angela’s wedding didn’t I?”

All this time, she thought his feelings for her were grown in the past couple months. Only to find out now that she’d had his heart for much longer.

“I think I’ve been into you since the day we met.” He said. So openly, so confidently.

“So wait, you mean to tell me I had to pick up Kujo’s shit for a whole weekend while you were here in LA that whole time?”

“Really, babe?  _ That’s  _ your takeaway?”

They laughed together. He took her forearms and pulled her onto his lap. She lazily threw her legs over his and interlocked her fingers around the back of his neck.

“Thanks for waiting for me.” She whispered, before pressing her lips to his. 

They fell asleep spooning. Which neither Tim or Lucy ever thought they’d do. Spooning and cuddling in bed seemed so domestic. Turns out it was comforting, even a little sexy. 

The next morning, Tim woke up to find the spot next to him empty. He groaned, wishing her body was still close to his to help him ease into a new day. He was surprised to see she had beat him to it. Usually Tim was the one to wake up first. Him even having to nudge her awake as she groggily begged to sleep in. He sat up and looked around. He hadn’t fully woken up yet but he already wasn’t looking forward to parting with her.

This was the first time in a long time (maybe even ever) that Tim drove somebody to LAX. He hated airports. The weird, detached feeling. The eerie chill he got while passing busy travellers. Lucy didn’t expect him to offer, insisting she was fine taking a Lyft. 

“As your boyfriend, I don’t mind taking you.” He told her as they got in the car.

“Hmm.. boyfriend…” She repeated. He was quite assertive in how he said it. It filled her stomach with butterflies. “Something about that seems very high school but I’m into it.”

He put his right hand on her thigh without looking away from the road. “I’m glad.” 

He pulled up to departures, Lucy adamant about it not being necessary for him to park. She didn’t want a dramatic send-off. He helped her out of the car and took her bags from the back. She was holding a thick coat over her arm; October on the East Coast seemed unfathomable for this Angeleno but she was excited to get over there regardless. She wore an ear-to-ear smile on her face. She clearly didn’t have the same distaste for airports as he did.

He faced her, handed her her carry-on, and tried to stomach the slight sadness he felt knowing they had to part for a while.

“Text me when you get to JFK. That place makes LAX look like a retirement home.” He said.

She nodded. “Got it. And don’t forget to text me pictures of Kujo.”

His smile turned into a laugh as he realized how dramatic they were being. She was only gonna be gone for three days. 

“I’m gonna miss you.” He told her anyway.

She stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, kissing him passionately. He kissed her back, almost wanting to dip her like it was the 1950s. This was the first time they ever showed any PDA. Kissing out in the open like that felt so good. So freeing. Like they were a normal couple. She never realized how much it would mean for him to proudly kiss her in public, for him to call himself her boyfriend without restraint. 

“Keep that bed warm for me.” She said with a coy smirk as they pulled back.

“Already thinking about your homecoming?” 

“It’ll give you time to think about how miserable your life is without me.” 

“Well it’s a good thing you’re mine.” He said.

He kissed her one more time before leaving. This was the ‘kiss and drive’ area after all. As he drove away, he watched as she walked through the sliding doors. He hadn’t even pulled out of the airport yet and he already missed her terribly. 

When Tim got home, Kujo was eagerly jumping up and down for him. He made sure he was fed and walked before he hopped into the shower to get ready for work. As he headed out, he noticed Kujo standing by the door wagging his tail and whimpering. Tim already knew what he wanted. He felt the exact same way.

“We’re gonna see her on Monday, buddy.” He told him. It was meant as comfort for the dog but he needed it just as much. 

_ Three days. _

He got to work on time, despite desperately wanting to go back to bed and sleep until Lucy was back. It was so crazy that his world suddenly revolved around her. Nothing–not even his marriage– ever took priority over his work. But Lucy was always at the forefront of his mind nowadays. 

At around 4pm, he was relieved to find he got a text from Lucy. She had done what he’d asked and checked in with him. Lucy was officially on the other side of the country, in a completely different time zone, yet his heart still tethered to her’s.

**Lucy: Just landed xoxo**

He smiled as he opened the picture she sent of herself making an annoyed face in the crowded New York airport.

**Tim: Now I’m jealous of the East Coast.**

**How was your flight?**

**Lucy: Good. Lots of turbulence though.**

**I swear I was gonna throw up.**

**Tim: That’s what the street hot dogs are for.**

**I gotta get back to work. Talk later?**

He stared at his phone for a minute, hoping for a speedy reply, before burying it in his pocket. The last thing she wants is her boyfriend bombarding her with texts during her girls weekend, he thought. He wasn’t gonna hold his breath for a possible FaceTime chat later.

After a long day, Tim finished work and clocked out. He just wanted to get home as fast as he could, eat a hamburger or something, watch some Friday night football, and go to bed. Only he didn’t even make it past the parking garage before being cornered by Angela. Tim groaned.  _ This isn’t gonna be fun… _

“So what did you end up doing last night?” She asked, walking beside him stride for stride so he couldn’t avoid her.

“None of your business.” He grumbled back.

“Fine.” She puffed. “So Jackson and I got to talking last night…”

“What do you want, Lopez?”

“You know, there was a time when you and I would tell each other things.”

“And?”

“You’re really not gonna give it up, huh?”

He ignored her. They walked a couple more steps. As much as Tim tried to dismiss her, she was still there. He really just wanted to get home. He wasn’t in any type of mood to entertain Angela’s little ramblings.

“By the way, do you and Lucy wanna go on a couples retreat to Napa with us next month?”

He stopped in his tracks. He caught his sudden reaction and regretted it but it was too late. 

“So you talked to Jackson…” Tim exhaled deep from his chest.

Angela had a stupid smirk on her face like she was satisfied with herself. “You do realize that you both are terrible at keeping it a secret, right?” She almost burst into a fit of laughter. “We’ve known for weeks. Frankly, we’re surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”

“At least Jackson had the decency not to address it.”

Then, Nyla walked by and Angela stopped her with a jump in her step. “Hey, Tim just admitted it!”

Tim’s eyes widened at Nyla. “You told Lopez?” 

“You told her and not me?” Angela demanded, crossing her arms. She went from giddy to mad at the snap of a finger.

Tim rubbed his temples. The whole conversation made his head hurt. 

“I didn’t tell her anything. You guys just suck at keeping it a secret.” Nyla said casually before walking away. 

If only Angela was more like her.

“I guess all it takes is the perfect girl to warm a cold man’s heart.” Angela knew the romantic sentiments would piss him off. Her giddiness returned.

“Can you not talk so loud?” Tim hissed, pulling her to the side.

“Fine,” she said, reluctantly lowering her voice. “Are you two just hooking up or are you guys dating?”

Tim kept his palm to his forehead. First, he wasn’t prepared for her to find out. She’d been playing it aloof all this time. He really thought she didn’t suspect anything. Second, the mere thought of Lucy just being a booty call was preposterous to him. Even the casual sex they tried was never just casual. Not with the way he felt about her.

“Angela…” He started, but he was at a loss for words. His mind exhausted by the confrontation that he couldn’t even think to form a single sentence. 

Except one.

“I’m in love with her.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! Comments are my main motivation these days!
> 
> tumblr: jane-gloriana.villanueva.tumblr.com
> 
> playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW?si=WhUCerc-QlSxrA6Yt8NzWw


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's nothing you can do or say  
> I can't escape the way I love you

**Tim: If you end up wearing that black dress, send me a picture ;)**

Lucy blushed as she looked down at her phone. She read his text over and over until the butterflies in her stomach were enough to make her fly across the Manhattan skyline. Her mind started to wander. Thinking about him holding her waist at the club, spinning her around. His fingers would graze her thigh as they danced...

“What the hell are you smiling about?” 

Lucy immediately snapped her head up and saw Rachel grinning at her.

They sat together, eating dinner at a Korean restaurant downtown. The place was loud so their voices were easily drowned out by the hustle and bustle of the city. A conversation on Rachel’s new job had been going until Lucy’s phone lit up on the table. Once she looked down, she totally zoned out.

“Shit, sorry.” She mumbled, tucking her phone away in her purse.

Rachel laughed. “Girl, I don’t know what you’re apologizing for. Whoever that is,” she pointed to Lucy’s purse with her chopsticks, “seems to be making you really happy.”

Lucy pursed her lips together and tried not to smile.

“Are you gonna tell me about him or-?”

“Rachel…” She stammered, lowering her head down shyly.

“Do I know him?” Rachel asked. “It’s not Mitch, is it? I know he and Sarah  _ say _ they're open but that’s hardly ever the case.”

Lucy scrunched up her face. Thinking about her cheating ex-boyfriend being in an “open marriage” made her relieved she dodged that bullet. “Absolutely not. Not in a million years.”

“Then I can’t think of one person you wouldn’t wanna tell me about. If you’re happy, then I’m happy.” Rachel was famous for those deeply-caring eyes. Never ill-intentioned, never jealous. It was one of her traits that made guys fall at her feet. She was the nicest person Lucy ever met. The thought of possibly hurting Rachel’s feelings loomed over Lucy’s head. 

“It’s Tim.” Lucy said cautiously. “Tim Bradford.”

She watched Rachel as she leaned back in her chair, bringing her wine with her and taking a slow sip. Lucy’s heart started to race. She reached for her own glass of wine and chugged a sip of liquid courage.  _ Dammit, _ she thought. She stared off at the corner of the table, instantly regretting her candidness.

“Hey, I’m just playing.” Rachel suddenly said, leaning over the table and letting out a laugh.

Lucy sighed with relief. “Oh my god, I literally hate you.” She joked.

“You two make so much sense. The man was crazy about you even back then.”

“Sorry.”

“Oh don’t be. He and I were never really gonna go anywhere.” Rachel smiled. “So how long has it been going on?”

“About five weeks. And given the fact that we still work together and everything, we tried to keep it really casual but that lasted all of one weekend. I swear I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I can’t even explain it.” 

“You seem so happy, Luce.” Rachel swooned.

“I am. The happiest I’ve ever been I think.”

Lucy never realized how good it would feel to be able to openly speak about her relationship with Tim. It was so easy. She had been keeping him a secret for so long that it felt like a breath of fresh air when she finally let her heart spill out of her chest. Luckily, Rachel was all ears.

They spent the rest of the dinner talking about their beaus. Rachel had also been keeping her new boyfriend a secret, not wanting to make Lucy feel any kind of way. But now that they knew they were both officially off the market, they had so much more to catch up on. Rachel even suggested she visit with Tim next time and they could double date. That of course was a far stretch as it would probably take all the convincing in the world to get Tim to agree on a double date. 

After dinner they took the subway up to 42nd St and made their way to the Al Hirschfeld Theatre. Rachel surprised her with tickets to see  _ Moulin Rouge _ on Broadway. Lucy looked at her in ecstatic disbelief.

“Consider it an early birthday present.” Rachel said as they walked arm-in-arm through Time Square.

They used to watch the movie all the time in college. It was their go-to when one of them was going through a breakup and needed a good cry. It was the ultimate love story after all. But watching the show made her miss Tim. And not just because they sang his favourite song,  _ Lady Marmalade. _ She did end up crying. Not out of heartbreak, but because watching it reminded her of her own epic romance.

_ I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words  _

_ How wonderful life is now you're in the world _

* * *

  
  


As fun as New York was, Lucy was much happier to be back in Tim’s arms.

The minute she landed in LA, she urged him to take her to his bed. That first kiss at the airport sending a spark of desire through her. Her desperation for him made Tim burst at the seams. And because he had missed her just as much, he did so gladly.

They fell onto the bed together within seconds of arriving at his house. Their hands all over each other, compensating for being apart for the last 72 hours. She seemed to be so sensitive. Every touch sent chills up her spine. Every breath set her body on fire. Tim took full advantage of that, pushing every button to set off a new, satisfied response from her. 

“You missed me that much, huh?” He asked after a simple kiss around her jaw caused her to moan.

Lucy scoffed at him but even his cocky side comments weren’t gonna break her arousal. And yeah, she did miss him that much.

“You drive me crazy.” She quipped before closing the gap between them and kissing him again with gusto.

He laid her on her side and came up behind her. Her naked flesh pressed up against his. Her back hot on his chest. She reached behind her and felt him in her hands, touching and caressing everything and anything she could reach. All while he moaned and sucked at her neck. 

“I want you so bad.” She panted, her ass grinding up against the stiffness in his briefs. “Please.”

Tim moaned at her words alone. He helped her in taking down his underwear, barely making it past his knees before Lucy took his dick in her grasp, blindly aligning him with herself. Her breaths thick as she begged for him.

He kissed her around her neck and ear, letting her get lost in that feeling alone before burying himself deep inside her. 

“Ugghhhh,” she cried out.

She felt so warm and tight around him. It felt so right. He missed that. Their bodies had been miles apart for so long that as soon as they touched, it was electric. And it took everything in him not to come as soon as she took him.

“What do you want, baby?” He whispered in her ear.

“I want you on top of me.” She wanted to feel his weight against her. She wanted to look into his eyes as he fucked her. 

Without missing a beat, Tim pulled out and rolled her onto her back, his body caging over her. She threw her arms up and over his shoulders, pulling him down so she could feel his abs brush roughly against her chest. She wanted every bit of contact. She wanted all of him.

She’d never been with a guy who cared as much for her pleasure as he did his. Guys she dated were usually so eager to chase their own release that they never paid attention to her. So that’s what Lucy thought sex was always gonna be like. Until Tim. Never in her life had she experienced such emotional sex. It made her melt.

Lucy writhed wildly underneath him. Tim’s weight, careful not to crush her, kept her place. She could feel her clit rubbing against his pelvis. She was starting to feel her orgasm building. Incoherent sounds and pleas escaping her mouth without any force.

With his eyes never leaving her’s, he was inside her again. He kept his face close. Their breaths became one. When she garnered the strength, she’d lift her head up to kiss him. He explored her mouth with his tongue and absorbed her moans. The sound sending a vibration down the back of his throat and across his body. 

“Fuck,” he panted, moving his mouth to her neck. 

She held his head there, moving her head a little so her cheek could feel the warmth of his face.

“Yes-” she whimpered.

He thrusted harder. She mouthed her approval. His blue eyes turning to a deep cove color as they stared into her’s with so much affection. It was so intense. And it only made it better. His thirst for her. The way he was so keen on making her come. 

“You feel so good.” Lucy whispered against his head.

She smoothed her hand against the side of his face. The roughness of his light stubble grazed her soft skin. He moaned with her as they edged closer and closer. 

“I love you.” He said.

She heard his words but only for a cloudy second. Not enough time for her to fully feel the weight of what he said. He had her eyes rolling to the back of her head. Her breaths aggressive with desperation. He kept his pace but reached for her clit. She gasped, everything going black for a second before she jerked her hips against him, clamping down on his sex and crying out. She swore she saw stars. He slowed. He was kissing her neck and chest as she settled.

He gave her a couple more slow thrusts before falling to her side, breathing heavily. Their hands stayed intertwined.

Lucy gave herself a moment to calm down before turning to him. She held herself up by her elbows and just looked at him. She watched as he collected himself– his eyes closed, chest heaving. Lucy couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. 

She cleared her throat to grab his attention. Tim’s eyes bat open at her. 

“What is it?” He asked.

“Nothing,” she shrugged, that coy smirk not leaving her face.

“You okay?”

“Mmhmm.” She nodded. She slid her hand over his chest, her eyes looking down as she murmured, “you said ‘I love you.’”

He almost looked confused for a second. Then his expression softened.

“What? Sex with me is so good you tell me you love me?” She chuckled breathily, lying back down beside him.

This wasn’t her first time hearing those words during sex. Guys she hooked up would throw it around in bed all the time. After believing it an embarrassing amount of times, she learned that it was always more of a heat of the moment thing. They didn’t love her, they loved getting off.

But she was wrong this time. Tim turned to his side and draped his arm over her stomach. 

“That’s not exactly how I imagined telling you…”

Lucy was immediately flushed. 

He wrapped his hand around the small of her waist and looked deeply into her eyes, making sure she saw him. All of him. His heart, his affection.

“I love you.” He whispered. 

“Oh,” Lucy blurted out. She was never one to be able to hold her tongue. She blinked back at him, unsure of what to feel.

A part of her didn’t wanna believe him. For some reason she felt overwhelmed. She couldn’t explain it. Her heart practically leaped from her chest. Her breathing became short.

“Wow,” she exhaled. Her eyes couldn’t look back at his, as if she would faint if she even tried. 

“Wow?” He repeated.

“No one’s ever…”  _ Not like this. _

“I do.” He told her. “I’m so in love with you.”

Lucy had never been with a man who made her heart feel this way. Like it was gonna explode. It was such a foreign sensation. She had never been with anyone who loved her.  _ Really _ loved her. Like this. Lucy had been hurt so many times that she shielded her heart, only for Tim to burst through and set it free.

Even now, his gaze never left her.

This was the kind of love she dreamed of. The kind she never thought she’d have. The kind she almost couldn’t imagine until she had it. 

Tim was quiet, waiting anxiously for her response. Just when he thought she got scared off, her smile returned. 

She rolled on top of him. Her whole body on display. Her infectious smile outshining the sun peeking in through the windows.

She held onto his chest for support, carefully running the pads of her fingers lightly down his torso. She was shy. Her cheeks flushed pink. When their eyes met again, the anxiety disappeared. The words were hard for her to say, yet they slipped right from her heart.

“I love you too.” She told him. 

At that moment, Tim sat up and tossed her off balance, catching her back with his forearms. She squealed. He laughed with her. Her arms instinctively swung around his neck. He laid her down on her back, his arms still holding her, and he crawled on top of her once again. Their lips meeting for a kiss that could move mountains. Their tongues dancing against one another. She was falling in love with him more and more each second. 

“Move in with me.” He said into her mouth.

She moved her back back and looked at him. “Tim…”

He could already see the worry in her eyes. “Don’t worry about work.”

“Last time I moved in with a boyfriend, he ended up cheating on me and marrying my best friend.”

“I promise you I would never marry Jackson.” He said, causing her to laugh her worry away. “These past couple weeks I’ve basically been living at your place. At least if we’re here you won’t have to worry about Jackson walking in on us.”

Lucy grimaced at the thought. “I guess it’s not much of a secret now…”

“Plus Kujo waits for you at the door every single day. So what do you say?” He asked. “I want your face to be the first one I see every day.”

Lucy didn’t have to even think about it. “Yes,” she said.

“Oh c’mon, sound more excited than that!”

Lucy lifted her arms over her head, raising voice loud enough for the neighbors to hear, and exclaimed with zero hesitation, “Yes!”

With that, they were kissing again. Both of them fighting to get back between the sheets. 

“Tell me again.” She said.

Without missing a beat, Tim replied, “I love you. I love you so much.”

She sat up and saw it in his eyes. His love for her. So she leaned forward and just hugged him. Her arms over his shoulders, his holding her up by the waist. And they just sat there in each other’s embrace. A new warmth washing over them. It was so simple. So easy. And for once, all Lucy wanted was to have him hold her and soak in his words.

“I love you too.” She whispered back, a tear rolling down her cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! What's next for Tim and Lucy?
> 
> This chapter was kinda short but the next ones are quite lengthy. I have a lot planned :)
> 
> PLAYLIST https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW?si=cWBqynjFTWqEKJA8hDuQFQ


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm tellin' everybody you're mine and I like it  
> And I really hope you don't mind, I can't fight it

Tim poked his head in the bedroom to find what he already figured: Lucy asleep. It was already 11am and she was still curled up in bed with Kujo tucked beside her. He had taken over Tim’s side of the bed, though it was becoming more his spot than Tim’s. As much as Tim preferred to be the one beside her, Lucy couldn’t say no to Kujo. And Tim couldn’t say no to Lucy. 

From the doorway, he watched as she began to stir. She rolled onto her back as one last attempt to find solace, but her body was telling her to wake up. Kujo was already up. He was about to jump out of the bed at the sight of Tim but he quickly put his finger to his lips to keep him quiet. 

Tim carefully made his way to the bed, careful not to make a sound. He wanted her to wake up on her own. He slowly sat next to her and waited for her. After a couple more attempts to return to her sweet slumber, she rolled over and delicately opened her eyes to him.

“Happy Birthday, baby.” He whispered to her.

Her lips curved into a sleepy smile. 

That’s when she noticed Tim had a bouquet of soft pink roses in one hand, and a tray on his lap. Equipped with waffles, berries, and her favorite chai tea latte made just the way she liked it. 

“You’re too sweet.” She said, putting her nose to one of the flowers and taking a breath.

Tim smiled, picking up a blueberry and flicking it into Kujo’s eager mouth. 

“Only the best for my love.” He said, knowing it would make her blush. And she did, her cheeks turning pink, her smile wide. Tim wasn’t one for cheesy sentiments but when he indulged her, it made her swoon.

He leaned in and gave her a slow peck on the lips. She didn’t really like being kissed first thing in the morning. She complained she had terrible breath. Tim didn’t share the same opinion. But today was an exception. She  _ wanted _ to be kissed by him.

She smelt of fresh berries when their lips parted. Like sweet vanilla. He wanted more. He wanted to smother her with kisses and show her every way she made him feel. But that would have to wait.

He brushed his thumb against her cheek and said, “Eat up. We have a lot to do before meeting your parents tonight.”

Lucy made a face before taking a mouthful of her breakfast. “I really  _ really _ don’t wanna go.” She said. “I feel sick.”

“You’re just nervous.”

“That  _ and _ I just turned 30.” She pouted and slumped back in bed. “We should be out getting shit-faced on tequila shots or something.”

“Um, I think that’s what you’re supposed to do when you turn 21, not 30.”

“Either way I shouldn’t have to spend it having an awkward dinner with my folks.”

“Well, I promise we can do whatever you want after dinner with your parents.”

“Anything?”

“Yes. And not just because it’s your birthday.” He looked at her and licked his lips.

Lucy had this glow about her. Her cheeks were pink from sleep, light bouncing off her cheekbones like something out of a painting. Her whole body glistened as she basked in the morning light. There was just something different about her. Perhaps it was another year around the sun. How grateful he was for it. He wanted just to sit there and bath in her beauty.

“You’re staring, Tim.” She chuckled, reaching forward and cupping his face with her free hand.

He blushed, realizing he was in fact staring. A little too much maybe. He couldn’t help it.

“I love you.” He said.

She brought his face close to her’s. So close that her words were right up against his mouth. “I love you, too.”

What started off as a soft peck quickly escalated into a heated makeout session. The food on Lucy’s lap almost knocked over before Tim blindly set the tray aside. They were just so desperate to be closer.

Tim had prepared to give her a couple presents. The first was breakfast in bed. This is the first time since she moved in that he’s done that but it wasn’t going to be the last. 

The second was something he knew she’d love: for his head to be between her thighs. Making her feel as good as she was. Slow and sensual. He got three orgasms out of her– one for each decade of her life. After the third, she dozed off into a nap. Tim probably shouldn’t have tired her out. At this rate, she could probably sleep through the day. That was on him. Coincidentally, it did ease some of her anxiety. 

The third present would have to wait for tonight.

That afternoon Tim was in the living room watching TV, leaving Lucy to have some alone time in the shower. They preferred going in together (to save water, of course) but Lucy didn’t wanna be all sexed out too early in the day. Their sex tends to linger in her bones for hours. No amount of “no monkey business” reminders could stop them once they got undressed. So, for the sake of time and energy, they took turns.

“I’m just gonna quickly walk Kujo around the block.” Tim poked into the room and told her. 

He noticed all her makeup sprawled across the bathroom counter, her fingers rummaging through. She was still in her robe but her hair was blow-dried, and her makeup pretty much done. He liked how at home she seemed.

“Okay, I’ll be done by the time you get back.” She said, not looking up at him as she brushed mascara through her eyelashes.

He did a quick lap around the block with Kujo and when he returned, Lucy had just stepped out of the bedroom all dressed up. She wore a crimson turtleneck sweater over a pair of black leggings. Her hair was straight, a change from her natural wavy locks. Her makeup was subtle. Lucy was usually very conservative in what she wore but she was even more so today. Not that Tim complained. It was just weird to see her so visibly uncomfortable, a far departure from her typical optimistic self.

After giving kisses to Kujo, Lucy and Tim made their way to Long Beach where her parents lived.

She used the drive down the I-710 to respond to the avalanche of text messages she had been receiving all morning. There was one from everyone she knew. Plus a sweet Instagram tribute from Rachel: a picture of them at some college party from way back. A memory she knew Tim would enjoy once they got off the road.

He noticed her blush as she opened another text. “Who’s that one from?”

“Jackson.” She said absentmindedly while typing a response. She quickly hit send and pocketed her phone. “He’s asking what your plans are with me today.” 

“And what did you say?” 

_ “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” _

Even though Jackson knew about the two of them, Lucy never outright told him they were together. She’d keep it that way for as long as she could. She still wanted to savour having Tim to herself. 

“Is this the house you grew up in?” Tim asked, one hand on the wheel.

“No, I grew up in San Jose. We didn’t move to LA until I was in middle school.” 

“You miss the Bay Area?” 

“Sometimes. I was super excited to move to LA though, because it meant we were closer to  _ Hollywood.”  _ She exaggerated her accent as if she were Marilyn Monroe. “Didn’t think I’d end up a Los Angeles police officer though.”

They sat back and enjoyed the peace of just driving together. The calm before the storm, as Lucy called it. She couldn’t quite stomach her anxiety. Her parents were great. She was lucky. They weren’t overly traditional, never especially domineering. Yet they still continuously got on her back. For petty things. If it wasn’t her outfit choices they criticised, they hounded her for not pursuing a career in psychiatrics. She already knew they would have something to say today about Tim. 

She had briefly considered skipping out on dinner with her parents altogether. Jackson had already suggested a karaoke bar would be much more fun. While she agreed, attempting to reject her parent’s invite would just exhaust her. Lucy was the one to invite Tim, thinking it would make the night better. The more she got to thinking, the more she realized how disastrous it could end up. What with her parents’ invasive nature. She just about tried everything to talk him out of it with no luck. He really wanted to meet them.

“It’s that one.” She said, pointing to a large beige house under copper-colored roofing. 

Tim parked on the curb, looked over and noticed his girlfriend’s worried eyes staring at the stoop. He put his hand softly on top of her’s.

“Are you ready?” He asked.

She wasn’t. But she nodded anyway.

When they knocked on the door, it only took a couple seconds before it was opened by Mrs. Chen. She looked at Tim briefly with an unreadable expression before smiling at her daughter.

“Hey, mom.” Lucy said as they stepped inside. “This is Tim.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Chen.”

“Ah, your training officer.” Mrs. Chen said, extending her hand to Tim’s.

“My boyfriend.” Lucy corrected her.

Tim couldn’t help but notice the surprised look on her mother’s face. She looked perplexed, blinking back from Lucy to Tim. 

“Anyways. Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Her mother wrapped her in a hug. She pulled her back, held her arms in her hands and gave her a once over. “Seems like you’ve gained a bit of weight, dear.”

Lucy forced a smile on her face. As soon as her mom turned around, she rolled her eyes and sighed. She glanced at Tim, almost to apologize. Almost embarrassed. Her mom was never especially warm. While she was used to it, Tim might not be.

But he shook his head, leaned forward and whispered, “you look beautiful.”

He followed as she quietly removed her shoes and tucked them away in the corner. She took his hand and walked over to the dinning room where her father was. The man was stern looking. A bit stoic. But that softened once he saw Lucy. Tim could tell she took after her dad with their similar facial features. Her eyes. Her nose. But she got her lips from her mom. They had similarly deep cupid’s bows, only Lucy’s were more pouty. 

“Aba,” She said, bending down to give her dad a kiss on the cheek

“Hello, Lucy Liu.” Her father said with a smile.

“Lucy Liu?” Tim raised an eyebrow at his girlfriend.

“She was obsessed with Charlie’s Angels.”

“Ah I see.” Maybe that’s one of the reasons as to why she wanted to join law enforcement. But she was 10x hotter and more badass than any of those angels.

“That and because all the racist kids at school used to call me that.” Lucy scoffed; she always thought of herself as more of a Drew Barrymore. The nickname grew on her eventually. “Dad, this is Tim.”

“So you’re the man who turned my daughter into a police officer.” Dr. Chen said, facing him.

“She did that on her own, Sir. I just gave her some tips.”

Lucy nearly retorted at Tim’s remarks. “I don’t think of you making me walk outside the shop on my first day of training a ‘tip.’”

Tim chuckled. He just wanted her parents to like him so if that meant being modest and singing her praises all night then that’s what he’ll do. Though when he glanced at Dr. Chen, the warmth he had shown his daughter didn’t extend to Tim.

“You want a tour?” Lucy asked, turning to Tim.

“I’d love one.”

Lucy took him through the living room. The place was neat, very unlike Lucy’s apartment. A bookshelf lined the wall adjacent to the couch. Psychology books. Classic literature. Collections of sheet music. Leafy plants sat in each corner of the room. 

The floors were cold under his socks as they circled the space, Lucy not saying much. For her, this was nothing special. But Tim liked seeing where she used to live. He was getting to see a new side of her.

Tim’s eyes landed on the piano, the one she spoke about a couple weeks ago. It was an older instrument. Made of wood, the edges were worn down and faded. He ran his fingers over the white keys, lightly so they didn’t sound. He imagined her as a child learning how to play. When he looked up he saw her timid smile.

“I wanna hear you play.” He whispered.

“In your dreams.” She scoffed, taking his hand and leading him towards the stairs.

She took him down the hall, almost seeming to rush past the dozens of picture frames lining the wall. Tim stopped her.

“Is this you?” Tim almost laughed as he pointed to one of the frames.

Lucy nodded, “mmhm.”

It was a picture of Lucy when she was a baby. Maybe 2 years old, taken in front of a blue backdrop. She looked the same: her hair darker than it is now, her smile just as big. There was this radiant happiness to her, something that seemed to have never faded as she matured.

“Look at those cheeks!” He mused, taking a closer look.

She playfully pushed him and laughed. “Come,” she said, “It’s been a while since I snuck a boy into this room.”

She led him into the room at the end of the hallway. When she opened the door, it became clear to him that he was seeing her bedroom. The walls were a pale shade of peach, probably faded from pink over time. One wall was covered in posters. She had everything from Britney Spears to Michelle Kwan to My Chemical Romance. There was even a Sigmund Freud decal that read “Time spent with cats is never wasted.”

“Don’t tell Kujo about that one.” Lucy joked.

She sat down on the neatly made bed and crossed her legs. She studied him as he wandered around her room. There wasn’t a whole lot to look at. She had cleared a lot of her stuff when she moved out. All the embarrassing photos and paraphernalia from her teen years gone and tucked away. And while her room was practically barren, he still looked at everything like it was all very much still a part of her.

For Lucy, this was the one time since they arrived that she could actually relax. 

“We should probably go back down and spend time with your folks. I don’t wanna be rude.” Tim said, giving her a hand to get up.

He was right. Of course he was. Lucy sighed, too tired to protest. “Fine. The sooner we eat, the sooner we can leave.”

“Why do you want to get out of here so fast?”

She stood and slid her leg between his, keeping her face close. “I have other things planned.” She whispered. 

His breath hitched. Something about her trying to seduce him with her parents just downstairs was so hot. He went in to indulge her but she jerked her head back.

“And because I can already feel their judgment.” She grumbled.

“About?”

“You and me.”

Tim furrowed his brow. “Why?”

Lucy shot him a look. He knew that up until her phone call with her parents the night before, she hadn’t told them she was dating anyone. Let alone her former training officer. A divorcee nearly ten years her senior. This was the first time she brought a guy home to meet them. And there was a reason why. 

Tim suddenly felt the nerves in his stomach. Usually meeting a girlfriend’s parents wouldn’t scare him but he wanted to make a good impression. Their daughter was his entire world, the woman he loved. It mattered what they thought of him.

The two of them went back downstairs. Mrs. Chen had already set the table and was bringing the food out. Lucy took a seat in front of her mother, Tim beside her, while her dad sat at the head of the table.

Tim made sure he complimented Mrs. Chen’s cooking as they ate. But the whole meal was otherwise mostly met with an awkward silence.

“So, Tim is gonna be Sergeant starting Monday.” Lucy suddenly said in an attempt to break the ice.

“You’re gonna be her boss?” Her dad asked. 

Tim hesitated. He didn’t wanna say the wrong thing but he also didn’t want Lucy to have to speak on his behalf. 

“Yes,” he mumbled. “But not for much longer.”

“Oh?” Her mother said.

“I’m transferring to another station.” Lucy said without taking her eyes off her plate.

“Why is that?” Her father asked. “Did you get a promotion too?”

Lucy forced a smile on her face. “No, dad, I didn’t get a promotion. I just thought it’d be better to move.”

They continued to sit in silence. Tim had no idea what to say. He wanted to help justify Lucy’s decision to transfer without saying it was because of him. But in hindsight, it didn’t make any sense otherwise. Lucy lived close to Mid-Wilshire. Her friends worked at Mid-Wilshire. She had built a great rapport with the other officers there. Tim knew her parents’ stance on Lucy’s job, and for her to make a change because their relationship was not going to go over well.

“So,” Tim cleared his throat, “I noticed some photos in the hallway upstairs of your vacation to China. Are you able to visit often?”

“When our schedules allow.” Mrs. Chen said. “Except Lucy hasn’t gone for a visit in some time now.”

“I went before the academy.” 

“That was almost three years ago. And I doubt with you moving to another station you’ll be able to get any time off. Nǎinai isn’t getting any younger.”

Awkward silence again.

“Well, I’ve actually never been to China but I’d love to go one day.” Tim said. 

He felt Lucy squeeze his thigh under the table. He couldn’t tell if it was a good or bad signal. Was he saying the right thing? When he looked at her, her face was indifferent as she ate her food. 

“Do you both plan on being police officers forever?” Mrs Chen asked. “Lucy, you are 30 now and your eggs-”

“Mom!” Lucy snapped, her hand leaving Tim’s thigh. 

“I’m just saying that that kind of work comes with a lot of risks. What if one of you doesn’t come home one day? Then what?”

“It’s policing, mom, not war.”

“Don’t be so naive.”

“Mom-“

“You almost died.”

Another silence. This time it was unnerving. The four of them sat there remembering that horrid day and the weeks that followed. From Tim’s perspective, it was a day he thought he might have lost his partner. For Dr. and Mrs. Chen, they didn’t know if they were ever going to see their daughter again. So Tim didn’t blame them for hating what they did. Not only did they work for a system that sometimes punishes people who actually just need help, but it was putting their only child in great danger. Hell, if Tim had any kids, he would not want them to follow in his footsteps.

Ever since the kidnapping, they hated her job more than ever. Just when they were starting to be accepting her daughter’s new found passion, all of that went away when they received that chilling phone call from Sgt. Grey.

Lucy looked at Tim, then back at her mom. She opened her mouth and proceeded to speak in Cantonese. He had never heard her speak it before. Frankly, he was surprised. He couldn’t understand a single word Lucy was saying but she could tell by her parents’ faces that it wasn’t good. She spoke through clenched teeth, her tone fierce.

Her mother responded with the same sharpness. Lucy didn’t look up at her as she spoke. While he himself couldn’t understand the language, it didn’t take an idiot to realize they were talking about him. The way Mrs. Chen’s eyes darted from Lucy to Tim as she seemed to chastise her daughter. The way Lucy couldn’t even turn her head toward him out of embarrassment.

They argued passive aggressively. Not how Tim remembers arguing with his dad when he was still around. The same tension was there. But only through words and harsh stares. He could feel the heat radiating from the table where they sat. The more they bickered, the more he wanted to come to her defence.

However, Tim wasn’t gonna say anything. That would only make things worse. Lucy was fending for herself. So he continued to sit there, eating the delicious dinner Mrs. Chen prepared and pretending all was good.

The rest of the night was spent in continued silence. Dr. Chen made an effort to make small talk but it was exactly that: an effort. Tim appreciated that. He liked her dad. He just couldn’t shake his feeling of disappointment that he might’ve ruined his chances with Lucy’s mom.

Tim insisted on doing the dishes in a last attempt to get on her mother’s good graces. While it seemed appreciated, he couldn’t tell if he had won her over yet.

“Well, I hate to cut the night short but I promised my friends we’d meet them for drinks.” Lucy told them. Lying, of course.

Her parents saw them out. While their spirits appeared to stay up, Lucy looked miserable. She kept her head down, trying to smile when she could, but ultimately keeping to herself. Tim took her hand. He didn’t care about what they thought. He just wanted to make sure she was okay.

“It was nice to meet you, Dr. and Mrs. Chen.” Tim said, shaking their hands with his free one. “Thank you so much for having me.”

“Thank you for coming.” Mrs. Chen responded, smiling at him then at her daughter. “Enjoy your birthday, Lucy Liu.”

Lucy and Tim got in the car and hit the road. They drove in silence for a couple miles before she eventually leaned forward and turned up the radio. He glanced at her. She was staring out the window, watching the highway flash by them. He frowned.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked softly. 

She slouched back in her seat and rubbed her temples gently with her ring finger. “They just give me a headache sometimes. I’m fine.” 

“Are you sure?”

Although dinner with her parents had gone less than favourably, the night was far from over.

She nodded. “Yeah, let’s just go home.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Sorry I haven't posted in a while but I'll try to get the next chapter up next week. BTW who's excited for the season 3 premiere? The promos look so good!
> 
> PLAYLIST https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW?si=cNaeFR28RB6Enj-xPNjsPg


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If the world should end tomorrow  
> And we only have today  
> I'm gonna love you in every kind of way

_ “He’s a good man, Ma. He saved my life.” _

_ “You wouldn’t have even been in that position in the first place if you hadn’t become a cop.” _

_ “Then why are you punishing  _ him _ for it? I chose this career on my own. It’s who I am.” _

_ “If you would just finish your PhD…” _

_ “It wouldn’t matter; I like being a cop.” _

_ “And clearly you don’t care much at all for your career if you’re throwing it away for a relationship. You know what happens when someone gets involved with their coworker. You’re a grown woman now, Lucy. This is the time you should start thinking seriously about your future.” _

_ “Ma, I love him.” _

Her train of thought was cut off when she felt Tim’s hand on her thigh. She glanced up at him. He was giving her a reassuring look, identical to the one he’d been giving her all evening.

She knew what her mom meant. Lucy would be lying if she said she didn’t have the same preservations. It’s something that had been eating at her subconscious for months. While she had come to terms with the work hurdles they would face, there was so much more she hadn’t considered. When was she supposed to start thinking of the long run? What did she imagine her life looking like five years down the road? It was an intimidating thought. She looked at Tim again and she breathed. What they had was real. Adversity or not. What mattered was that she was happy.

As soon as they walked into the house, Kujo was excitedly jumping and wagging his tail. Lucy fell to her knees and gave him a big scratch. Even though Lucy basically lived there, Kujo’s excitement to see her never ceased.

“Shall we take this guy for a nighttime W-A-L-K?” She suggested, briefly looking up at Tim who watched with a smile on his face.

“How about I give you your present first?” He said.

Lucy continued to pet Kujo and laughed. “Is it an actual present or more sex?”

“Would you complain if it was the latter?”

She shook her head, blushing bright pink. “Absolutely not.”

Tim grinned. “Well, it’s right over there.” He pointed towards the living room.

Lucy had gotten so distracted by Kujo that she hadn’t looked past the foyer. But once she did, her eyes grew wide.

She slowly rose to her feet and made her way through the house. She took cautious steps. Her heart was beating so fast that she almost forgot to breathe. Up against the windowsill was a dark rosewood piano. Shiny and new. It wasn’t as grand as the one she grew up playing but it was beautiful. She reached out and touched the instrument, running her fingers across the smooth wood. It was perfect.

Lucy’s jaw hung. She was speechless. She almost started to cry and she didn’t know why. Maybe it was the gesture, or the way it looked so fitting in Tim’s living room, or what all of that meant altogether. Whatever the reason, her heart swelled in her chest.

“You like it?” She heard Tim say from behind her.

She turned around and saw him standing sheepishly with his hands in his front pockets. He had a modest smile on his face, as if he didn’t just gift her the keyboard of her dreams.

“How did you-?”

“I had Angela and Wesley bring it in here while we were at your parents.” He explained.

“Tim…” She stammered breathlessly. “You… This is… Oh my god.”

“It’s all yours.” He took her hands in his. “Happy Birthday.”

She couldn’t form any words. None to adequately express her gratitude. It was so thoughtful. By far the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her. And to come from Tim of all people. She could feel her love for him in every nerve of her body.

Lucy grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him close to her, pressing her lips onto his. They kissed for a moment, Lucy unable to let go of him too soon. She pulled back and smiled. Her eyes became misty.

“Thank you.” She whispered, trying not to cry. “I love it.”

“Can you play us something?”

She looked down and noticed Kujo watching at their feet. She smiled, “Maybe later. I wanna show you how much I appreciate you first.”

Lucy threw herself into his arms. He picked her up in a swift motion and let her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. She leaned forward and kissed him more deeply this time. They had barely made it past the bedroom door when Tim pushed her up against the wall. Her back arching against it and onto his chest as he rectified her aching lips. 

She fumbled with his buttons, desperate to get moving. When he set her down to her feet, she kicked forward and pushed them both onto the bed. She hovered over him while she kissed him, his hands finding her bare waist under her sweater. She pulled away. 

“Wait here,” she panted, pushing his shoulder down so he was lying on his back.

Tim obliged, watching Lucy as she jumped off him and hurried into the bathroom. He propped himself up by the elbows and stared at the closed door. While he waited, he took this moment to shake his shirt onto the floor, Lucy already having done most of the work to get it off. She came out a minute later, her head poking out first.

“Don’t laugh.” She warned, holding herself in the doorframe. 

“I won’t.” He said, though he was still smiling.

Taking her time, she emerged from behind the door.

She held both hands behind her back and stood timidly, presenting herself to him. In three piece satin lingerie, she was a mystic beauty. He gazed at her. Gaped at her. Her magnificent body. The way those sheer, thigh-high red stockings hugged her milky thighs, held up by a garter around her waist. Her red satin panties and a matching bra that carried her breasts. 

Her body glistened. Her posture was confident and seductive. With every curve saddled with thin pieces of fabric, nothing was left to the imagination. Her lips were plump and pouty as she waited for his response.

She was _ breathtaking. _

“Wow…” he breathed, his whole body almost falling to her feet. It was like he was dreaming. Her lips looked so sweet like she had spread honey across them and all he wanted to do was have a taste. “Even though it’s  _ your  _ birthday, I feel like I’m the one getting the present.” 

She threw her head back and laughed. “You like it?” 

“I _ love _ it.” And he couldn’t believe it. Any of it. 

“Well… I thought we could try something new tonight.”

Tim nodded along to her every word. He just didn’t wanna admit that nothing she was saying was really sticking. He couldn’t help but be distracted by the sight of her. Even with her on the other side of the room. The words she said slipped from her mouth so soft and sensually that just watching her speak gave him an intense craving to be close to her.

“I thought we could try these.” She said. 

He watched as she brought her hands out from behind her back and held out a pair of silver handcuffs.

Tim instantly snapped out of his trance. “Uhmm… Are those your off duty cuffs?”

She nodded once, nervously biting her lip. “Uhh yeah. But I sterilized them.”

“You wanna be handcuffed?”

“Not me.”

Tim raised his eyebrows at her.

“You said  _ anything _ , remember?” She pleaded. Her lower lip pouted forward, causing his eyes to discover her body again. “Believe it or not, I’ve never tried handcuffs during sex.”

“Believe it or not?” Tim repeats with playful confusion. 

Tim had come to learn that Lucy was a very sexual person. She wasn’t shy about what she liked, what she’d done in the past. She had a bit of a kinky side. Lucky for her, Tim was addicted. He wanted every piece of her. And with that seductive smile already turning him on, how could he say no?

“Please?” 

Tim reached out and held his wrists together. A tantalizing smirk washed upon her face. She had been a little apprehensive about asking. She suspected he might not be into it. He was a cop after all. Instead he gazed at her like he’d climb mountains for her. Like she was the most beautiful being he’d ever seen.

She moved towards him, reaching for his wrists before she felt him stop her.

“Wait,” he whispered. 

He traced her body with his fingers. He wanted to have a chance to really feel her in his hands before he was unable to do so. Her skin was soft like silk. Hot to the touch. His fingers grazed the sides of the garment, his thumb running down her sides. He pulled her garter slightly down and put his fingers beneath her breast. She watched him move his head forward and hover over her tattoo. The numbers etched on her skin. He put his lips on her, kissing the numbers.

He brushed his cheek against her stomach and looked up at her. Her eyes smiled.

Lucy bent one knee onto the edge of the bed between Tim’s thighs. She gently took his right hand into her’s, her other hand unlatching the jaw of the handcuffs. She looked up at Tim to make sure this was still okay, and he just laughed incredulously. Even he couldn't believe what they were doing. 

She herself chuckled. He had this way of making her feel so comfortable. At times she still can’t believe this was the same man whom she deemed a pain in her ass.  She latched one cuff onto his wrist, bringing his hand to her lips and pressing a soft kiss into his palm. 

Lucy urged him to the top of the bed where he sat up against the headboard. She smirked and said, “hands above your head, Bradford.”

The corner of his mouth turned up. Hearing her be so in command was really hot. He lifted his arm up above his head. She shot him a look, her eyes gesturing towards his other arm. He playfully rolled his eyes before putting his other hand above his head and lacing his fingers. She laughed and cuffed him to the top of the bed frame. 

She kissed him quickly on the lips once he was fully secured. “You good?”

He nodded, a cool unbothered grin across his face. “I’m all yours, baby.”

Then her eyes were overcome with lust. She lowered her head to his neck and dragged her lip across. 

He already started making some noise. From pleasure or from realizing the nuisance that was his restraints, she couldn’t tell. His hands would normally be wandering her body at this point. She could feel in the tremble of his moan he wanted to do just that. It really turned her on and they were barely getting started.

Lucy unbuckled his belt, smiling deviously at him as she did so. He watched along as she dipped her hands into his waistband, her warm hands on his thighs as she slowly lowered his pants. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little nervous. He was used to being the one in control. But today was all about Lucy. No complaint there.

Lucy leaned forward and kissed the base of his hard cock. Tim groaned. She smiled to herself, satisfied at how easy it was for him to lose himself to her touch.

She took him in her mouth, her eyes never breaking from his, and moaned against him. He could feel her moan against his cock. She knew that always drove him crazy. 

“Jesus, Lucy, hold on.” 

“I wanna make you come first.” She whispered, before adding a sarcastic,  _ “Boot.” _

He raised an eyebrow at her choice of nickname, which she met with a smirk.

“Fine, but I’m gonna get you back real good.” He told her, although he didn’t know how he was going to do that when he was tied up.

He usually liked to do her first. Making her come was just as hot for him as it was for her. He liked going down on her. Now, he couldn’t do anything but let her take the reins. He couldn’t flip her over. He couldn’t return the favour. He couldn’t caress her face or stroke her hair. All he could do was watch. Again, he wasn’t complaining.

His legs tensed, his wrists pinching in the cuffs.

A groan roared from his throat as he came into her mouth. He was left a breathless mess. He relaxed, falling back against the pillows, his arms still suspended by the bed frame. His eyes drifted closed. He couldn’t tell if it was for two seconds or two minutes but he was left absolutely reeling. 

“Did I tire you out?” He heard her ask in a breathy chuckle.

When he opened his eyes, she was wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. He shuddered.

“Almost.” He admitted. She was really good at giving head but that was one of the best. He could doze off right then. “Are you gonna get me outta these things now?” 

She shook her head once and climbed on top of him, her ass on his thighs. She had a mischievous smile plastered across her face. Like the fun had just begun. 

She rested her hands on his chest, her arms pushing her breasts together. He watched as she sat there, studying her curves and knowing that’s exactly what she wanted. To have him go crazy with nothing to do about it.

“Fine.” He conceded. He looked at her hungrily. “Let me taste you.” 

She slid her fingers inside her panties and brought them to his lips. His tongue found the pad of her index finger. He could taste the saltiness of her arousal and that was enough to get him stiff as a rock again. 

Lucy leaned forward so they could make out. Tasting his lips. Sucking on her tongue. Exploring each other’s mouths. She was breathing heavily. The heat between them was getting unbearable.

“I wanna be inside you.” He whispered into her ear, causing her to quiver with excitement.

Lucy hooked her thumbs under the sides of her panties and took them to the floor. She smiled as he watched helplessly with hungry eyes.

She readjusted herself on his lap. For a moment, she grinded her sex along the length of his dick. She held onto his shoulders as she went back and forth. Feeling him.

He was all her’s. In every single way.

They kissed some more. Their mouths moved in unison as Lucy reached in front of her and tipped him into her entrance. Slowly, she guided her hips down. Her lips left his to let out a soft gasp as she felt him deep inside her.

She closed her eyes, her eyebrows knitting together. She took her time, wanting to savour every inch of him like it was the first time. She was in the driver’s seat. She could go wherever she wanted. And what she wanted was to make love to him.

She held onto his face and kept her forehead pressed against his as leverage. His breath was hot against her cheek, whispering things to her that she couldn’t hear over the loud thumping of her pulse. 

“Mmmmm…” He moaned, reaching for a kiss. 

Instead she gave him her neck which he proceeded to smother with soft bites that drove her insane. 

As soon as she adjusted to his size, she rolled her hips against his, and immediately felt him reach her g-spot. A cry fell from her mouth without warning, which he muffled with a kiss. 

“Oh fuck…” She was embarrassingly close. She hadn't even realized it until it was getting to be too late to hold back. But she wanted to take her time. She wanted to fuck him good. Make him wish he’d met her sooner.

He struggled in the restraints, the metal digging into his wrists as she began to bounce on top of him. Her nipples puckering against the glossy satin of her bra. She held her breath for a few seconds before letting out euphoric groans again and again. 

Lucy ran her fingers down her cleavage and over her belly. She stopped at her clit, slowly rubbing in hard circles with the lengths of her fingers. She cried out. Tears almost filled her eyes.

“You are so fucking sexy.”

Tim watched in agony. He was so turned on, so frustrated he couldn’t touch her himself that surely there would be marks on his wrists in the morning.

“Tim, I’m gonna c-“ Lucy cried, holding her breath and feeling her thrusts. “Oh my god, oh my god.”

He started to lift his hips up, emphatically encouraging her to grind against his lap. Her hands shook as they held onto his chest, barely supporting herself. 

Even though she was entirely in control, everything he did felt so good.

“Come for me.” He encouraged her. He could already feel her in the early throws of her climax but his words were the tipping point. “Lucy-“

And just the sound of her name rolling off his tongue, the growl deep in his throat as he said it, made her burst. She cried out something incoherent, maybe his name. Her eyes clenched shut. Her whole body stilled over him but he continued to fuck her. 

She came down in a powerful crescendo that left her barely able to hold herself on top of him. Her mouth crashed onto his and kissed hard. Although her sudden lack of energy caused this makeout session to be sloppy. 

She threw herself over to the side table and grabbed the key, uncuffing him with quivering hands. With his hands finally free, he reached to touch her. He took off her bra and laid her onto her back, using his hands and mouth to worship her breasts. Then her hips. And elsewhere. Her body was wild beneath him. Both avoiding and searching for his touch.

He handled her gently. But once she was reacquainted with his loving fingertips, he made her come one last time for good measure.

“Holy shit,” Lucy said, her head digging into the pillow. “That was…”

Tim chuckled and tossed the discarded handcuffs onto the side table. “I just hope that was an exclusive birthday special and that we won’t be bringing work into the bedroom anymore.” He joked. “I liked it though.”

Lucy rolled onto her side and faced him. “As sexy as you were all  _ submissive _ like that,” she said, biting back a laugh, “I like your hands too much.” 

She took his wrist and pressed a kiss in the center of his palm, guiding it back around her waist.

They laid in bed together until it was completely dark outside. Lucy was fighting sleep and Tim liked to watch her try. She nudged him. Not to say anything. Just so their eyes could meet again.

“So what did your mom say?” He asked suddenly.

“I do  _ not _ wanna talk about my mom right now.”

“Your parents didn’t like me.”

“They don’t know you.” Lucy corrected him. “And it’s me they have a problem with.”

“Why would they?”

She sighed. “They think I’m rebelling against them. After all, me becoming a cop did start off that way. Then the support I worked so hard to get from them was quickly taken back after the whole Caleb thing. They really couldn’t have done more to dissuade me from returning to the force. And now there’s you.”

Tim did nothing but caress her shoulder. He didn’t know what he could say. He didn’t need to remind her of the difficulties they might face as a couple. Her mom was right: neither of them was guaranteed to come home every night. 

“Anyway, is that really what you wanna talk about right now?” She whispered, sliding her leg between his. She traced three upside down V’s into his shoulder. “I can’t wait to see that third chevron on here, Sergeant Bradford.”

“I may be Sergeant but you still have me completely wrapped around your finger.”

She laughed. “Let’s just hope we can keep our hands off each other until I transfer.”

“With all our friends knowing, it’s only a matter of time before everyone else finds out. Not to mention Grey.”

“Not the end of the world.” She spoke as if she had long made her peace with it. She laid on her back and threw the blanket to her waist, revealing her bare skin. She hovered her fingers over the numbers on her side and said, “I’ve already been branded once. And it didn’t kill me.”

He kissed her forehead. God, he was in love with her. Her strength. Her fieriness. Everything.

The next thing he knew, it was the middle of the night. He hadn’t even realized he fell asleep. A distant melody rocked him awake. He touched the pillow next to his, finding it empty. 

So he got up and followed the music. A trickle of light fingers dancing across the ivory keys. He noticed her, swimming in his T-shirt, her back hunched over the piano. She wasn’t playing any particular song. Just a couple notes and a vague melody. But it sounded like her.

She continued to fiddle with the notes before she noticed him standing by the archway. She stopped, a smile on her glowing face as soon as their eyes met. 

“I couldn’t sleep.” She said sheepishly, her fingers touching the top of the instrument. The sound came to a sudden halt.

“Don’t stop.” Tim said. “I wanna listen.”

“I’m so out of practice.” She turned her palm up and stretched her fingers back.

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms over her shoulders, her chest nestling nicely in the crook of his elbow. He leaned forward and kissed the top of her head. She sighed. There was no feeling better than being close to him.

A sleepy Kujo walked over, circling the space between their feet before lying down at the foot pedal. There was absolutely nothing more she could ask for. No matter what, he was there for her. She really couldn’t imagine anything bad happening to them.

“Tim?” She whispered, looking up at him. She didn’t have anything in particular she wanted to say; she was just getting emotional. “Thank you.” 

“For what?” He asked, smiling. 

“Everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh... What's gonna happen when they go back to work? Please leave a comment if you are enjoying this story! 
> 
> playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW?si=GMvS9rRzQ6eF-NWCgsiGcg


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: mention of sexual assault/rape.

“Maybe that wasn’t the smartest idea.” Tim told her as they scrambled to get dressed for work. 

“Research shows sex before a big competition can actually improve an athlete’s performance.” Lucy said as she snapped on a clean bra.

“That’s not what Mickey said.” 

“Who?”

“From Rocky.” He told her, only for her to shrug. “Really, babe? You haven’t seen Rocky?”

“Calm down, I’ll put it on my list.” Lucy laughed. She continued to blot out the excess water in her damp hair, keeping her eyes on Tim. He stood there shirtless, standing in front of his closet contemplating what to wear on his big day. She smiled at him. “I can’t believe I just had shower sex with Mid-Wilshire’s newest Sergeant.”

“You sure did calm my nerves.” He said sheepishly, turning to her with a navy blue v-neck sweater to his chest.

She nodded approvingly. It warmed her heart that he wanted her opinion. She wrapped her arms around his neck, got on her tippy toes and pressed a soft kiss on the side of his mouth. “I’m proud of you, Tim.”

“Couldn’t have done it without you.” He said. 

He really meant it. 

Despite their friends knowing about them, Lucy and Tim came in to work the next morning separately. It helped that her car was slower. Even if they hadn’t planned it, she was naturally a mile behind him. 

She spotted Tim as she pulled up but he wasn’t alone like she’d hoped. Waiting in that damn parking garage was Angela and Jackson. As soon as she saw the three of them standing together by their cars, she felt a rock form in her stomach. She tried to keep her composure only as well as someone who spent the morning fucking in the shower could. 

They all greeted her with welcoming smiles which seemed way too chipper for an early morning. 

“Speak of the devil.” Jackson said when a cheeky grin.

“Did you have a good birthday, Chen?” Angela said, crossing her arms. 

“Besides dinner with my parents? It was great.” Lucy replied. She nervously tightened her grip on her shoulder bag as she tried not to look directly at Tim, who in turn was watching her like a hawk. A lovesick hawk, that is.

“Better than great.” He murmured.

A hint of a smile appeared on her face before she bit the insides of her cheeks to contain it.

“You guys are so cute it’s actually gross.” Jackson chimed in.

“Watch it, you’re talking about the new Sergeant, remember?” Tim cautioned.

“What are you gonna do? Put me behind a desk? This arm beat you to it.”

It was Jackson’s first day back since having surgery but because he was still doing physical therapy, he was to be assigned light duty. Lucy would have to endure patrol on her own for a couple more days but it was nice to see his face. Even if it was from behind a desk.

The four of them made their way inside. Tim had to fight the urge not to hold her hand as they walked in. He was so proud to be her’s that it almost slipped his mind that they couldn’t do all the soppy romantic things. Especially not today.

“See you later, Sergeant.” Lucy winked at him and left to get changed.

“So what did he give you for your birthday?” Angela whispered as they got to their lockers. 

“Shhh…” Lucy hushed her, trying not to blush. “Besides, you already know about the piano right?”

“Of course. Wesley almost broke his back trying to get it into the house. I mean, was there anything else?”

Lucy laughed and shook her head. “Respectfully, that’s none of your business. Now be quiet!”

The pair were laughing so much that Lucy nearly missed the piece of paper that floated out of her locker. It landed at her feet. As they settled their laughs, Lucy picked it up. As soon as she flipped it over, her smile faded and she swore her heart stopped. She felt like a hole formed beneath her and swallowed her into the ground.

“What’s wrong?” Angela said, leaning over to have a look.

Lucy opened her mouth but nothing came out. Not a mumble. Not even a breath. It was as if someone had reached down her throat and took out her heart. She stood there staring at the picture in her hands. A picture she had once been proud of.

It was taken the day she graduated from the academy. Her smile was so big, so proud. But over her big smiling face was a message written in bold, black sharpie:

**_PROPERTY OF BRADFORD_ **

She froze. 

“Chen…” Angela whispered in disbelief. “I promise you I didn’t…”

Lucy looked up and found Angela standing in front of here, their heads hovered over the print. It took a couple of moments for Lucy to register what was happening, to harness her thoughts as they spun wildly in her head.

“You have to show Tim.” Angela said.

“No!” Lucy blurted out, quickly covering her mouth. 

“Lucy, this is serious.”

“It’s just a stupid joke.” 

Even so, Lucy couldn’t help the tears building in her eyes. She fought so hard to hold them back. She crumpled the photo into her palm until it was nothing more than a ball of trash. Her hands were shaking. She felt like she was gonna be sick.

She hadn’t realized it but she was leaning against the lockers to keep herself from falling over. She was humiliated to say the least. All she wanted to do was run to Tim and cry in his arms but that wasn’t happening. No way. That’s the worst thing she could do at this moment. She wasn’t gonna let this affect her (even though it already was).

Everything she feared was coming to fruition. She could already feel the stares and judgemental looks from her colleagues. In one minute, she was happy and in love. The next, she was being belittled, reduced. She was angry. She was embarrassed. She was hurt. Not only by the fact that they had objectified her like that but the way they took away her happiness faster than she could even realize possible.

She put on a brave face and head to roll call. She could feel Angela right on her heels but she walked into the room in stride. Unaffected. Or so she hoped. 

Eyes were on her. Like she was a target at the shooting range. She could feel it. Then the nausea came back. Violently. The scrutiny felt like she had just jumped off a building with no safety net. 

She tried to push her insecurities away. For all she knew, this wasn’t yet common knowledge in the precinct. Jackson, Nyla, and Angela were her friends. They would protect them. So she decided it might be easier to not make a whole thing of it.

There was one set of eyes she could feel most of all. Tim’s. His gaze was so strong that she felt it in her core without having to even turn around. But she forced herself to keep her head forward, take her seat beside Nolan, and put all her energy into her job.

As soon as Jackson walked in, every officer in the room got on their feet. Applause roared within the room. Lucy had seen it happen when Tim got shot, and even when she survived the kidnapping. She was just glad Jackson had everyone’s attention now. 

“Officer West, welcome back.” Sgt. Grey said from his podium up front.

“Glad to be back, sir.” Jackson responded, his head held high.

“There’s lots to celebrate today at Mid-Wilshire.” Grey said. “Our very own Tim Bradford is now Sergeant. So if you need something, go bother him about it.”

There was more clapping. Lucy participated but not as loud or as proud as she wished she could be. So she kept her face forward.

John and Lucy went to get their war bags together after roll call. It reminded her of her days as a rookie. When it was just John, Jackson, and her navigating the alien world that was the Los Angeles police department. Times were a lot simpler back then. Back when Tim’s presence made her so confused. It seemed like yesterday. And it felt like everything was happening too fast.

“Do you ever think about, you know, making your way up?” John said as they waited for their gear.

“What do you mean?” She said.

“In rank. Do you see yourself becoming a TO, detective… that kind of stuff?”

“Oh.” Lucy leaned against the counter and thought for a second. “Yeah, I think I wanna make detective one day. When I’m ready, obviously.”

“That’s not too long from now. I think you’d make an amazing detective.”

“Thanks…” She trailed off, her tongue caught in her throat once she noticed Tim in the distance.

He was talking to another officer, even looking happy to be doing so. Lucy could barely make out the new embroidery on his uniform. It was the first time she was seeing it. The new position looked good on him. But seeing him reminded her of the locker room. The defaced image flashed in her mind. She considered telling him but the thought of ruining his day loomed over her head.

Her stomach immediately started to turn.

“Hey, are you okay?” Nolan asked.

She turned her face to him and shrugged. “Yeah, I’m just a little dizzy.”

“Let’s get you a soda or something.”

If a soda was gonna alleviate even a fraction of her stress, then she’d drink a thousand.

During her lunch break, Lucy would be lying if she said she wasn’t lurking around outside Tim’s office, secretly hoping he’d come out. She was so lost in her thoughts all morning. She’d get it together long enough to stay sharp during a call, but that would change the second she got back into the shop. She wished the photo didn’t bother her so much. They might as well have spray painted her uniform. Or TP’d her house. It was so cruel. She hated how it made her feel.

But lingering there and waiting for Tim to come save her was not gonna help her case. They had done too much keep their relationship secret for her stupid insecurities to only fuel the fire. So she immediately turned her heel and walked away.

That is, only for her to run into Tim ten minutes later.

She saw him in his peripherals and kept looking forward. Pretending not to notice him and praying he wouldn’t notice her. But of course he did. Right away. 

“Hey,” he said casually as he approached.

She responded with a quick, “Hi,” without changing her speed. She walked right past him.

He stopped her. “Lucy, there’s no one around.”

“Anyone can come any second. You’re sergeant, remember?”

“I just wanna talk,” He laughed, “not take you on my desk with the door unlocked.”

She smiled although it pained her to do so. “As intriguing as that sounds, we shouldn’t talk like that here.”

“No, you’re right.” He said, taking a step back and hanging his hands off his belt.

They stood there for a minute. For Lucy, it was comforting enough just to see his face. He was her person. Her safe place. As much as she wanted to shout it out from the tallest building in LA, that proved to be a bad decision. 

“I should go.” Even she could hear the disappointment in her voice.

She lowered her head. If she really wanted to go, she would’ve walked away. Instead, her feet rooted themselves in front of him. 

“Is everything okay?” 

As soon as he said it, she almost burst into tears. With all her strength, she tried to swallow it in.

“Just feeling a little off today, that’s all.” She lied.

Maybe he could see it on her face or he could sense something was wrong. Because he always could. He had a way of seeing right through her. He took none of her bullshit.

“Tell me.”

She sighed, closing her eyes for a second. “Don’t freak out.”

“Why can’t I freak out?”

“Just promise, Tim.”

“Promise.” He wasn’t all that convincing but Lucy knew this was the best she would get out of him.

Lucy reached into her back pocket and retrieved the crumpled piece of paper. Why she didn’t immediately toss it in the trash, she didn’t know. But in handing it to him, she was setting off another fire.

“What the hell is-” but his fingers had uncrumpled the piece of paper before he could finish asking. 

Rage coarsed through him.

Tim thought back to the kiss in view of the security camera, the way she touched his shoulder when they fought in the interrogation room, the time Angela confronted him about it in the parking garage, and all the other ways they could’ve given themselves away. An overwhelming sense of guilt washed over him.

That feeling only intensified when he looked up and saw the hurt on Lucy’s face.

“I’m gonna find out who did this and I’m gonna report their ass.”

“Tim, don’t.” She pleaded, grabbing his arm before he had a chance to storm past her. She quickly released him like he was a hot stove top. “Bringing attention to it will only gonna dignify what it says.”

“You’re not _my property.”_ Disgust toned his voice.

“Yeah but if you make a scene, the next photo I get will say ‘BRADFORD’S WHORE.’”

“There’s not gonna be another one.” He said through clenched teeth. 

He immediately stormed past her. She reached for him but he was already out of reach.

“Tim!” She called out. “Sergeant Bradford!"

He kept walking. “I’m not gonna sit around and do nothing.”

He led them straight to Angela in the center of the precinct. In view of any and all passers by. So Lucy retreated a bit.

But Angela ignored Tim and tended to Lucy first, noticing her obvious distress. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She mumbled to her friend.

Tim, on the other hand, wasn’t even close to fine.

“Lopez,” Tim said with his authority booming in his voice. He discretely thrusted the photo into her hands. “Look into this and report right back to me.”

“For god’s sake, you don’t need to launch an investigation.” Lucy retorted, absently leaning against Angela’s chair to keep herself upright.

“What do _you_ wanna do?” Angela asked Lucy, completely disregarding Tim.

“What do you mean, what does _she_ wanna do? I’m asking you to find out who pulled this shit and tell me so I can make their life a living hell.” 

Lucy shook her head in disbelief and walked away. Far enough that no one could see where she went unless they followed her. And of course, Tim followed her. 

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“I have to go home. I don’t feel so good.” She replied, not looking back. “My entire world is spinning, I feel nauseous, and your macho man attitude isn’t helping.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll make sure you get the rest of the day off.”

“Thanks.” She mumbled. It was only Tim’s first day as Sergeant and he was already giving her special treatment. At this point, she really didn’t care. She had to get out of there and fast. “Just don’t put any more of your energy into this stupid prank. I can still salvage the respect I have left.”

Before he could say anything, she disappeared into the locker room. 

He didn’t see her leave the station but he knew when she was gone. He could feel her energy pull away. 

He forced Angela to tell him exactly what happened, where they found it, and who was there. And while Angela recounted everything, he was shaking with anger. So much so that nothing was registering in his mind. 

“She doesn’t want you to do anything.” Angela told him. “It’s a personal thing, not a work thing.”

“Of course it’s a work thing.”

“The best you can do is give her a breather. You can’t always save her.”

“Angela, you know I can’t help but-”

“I know.” She said. “But she needs her boyfriend, not _Sergeant_ Bradford.”

That night after clocking out, Tim got into his truck and texted Lucy.

Tim: How are you feeling? I’m on my way home now.

A full minute later, Lucy had sent a response.

**Lucy: I’m at my apartment. I just feel like being alone right now.**

Tim’s heart sank. She hadn’t entirely moved out of her place yet. That was a bigger conversation to have. They had just spent most nights together so he almost forgot what it’d be like not to come home to her. But he respected she needed her space. 

**Tim: Ok. Call me if you need me. I love you.**

He hesitantly hit send. She replied right away.

**Lucy: Love you**

When he got home, he walked Kujo by himself and explained to him that his mom was feeling under the weather.

Tim waited by the phone the whole night and waited for her to text him again. He practically had his car on stand by. The second she called, he would be there.

But she never reached out.

He hardly slept that night without her by his side. In fact, he even let Kujo on the bed with him in a desperate effort to feel less alone without her. Lucy was more than capable of taking care of herself. But after what happened today, he worried she might rather be alone than be with him.

When he woke up, he texted her good morning and let her know that he’ll see her at the station. Although when he got to work, she wasn’t there. It puzzled him. Lucy wasn’t one to take personal days. Maybe he’d fucked up even more than he thought.

He noticed Jackson sitting at his desk.

“Hey, did you hear from Lucy?” Tim asked him, not bothering to mask his blatant concern.

“Yeah,” Jackson said, “she’s out sick. She says she caught a bug or something.”

He pulled out his phone and sent her a quick text before prepping for work.

**Tim: I’m sorry about yesterday. I don’t wanna be that kind of overbearing boyfriend but can you check in with me? I just wanna know if you’re ok. Love you.**

Later, he met Angela at the hospital. She was investigating a case. An assault, as he had been briefed.

“Did you get a statement yet?” Tim asked, finding her outside the victim’s room.

Angela shook her head. She looked exhausted. The bags under her eyes, her posture starting to break.

“She’s still a bit loopy from whatever the guy gave her last night.” Angela replied. “She’s pretty scared.”

A pit formed in Tim’s stomach. “Did he..?” He gathered, but he couldn’t say the words.

“Yeah.” Angela sighed. “Physically she’s okay but emotionally? I’m not so sure.” 

Tim’s heart sank, his mind returning to the day they rescued Lucy. He remembered it so vividly. He could still feel the fluorescent hospital lights shining aggressively into his eyes. Because he felt such darkness inside, the intensity of the lights felt like a punch to the face. 

He could still hear the hustle and bustle of the Emergency Room. Officers passing through. Patients being rushed in. Doctors scrambling to save lives. 

He remembered how sick to his stomach he was thinking of Lucy.

He could still feel her weight in his muscles, heavy as he pulled her out of that barrel. The way she curled up against him. Scared. Relieved. He didn’t know. He couldn’t imagine. But he held her regardless. To protect her. And to say sorry.

Tim was sitting in the waiting room with Angela. The others had gone for a coffee run. Tim didn’t wanna leave. He had been bouncing his knee incessantly for the past 30 minutes. Angela had been trying to get him to stop to no avail.

“She’s alive because of you.” Angela reminded him, her voice soft and comforting.

“Because of all of us.” He corrected her. “And besides, she wouldn’t have even been taken if I hadn’t-”

“Stop. Tim, you couldn’t have known.”

He shook his head. He didn’t wanna have this conversation again. He could find Lucy laughing as if nothing happened and he still wouldn’t forgive himself. Tim made the worst mistake of his life. He could have prevented all this from happening. If Tim didn’t convince her to go out with Caleb, she would have never even seen the inside of his trunk.

He really fucked up.

Grace appeared in the waiting room. Angela and Tim immediately stood.

“She’s okay.” Grace said. “We put her on an IV to help with the dehydration.”

“Is she awake?” Angela asked, on everyone else’s behalf but especially Tim’s.

“She’s resting now.” Grace glanced over her shoulder, returning with a whisper. “Actually, can I speak with you privately, Angela?”

“Of course.”

Tim stopped them before they could even turn their feet. “What is it? About Lucy?”

 _Lucy._ He had been referring to her as that a lot lately. Not Chen and not Boot. In these last hours since she was taken, she was much more than just his rookie. _Lucy._

“Tim, I got it-” Angela tried to reason with him.

“No,” he interjected. Panic rose in his voice and when he realized it, he began to stammer. “Whatever it is… I should… Just say it. _I’m_ her TO.” 

_I was responsible for her._

Grace exhaled deeply, turning to Angela who nodded once.

“Is there any chance that Caleb might have…” Grace trailed off, her eyes shifting away from Tim’s. “...sexually assaulted her?”

Tim almost threw up. His guilt started to feel like a physical ache in every joint of his body. Grace and Angela’s voices became nothing more than a distant haze. 

“Caleb didn’t rape his previous victims.” Angela said. “Did she say something happened?”

“That’s the thing. There’s a large chunk of her memory that’s missing. She was out cold for hours. We gave her an emergency contraceptive just in case.”

That was the point where Tim couldn’t listen to any more of it. His head was spinning, his stomach flipped inside out. His whole body tore with regret.

His heart was conflicted. One part of him wanted to go and beat the shit out of Caleb’s already-dead body. The other part of him, the part that burned, wanted to go into Lucy’s room and talk to her. Apologize. Make sure she was okay. Make sure she knew that he was there for her.

He reached into his pocket and felt her ring in his fingers. Without taking it out, he traced the opal with his thumb. It should’ve been taken into evidence but for some reason, Tim kept it. 

* * *

Lucy didn’t reach out to him again until the next morning. 

**Lucy: My car won’t start. Can you pick me up?**

To say he was relieved to receive that text was an understatement, having tossed and turned the whole night before. He drove to her apartment so fast it was like muscle memory. He even stopped by Porto’s on the way to grab the cheese rolls she liked so much.

Tim knocked a couple times before he heard her undo the lock. The door opened slowly. Lucy barely came out from behind it. She was dressed for work but she didn’t look fully awake yet. There was this sadness about her, a far departure from how she usually was. Even on a bad day.

“Are you feeling any better?” He asked, kissing her on the forehead. 

Lucy shook her head once, confirming what he already suspected.

“Listen, I’m really sorry about how I acted the other day.” He said. “I want you to know that I support you and that I’m your boyfriend first before Sergeant.”

It was a bold statement. He wasn’t entirely sure if he should be saying that but it’s how he felt. She was important to him and he wanted her to know it.

“You don’t need to apologize.” She mumbled, keeping her face down. “Let’s just forget about it, okay?”

“It’s forgotten.” He came up to her and reached for another kiss but she moved her face. “Hey, are you sure you’re up to work today? It’s fine if you’re still feeling sick.”

“I have to tell you something…” She said under her breath.

It was redundant for him to ask if everything was okay when clearly it wasn’t.

She turned her back and walked over to the counter, her fingers holding onto the edge of the marble. She took a deep, loud breath. When she turned around, he noticed her eyes were bloodshot. She looked pale. Her cheeks were tear-stained. Her lips were trembling as she tried to speak, her voice falling just short of a whimper.

“Tim,” she whispered. The fear in her voice was undeniable. “I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment and tell me what you think! (ps don't hate me!)\
> 
> PLAYLIST https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1cJ0E8mxQcYxkyZo9pqoPW?si=06k78LUUSGyGC-W6k1NpLg


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